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The legislation in Tennessee (HB2666) defining "material change of circumstance" has now been signed into law (effective 5/24/04). It states :

changes in the needs of the child over time
(original MDA was when child was 3 months old, she is now 6 years old; big change)

changes in the parent's living or working condition
(BM has not worked in 2 years, and has just moved in with her Mom; they have no permanent home, and school district has changed)

failure to adhere to the parenting plan
(original MDA allowed me Saturday 10:00 a.m. until Sunday 5:00 p.m., every other week; I have records the last 3 years where I have had daughter 60+% of overnights)

Also, my attorney offered mediation; her attorney said she wants full custody, full support, standard visitation for me; no negotiation.  

Now, questions, in your opinion:  

1.  Do I meet the required "material change of circumstance"?

2.  Do I continue asking for full custody, and settle for less if need be?

3.  What, in your opinion, would be considered "fair"?

Thanks for your help; I am getting very anxious about this case, and we go to court on Friday, June 4th.  

Thank you; that's what we thought!

The only petition filed is for change of custody to Father.  Mother has not filed anything re: child support.  

Background:  I am NCP of 6yo daughter, and have filed for change in custody.  Our basis is the fact that I have had daughter 60% or more of the time on average the last 3 years.  BM and I divorced when daughter was only 3 months old.  The original MDA stated custody subject to modification when the child was 3.  

We have received a set of interrogatories from BM's attorney.  It looks like the standard questions from a divorce proceeding, i.e., regarding debts, assets, money transfers the last three years, etc.  I understand the importance of income, but debt?  I will have to spend hours trying to locate all this information.  My attorney is out of town, or I would be asking her this question.  

1.  Will I be required to answer all these questions, or can they be objected to as irrelevant?  

Thanks, as always, for your reponse.

That's just what I needed to hear!  

I didn't post my whole petition, or her whole response.  The first seven statements in my petition were answered either "Admitted" or "Denied" with explanation.  

The paragraph I quoted above was listed as "additional support of her Answer".  My question was related to that paragraph, so that is all I posted.  Sorry, I know I am confusing; but this is all new to me.  I just wonder how much the Judge will allow on this subject, or is it totally irrelevant?  

No proof, that I am aware of, unless she creates some.  But, it is hard to believe that all this personal stuff will be brought out in public; just embarrassing, to say the least!  

I have filed a petition for custody; ex-W has now filed her answer.  I would like your opinion, please.

One paragraph states:

"The Defendant would show that the Plaintiff has previously subjected her to harsh physical, emotional, and sexual abuse during the course of their marriage.  The Defendant would show that the Plaintiff has sought to continue to control Defendant's life following their divorce and has unreasonably and repeatedly demanded that she refrain from dating, has unsucessfully sought to persuade Defendant to have a three-way sexual encounter with Plaintiff and Plaintiff's present wife, and has also demanded that Defendant and Child and Defendant's son move in with Plaintiff and his new wife.  Defendant refused such demands, and believes that Plaintiff has brought this unwarranted Petition for Custody in retaliation for Defendant's refusal of such demands."

My response:  The marriage lasted from September til December, 1996.  She left soon after telling me she was pregnant, and moved back in with her ex-H.  There was NO physical abuse.  Sex was adverturous, but consensual.  As for emotional abuse, try living with the fact that your wife is pregnant, living with her ex-, and telling you that one day the child was yours, one day not; and demanding you sign your rights over to her ex-.  My present wife and I have been married almost 5 years; ex- called me a few weeks ago, and asked if we were happy together.  She said if we weren't, maybe we could get back together, and raise our daughter.  

Questions:

1.  Will the Judge allow testimony regarding this, since it has no bearing on the child?

2.  How should I prepare for this?

Thanks for your help!
 

Thanks, again!  Your advice is very helpful.  

You are right, she is stalling, and doesn't want to negotiate anything.  Her proposal is to just drop the case, and not change anything legally.  Then she will agree to let us keep daughter most of the time, as long as she still gets the support check every month.  And I am just tired of jumping through her hoops everytime she calls.  If I have daughter, I want it done legally.  And she can't understand why.  

I had a TRO in behalf of the child; the Judge allowed visitation with BM after hearing last Friday (2/27).  My attorney had advised me to proceed with caution, but let her talk and see what she has in mind.  I don't believe anything will ever come of it, because we both want custody.  And, yes, the fishy part is she wants to talk me out of going to court by letting me keep our daughter most of the time (off the record), and I continue to pay child support.  But after three years of this type arrangement, I am ready to make it legal.  

Her biggest defense:  I'm her Mother, I am supposed to have custody.  My defense:  I just want what is best for our child; I want her safe and stable.  

BM has now called me and wants to settle this; she cannot get an attorney to take her case, and she doesn't want to go to court.  My attorney has told me to proceed with caution, but to talk to her and see what she has to say.  I'm planning on working on a proposal this weekend, then try to sit down and talk to her.  We had verbally agreed on split physical custody before, but now I want legal custody and no child support, which she will fight.

Any suggestions?