Messages

Yes, they will appeal.

And then to think that this judge was appointed to be on the Georgia State Child Support Advisory Board a few years ago.

Kent!

Document, document, document.

Check if you are in a one-party state and wear a voice recorder.
Ask for equal time in an email or regular mail and let her reply in writing that you can't have your daughter.

Of course (but this is a risky avenue) since there is no order you have as much right to your daughter as she does. Once you have her you are under no obligation to give her back to her mother - since there is no court order. I am surprised your attorney has not informed you of this yet.

Godd luck.

GAL's are generally attorneys with no psychological education or qualifiaction whatsoever.
Ask for a custody evaluation by a psychologist, and ask to choose the psychologist. And then make sure you find a good one. It will cost anywhere from $ 3,000.00 to $ 6,000.00, but ask the cost to be split. It is well worth it.

The first GAL in my case wanted to take my son out of my stable home and give him to his mother who was an admitted stripper turned prostitute who took our son with her to the homes of her customers, and who he repeatedly caught lying. (I suspect she paid him with more than just money).
I insisted on a custody eval, and suddenly the recommendation turned around 100%.

Kent!

A couple with 2 kids divorces. They write their own custody order, which specifically spells out that the 2 children will live with their mother and that their father will pay child support. Should the children come to live with their father, then child support is automatically turned around and the mother will pay child support.

Well, within 2 months the mother kicks the kids to the curb, and they come and live with dad. Dad has them enrolled in school untul they're out of high school, is listed as primary on all school and medical documents, but mom doesn't pay child support.

Fast forward in time....

The kids are now 30 and 32 years old. Mom sues for back child support and asks for $ 50,000.00

Dad refuses to pay, and it goes to court. The judge (Coweta County, GA) refuses to take the custody order into evidence, only listens to what the mom says, and orders dad to pay $ 180,000.00 in back child support.

And no, I'm not trying to pull a fast one on you guys. This actually happened last Friday in Coweta County, GA to a friend of my wife.

I still can't believe it.

Kent!

Hey Sly,

Good to hear you're doing well!
Same thing here, things are going well, my son is living with me full time now. And got two others with my current wife.
In addition I'm attending GA Tech and will have my MBA in a few months. WOOHOO!!! (looks like I'm getting smart in my old days... LOL)

Kent!

YOUR lawyer drew op paperwork giving you standard visitation?!?!?!?

It's time you have a serious talk with your lawyer, and likely you'll need to find a new one. This one is obviously looking for the easy way out, and NOT your (and your daughter's) best interest.

Keep in mind: When you go to court or write an agreement, you ASK for the world, and you SETTLE for what you want.

What you want (or at least what I believe is reasonable in your situation) is that you SETTLE for shared physical custody, and one of you having sole legal. In addition, your custody order needs to say that whoever moves out of state (or even out of the county) will automatically relinguish custody to the other parent. It will not quite work that way, as you would need to go back to court to have the custody actually changed, but if it's already in writing, it helps your chances.

Good luck!

Kent!

No, hte letter would not hold up in court. However, if you can track her down, she may be willing to testify on your behalf.

It would be great is she fears for SD's safety and reports them to CPS. even if CPS finds it to be unfounded, a report is a report...

Kent!

Hi 5!

Sorry to hear what you're going through!

As the other replies said, document, document, and document. Get the police report of her arrest, and also document what she broke and how much the value is. Shows that he's cooperative by not sueing her for the things she broke.

Someone could always report her for the reduced food, especially to the police at a time that the babysitter is there. Claim the baby has been screaming non-stop because she's not being fed.... Wouldn't be you of course.... ;)

Good luck!

Kent!

Reading your post, I can tell that you are slightly confused.

When "the system" is talking about staying involved with your children, it only means that you must stay involved in paying your child support. The ones who cop-out - i.e. refuse to pay or, as in most cases, just don't have the means to pay - are "not involved" and will go to jail.

You also believe that judges are here to adhere to the Constitution. Well, yes, in all areas - except for Family Law. Since Family Law is a so-called "soft area", judges are not held accountable for their decisions, hence you will find the biggest ego trippers will become family law judges, and rule as if they're better than God.

It appears you also believe that "the system" is in place to protect the best interest of the child. Wrong again - child support brings federal grants, so the more child support is ordered, the more federal grants are received by "the system". And "the system" is money hungry.

But there is hope.
You cannot beat the system, but you can use it to your advantage.

1. If you're not a threat to the children, then nobody can keep you from moving close to your child - or, as I know one person did, buy the house right next to your ex's.

2. If coaches get more time with your child than you do, become a coach yourself. Or just an assistant coach on your child's team.

3. Become an active PTA member at your child's school. Meet with the teachers.

It won't help you in the short run.
But your daughter will see that YOU are acting in her best interest, and in many states, at age 14 she can choose where she wants to live.

And just in case you're the one who moved away - in that situation I'm not really receptive to your complaints.

Kent!

Dutch research under 800 intact families

Most fathers have a private conversation with their son or daughter living in their home at least twice per week. One in six children says they never talk one-on-one with their father. 2 percent of fathers say they never have a personal conversation with their child.
 
This is reported in the Christmas Edition of the KRO Magazine that initiated the research with 800 fathers and children.
The fathers told the researchers that their children talk to them about anything, but that sexuality and emotions are subjects they rather discuss with their mother. The children however said that the topic of conversation generally doesn't surpass school performance and practical issues.

According to psychiatrist Bram Bakker, involved in the educational tv-show "Because I say so", the research shows that fathers are very involved in the well-being of their children. It seems logic that 79% of fathers is proud of being a father, but that 71% of the children says to be proud of their father is marked as "very encouraging". Fathers as well as children feel that fathers are essential and indispensable to raise children.



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