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Messages - Genie

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11
and get this resolved and in writing.  Then you don't have to worry.  Go in with all the information.  You shouldn't have to stress about all this.  It should be cut and dry and mediation will help with that.

As for the "loan paperwork", I would tell her that she can pay her 1/2 how ever she wants but you will be paying yours monthly directly to the ortho.  I have really found it is the best all around to just pay your portions to the provider instead of to the BM.  That is what I always did in the past.  Then you have proof that it was paid and you don't have to deal with BM about it all the time.

I however, wouldn't send the certified letter to the ortho.  She has custody of the kids even though DH has joint legal. That really doesn't mean much.  If she can prove it is medically necessary then the court isn't going to hold it up and wait for when you can pay.  

12
Child Support Issues / I would do this........
« on: May 11, 2006, 10:12:05 AM »
call the orthodontist office and make arrangements for your DH to pay his 1/2 of the bill to them on a monthly basis.  So the $2K would be directly paid to them over say 22 months at $91 per month.  I don't know how long she will need braces for but that is an estimate.

Then BM can choose to pay her 1/2 up front to them if she wants to and you will not owe her any money.  Let her know you have made these arrangements with the office and tell her she is only responsible for her 1/2 and if she pays the full amount anyways, she will receive the amount you set up with the dentist on a monthly basis.

You can do this.  I did it with X's children.  Most places are very cooperative and are happy to get their money without any hassles.  And all orthodontists take monthy payments so this shouldn't be an issue at all.

Call then now.

13
Child Support Issues / Or maybe we all know...
« on: May 06, 2006, 09:15:58 PM »
that this is the way it is and no matter what "information" you come up with, it will not change our particular situations.

These are situations that all of us are in right now and have to deal with and want advice on and someone to just vent to.  What the law "really says" etc etc has no bearing to our current situations b/c that isn't going to do us a bit of good when court time rolls around.  I'm sure the judge will really care and will most likely, trying to state the above will make it even worse on the poor NCP who is already being broken by the high amount they are paying that the CP wants raised again.

So, will all of your resources and information, have you actually known anyone who has used it and won and not had to pay CS at all?

You can continue spouting off on the unconstitutionality of CS etc etc but that doesn't help anyone here.  Nothing has been said on how to apply it and use it and make it work.  Maybe b/c it never has been used to someone's benefit.  

How about giving some of us some sound advice for a change? Sorry to sound so combative here but to me you sound like you are having a pity party above b/c no one is jumping up and down praising you for all your research.

14
Child Support Issues / I'm in IL......
« on: Apr 28, 2006, 10:02:14 AM »
it is separate from CS.  It is usually 1/2 of costs paid.  Some have had it garnished along with CS from pay check. Others pay it themselves.

Make sure you have to be furnished with receipts before you pay your 1/2 so she can't scam you.  Try to make it so it is not garnished.

Now it is not always ordered either.  The judge in my case didn't order it b/c how can he pay if he is unemployed?  But he didn't care the he was not working by choice and hadn't been for 5 years.  He reserved it for when he does get a job then stated "but I don't know how he would be able to pay it then either along with CS and 1/2 of insurance and medical bills".  Sorry venting but I am one case where the NCP gets away with not paying or being ordered to pay stuff and I get stuck with the whole bill because of it.

So if it comes up demand that providing receipts is in the court order and you will pay your 1/2 afterwards within XX amount of days.  And make sure she has to give you the receipts in XX amount of days (i.e. 14 days) from receiving.

Any other questions?

15
Child Support Issues / If Grandma is paying for this then....
« on: Apr 25, 2006, 10:10:12 AM »
there should be no spliting the cost of this day care place.

I would make sure you put wording in there for the future though.  Make sure it states that you will not split this one as long as Grandma pays and all costs must be R&C.

Now I don't know the age of your daughter but this could be considered PreSchool!!!!   I stated that above.  That would justify the higher price.

16
as for custody. What does the current orders say? Do you share or do you have or what?  Usually you need to be resident of new state for certain length of time to file papers.  What is it in her state?

She can say that this day care is actually a preschool since child will be learning stuff.  I hate to say it but this may be a losing battle for you.  I myself feel that if child is learning then it is good.  And since grandma is paying for it that is her choice to do.  I would make sure she doesn't try to say she is have you reimburse her for 1/2.  Make sure court knows grandma is paying, not BM.

keep us posted.

17
Child Support Issues / You need to reread her post......
« on: Apr 12, 2006, 07:53:32 PM »
the NCP in this case is VOLUNTARILY not working a job to her earning potential and VOLUNTARILY not working a full week and making what she can to support herself and her children.  This NCP has been doing everything possible to get out of paying any CS at all.

Cathy briefly described the situation to another poster above but if you new the facts you would know that the NCP does not see the children at all and the other child is very close to be an adult if not already.

This is not about having more children and them being equally taken care. We have had that conversation on this board already.  And putting the money in an account for them or their medical bills is not possible in this case.  

There is no financial calamity in this situation, it is the NCP willingly putting herself in this financial situation in order to not pay for her children.

18
I'm talking about the ones who don't care about the well being of their children.  And there are more out there than the minority.  They don't come to boards like this b/c they know the good NCPs will ream them a new one.

There are alot of NCPs who don't pay their CS.  Mine in particular. But I am lucky enough to make good enough money that it doesn't matter.  Someday I may go after him but right now I don't give it another thought.  I know many have to pay large amounts that aren't fair. I stated that.  However, I feel that my X's amount is fair.  It won't break him like the large amounts have broke others.  

The ones I am talking about in my statements are the ones who refuse to work so they don't have to pay or get cash jobs to avoid paying or garnishment or quit their job whenever the garnishment comes.  And because of this many CPs struggle to support their children when the small amount (and it usually is small b/c the NCP doesn't make much an hr b/c the NCP doesn't keep jobs long enough to make decent money) they are supposed to get would help out alot.

And not all NCPs who don't pay and avoid are men. Many are also women and they fall in the same boat as those I am talking about here.

I have been on both sides of the fence. When I was married to X I helped pay that CS for the SKs and didn't have a problem with it. I wrote the check most of the time. And I felt his CS was fair. It wasn't a huge amount, it was $80 a week. And I helped pay 1/2 the day care and feed them when at my house every other weekend. Too bad X didn't feel he needed to continue doing that. And b/c of it he owes his first X over $10K and still avoids paying her. And he owes me too.  It isn't worth going after him b/c he doesn't care. He will spend his time in jail only to get out and do it again. He has done it before.

Nothing I say here is towards any of those who are good parents and who struggle to pay and be with their children. I never pointed to anyone here in my statements.

19
Child Support Issues / Ok...
« on: Mar 19, 2006, 06:31:16 PM »
you still didn't answer the question as to how to make it work without order of CS for both parents to support their children.  

You can debate the law and what is constitutional or not and what the gov't should tell the courts or not but it doesn't resolve the issue at hand.

If you don't think the current system is right, what do you think would be better?

20
Child Support Issues / Ok I understand what you are saying...
« on: Mar 19, 2006, 10:41:08 AM »
however, how do you think this should all be handled?  Once parents get divorced how should it be decided that the children are taken care of?

I know the joint is the ideal but in many cases (mine and cinb's for 2) that is not possible.  So then what do you do?  Is it fair for children to live in poverty b/c one parent decides he/she doesn't have any responsiblity and the other parent must struggle to do it all?  It is not the child's fault the parents got divorced!!!! In an ideal world everyone would stay married and never divorce but unfortunately that is not today's world.

So it may not be in the constitution, but alot of laws etc are not in the constitution either.  We can't let our children fall through the cracks b/c they aren't protected in the constitution. When it was written, divorce was a horrible thing and hardly happened.  


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