Topics

Facts:
Have a 12 year old daughter from brief encounter with BM, found out 2 years ago, agreed to Back Support of $7000 plus braces. 7K is being paid over 24 months plus monthly support and will be paid in full by OCT 04. Just had Tax Return intercepted inspite of all retro payments being made on time and in full, another story however. Order is from Colorado, BM and Daughter live in Illinois.

 BM is complaining that Braces are wanted (but not medically necessary, wants teeth fixed before future class pics) and threatening a trip back to court to force the braces issue. I need some financial breathing room (post OCT if possible. No time deadline was specified in Order for braces, just that I would provide them, something I have no problem with. BM knows how to raise cain with the CSE sytem, very adept at causing much drama.

 BM has lots of time on hand, (no job necessary)seeing she is getting my check plus another from someone else for different child, food stamps, WIC, SSI, EITC Sec. 8 Apartment and who knows what else.

Questions:
 1) Does the absence of specific time line mean the braces are to be made available on BM demands, even if not medically necessary?

 2)Can I ask that BM take Daughter to Orthodontist compatible with my insurance or can BM "demand" that I go where its convenient for her?

3) Can Court send Daughter to any Orthodontist for treatment at any cost and send me the bill?

4) How do I defend myself against BM's drama claiming I am not being cooperative inspite of complying with the Support Order? Can I simply ask for a few more months to get it set up?
Thanks Soc, your comments are greatly appreciated by all!

1) The Court of Placer county, CA has just Awarded the X and children
    $2234.00 per month, ($1694 cs, and $540 ss) my monthly wage is
    $5636.  after tax it is $4236, this is more than 50%, what can I do.

2) When I get remarried can the court award her more? Will new wifes income be a factor.

Hi, I live in Virginia, my custody case will be in Virginia too. This could be a long topic so I will try to make it as brief as I can.

In September of 2002 I got a letter from Child Enforcement stating that I have a daughter, who at the time was 5. In October I took a DNA test which proved positive 99.9%. So, on November the 13th 2002 I met my daughter for the first time. Since then there have been nothing but problems from her mother.

That day me an my daughters mom agreed on visitation. She said that I could get her every weekend, well I know that I never got it in writing so that was my mistake. Right off it was every other weekend. Anyway, my daughter took to me really fast, calling me daddy right off and saying she loved me.

My daughter never wanted to go home when she came to visit me, I would practically have to drag her out of the house. The worst time was when I took her home and as I was about to leave she grabbed my legs and begged me not to leave, crying and screaming. I live almost 2 hours away from her, it was a horrible trip home that day. After that things changed.

The next time I went to get her was Christmas day, her mom was invited to come up at my parents request. My daughter acted funny, like she was ignoring me. I took them back home after a few hours. Me an her mom agreed to me getting my daughter a couple days later for about 4 days, well when I got there to pick her up she started crying and screaming to stay with her mom, she put her in my vehicle and I just drove off with her screaming, a mile down the road she quieted down an started singing an playing.

The next time I went to get her she did the same thing again, but that time her mom told her she didn't have to go with me and let her stay at home. For the next few weeks I had to go to her place an visit with her for a few hours a night. Then she started coming with me again. I thought that it was just the shock that settled in about me that made her act that way.

Well, the next few months things were off an on like that. I would call and find out what time to go get her and her mom would tell me if she wanted to come or not. One time she had my daughter get on the phone to tell me she didn't want to come, when she got on she said her nanna said she didn't have to come with me, her nanna being her grandmother.

Now I know for a fact that her nanna turned my daughters mom against her own dad when she was growing up, she doesn't even speak to him now. I feel that my daughters mom and her mom are turning my daughter against me now. Not only that, my daughters mom has a new boyfriend since July of 2003, when I have my daughter with me she kisses an hugs me all the time, but when I take her home she don't even want to hug me bye, but when she leaves she hugs an kisses her moms boyfriend an says she loves him.

I feel as if they have succeeded in starting to turn her, like she is doing stuff like that to hurt me. I try to talk to her about it an she just ignores me an tries to change the subject. All of this is just the tip of the iceberg.

Now let me explain the medical side of this case. I found out that when my daughter was born she had really bad ear infections, to were she could not hear or speak. Her mom took her to a doctor and he told her he could not do anything for my daughter. My daughters mom waited 4 1/2 years to get a 2nd opinion, then that doctor put tubes in her ears right before her 5th birthday.

My daughter now speaks like someone who is deaf, with a slur. December 2002 my daughter caught pnuemonia, I almost lost her right after meeting her cause her mom was dressing her in thin clothes. Then in March 2003 she caught the flu and I bout lost her again. In May 2003 she had a tube removed from her right ear, her mom never called to tell me about this operation, I found out 4 days later when I called to find out when to pick her up.

In August 2003 I picked my daughter up so she could spend a week with me. 4 days later she started screaming and crying that her ear was hurting really bad, I was at my sisters house close to her moms when this happened, she said she wanted to go home to her mom so I took her an she took her to the hospital. Later I found out she had a blister on her ear drum an then I found out that earlier that summer she had had a ruptured ear drum, which her mom never bothered to tell me about.

In November 2003 I talked with her mom on the phone, I asked her if she had gotten my daughter a flu shot. Her responce was, and I qoute "Why? She's not sick, she doesn't have the flu!", and she said it like I was an ass for asking, sorry for the french. Anyone, accept for her I guess, knows that you get a flu shot before you get sick, otherwise its no good.

Now for the way she is handling my daughter. In December 2002 I took my daughter home, the same day she screamed an grabbed my legs begging me not to leave, well me and my daughter was told to go in the other room to play an stuff before I had to go, so we did. Her mom shut the door, she had some friends in there with her, well my daughter went an opened the door a few minutes later and smoked rolled right into the room we was in, it was pot. Her mom smoked it an then as I left she left to, drove off with my daughter while she was stoned.

Since then she has made it apparent that she has to smoke it before going over to her moms house because of the way her mom is. Then in March 2003 her friend needed a place to stay for a few weeks, she in turn brought her boyfriend who was an excon, they all slept in the same bed with my daughter an her mom. In December 2002 I bought my daughter a calling card so she could call me whenever she wanted, her mom only let her call once and that was after I begged her many times to let her call me.

Since then my daughter hasn't called me cause her mom won't let her. Then when I tell her I am gonna call to talk to my daughter she is never there or my daughter is always gone with her nanna. Her boyfriend that is living with her now is an excon from Ohio. She is now working nights and she leaves my daughter home alone with him so he is the one that puts her to bed at night, and god knows what else he is doing.

I have much more information that I have learned since November 2002, but I feel I have said enough about what is going on. I am going to court for custody of my daughter next month, June 1st. I am disabled from the military and filing for ssi and veterans compensation. I have no money for a lawyer, and I went to legal aid for help. Legal aid told me in January 2003 that I should wait atleast a year an get to know my daughter an write down everything her mom does in a journal.

They also said that if an when she gets a lawyer then they would supply me with one. She went to legal aid to get a lawyer herself and they turned her down for conflict of interests because I have already talked to them about this, but they sent her to the Bar Association an they gave her a lawyer. Now legal aid says that they can't help me.

After you read all of this can you just give me any kind of help as to what to do now since I only have 2 weeks before court, what can I do to ensure I gain custody?

Can I sue her for emotional damages for not telling me about my daughter?

I have called social services every week for the past year to get them to look in on her, when they finally did they called her first, now you tell me, if you had pot an stuff would you leave stuff laying around knowing someone was coming?

Is there anything I can do about that?

I am so sorry that this was so long, please forgive me but I have little time left for short notes. If you have any ideas or anything that can help me please let me know.

Thank for your paitence,
James

I'll try this again.....Been away forum for a while until I received a T.O.P. notice from the IRS claiming they were going to withhold my tax return for being"delinquent". I am the father of a 13 year old daughter that resulted from a brief encounter w/BM, both of whom reside in Illinois, Colorado is where Support Order and Paternity were established. Monthly support was set, I also agreed to pay back support for the 11 years BM never told me about daughter.
             

I have paid the Monthly Support and the "arrearage" (to be paid back over 24 months) for the last 18 months, on time. Kinda irked that the CSE instigated the TOP when I was paying on time and will cause my spouse's portion of the return to be further withheld until Injured Spouse paperwork can be filed, this will delay the return for 6 months minimum.  In 6 months the "arrearage" (the back support I agreed to pay) will be Paid in full.    
    Questions:
    1) Why is CSE instigating a T.O.P. on my return when I have been paying on time an in complience with the Support Order?
    2) Why is both CO AND IL coming after me? Matching funds from Uncle Sam?
    3) Is there a distinction between "Back Support" and "Arrearage" and "delinquency"? It seem to me that a NCP who is not paying to comply with a Support Order would be treated diffrerently than someone who voluntarily pays support before paternity was established..Thoughts?
    BTW After dealing with the CSE, I am considering a JD, any good Bay Area Law Schools???

Dear Soc,
 I am trying to help the father of my niece and nephew gain custody. Their mother was found to be a severe bi-polar at 13 years old.  We have had county CSB involved because she abuses and neglacts the kids, and they haven't even made her stick to the case plan of getting medicated and parenting classes                                                                                         The abuse is so bad when I pick her up for a visit The first thing she says to me" Please make my mommy stop hitting me"  Her father has been behind in CS, he isn't the smartest person nor the most responsible person but I just know the kids would be better off with him, atleast they would get to eat and not be beaten and told they are hated.
      I have hit a wall here, I am unable to care for the kids full time. Their father doesn't have money for a lawyer, he gets by paycheck to paycheck.
  My question to you, knowing it is in the best interest of the kids, how can he get cutody without a lawyer? We live in Ohio and have been told that we live in a "mother's" state.  I feel for these kids, it's almost like nobody cares what happens to them and I really need to help them grow up to be happy healthy children, they deserve it.

Original Oct 1998 order states NCP and CP equally share medical, etc. expenses.

After being served in 2002, CP requested expenses be reimbursed and in her letter itemized upwards of 40 medical expenses dating back to pre-divorce (Nov 1997), through May 2002 that were unknown to NCP.

There were 2 hearings, one in August 2002 and one in Dec 2002 of which no judgement was made in regards to this matter and the new order made no reference to medical, etc. responsibilities.

Some time ago you responded to a question I had about NCP's responsibilty to CP's request for expenses and advised NCP pay it.

After review, (subtracting CP's med. arrears to NCP and med. $ previousely payed by NCP) a reimbursement was made for a figure less then, but believed to be more accurate then CP's request.

CP responded by letter, demanding reciepts and accepting the check as "partial payment". On cashing the check, CP changed the front, "memo" portion of the check from "MEDICAL REIMBURSEMENT" by adding  to it "partial payment" (easily discernable as different writter)

NCP pays monthly for med. insurance. The 1998 order states "The husband shall continue to maintain and be responsible for the health insurance on behalf of the minor child through his place of employment. The parties shall equally divide all..."  that has never been shared.

Q: 1) What is NCP's responsibilty to concede to CP's demand of providing? (most of which are still in our file with our previous atty. who will not release it, (Pro. Ethics & Conduct Board found no fault with atty.)

Q: 2) Am I mistaken to believe that the change made to the check is somehow not right? And if I am correct, how so?

Q: 3) What, if any responsibilty should CP have to insurance payments made for child?

I this question in one of the forums you answered back:

First, are you aware that the court can't grant arrears prior to the date of filing of the petition?

1. Does this apply in all states?

My reason for asking this question is that before my hubby went into mediation in April of 2002, he was giving BM $200.00 a month in CS.  During mediation he was told by the mediator that he had to pay BM backpay from the time the child was born.  And the mediator told him that the judge would make him pay the whole amount if he was to take it to the judge because they had settled on like half of what the BM's lawyer figured out.  So, hubby was ordered by the mediator to pay an extra $70.00 a month for the backpay until the whole amount was paid to BM.

2. If this is true for all states, is there anything that can be done about this situation now?

*~Mandi~*

Background info. right of first refusal was put into custody papers so dad could ensure mom didn't take kids to questionable babysitters. Dad has now remarried to me and exwife threatens right of first refusal. Custody is joint with dad having 60%. We live in Oklahoma, dad has four kids and I have four kids. The children love it when all eight are together and hate it when the four have to go to their moms when it's not her turn.
1. When dad works late and the kids are with me more than three hours without their dad present can exwife use right of first refusal to take kids from this home?
2. Dad has a business trip on "his days", must we offer right of first refusal to ex wife?
3. Doesn't this right of first refusal have to deal with babysitters and third parties? Is a step parent a third party?

Kate has a six year old child.  Kate is engaged to Mike, who is not the biological father of the child.  Mike and Kate have cohabitated for about four years, and Mike is the only father-figure the child has known.

Kate's mother and stepfather babysat the child Saturday for the day, while Kate and Mike were at work.  Through some unknown chain of events, Kate's mother and stepfather called Kate Saturday around 3pm saying they would not return the child to Kate at the agreed-upon time of 4:30.  They also told her not to call police or there would be problems.

Kate called the police anyway and had them meet her at Kate's mother & stepfather's house at 4:30.  The child was returned to Kate when they arrived home around 5pm.  Kate went downtown today (Monday) and filed a civil protection order against her mother and stepfather.  They should be served sometime this week.

Kate was 18 and the biological father was 15 when the child was conceived.  This occurred close to seven years ago and Kate has had no contact with the bio father, who pays no child support.  Now, Kate's mother and stepfather are threatening to get in contact with the bio father and press charges for statutory rape.  They have blackmailed her with this threat in the past.

In Ohio, the best they could hope for is unlawful contact w/minor (M-1), and even then, the charge has to be brought forward within a year of discovery, so in essence they've already lost.  It's unknown if they know that yet, but now Kate's mother and stepfather are calling Mike, also threatening to sue for grandparent rights to visit the six year old.  Kate and Mike never want to see or speak to Kate's mother and stepfather again.  

Kate's mother and stepfather basically have unlimited financial resources.  However, they've had some tax problems so they have some property in another state that's in Kate's name, I guess to hide assets.  They are adept at scamming the system and Kate and Mike are afraid that they might win a case for visitation since they have tons of cash.

There's more to it, but that's about all I know and I think all the relevent stuff is there.  

QUESTIONS:
1.  What kind of case would Kate's mother have in Ohio to get grandparent rights?

2.  Would Kate's stepfather have any grandparent rights at all?

3.  What would be a good defense for Kate to use in court?

4.  Any other evil tactics or suggestions for Kate and Mike?

THANK YOU so much for your input!!

Hi Soc,

My son filed a complaint against the GAL who was involved in his case.  He received a finding today on his complaint.  The GAL Committee consisted of several judges, a commissioner, an attorney, and the GAL Coordinator.  Here is what it said:

We have concluded the following portions of your complaint are founded:

1.  It does appear that Mr. X did not consistently maintain an appearance of neutrality, as is required of a GAL.
2.  There was a concern with Mr. X sharing confidential information among the parties and individuals who were not parties.
3.  Mr. X appears to have provided advise to both parties that was outside the scope of his GAL duties and subsequently used the parties actions in reliance of such advise to their detriment.

Our questions follow:

1.  Based upon that finding would we stand a chance of not paying him for his last bill where he did the majority of his misconduct?
2.  Based on the finding, what are the chances of getting the last GAL report expunged from the record?
3.  Based on the finding, would we be able to bring a TORT against the GAL in question?

Thanks for all you do for people

Granny

The General Board thought I should post this question here:

I'm getting married in September.  I live in WI

Both of us are divorced. I have 3 kids. He's also got 3. 2 with one mother, 1 with another.

I'm coming into this marriage owning the home I've lived in for 12 years. If I were to die, I would want my ex-husband to move into the house and continue to raise our children in the home they've grown up in. The house should go to them. (fiance totally agrees).

If we were to divorce I would want to retain the home for my children. I am also an artist and have a lot of artwork that has some value. My ex and I still have mutual funds in a joint account. Per our divorce agreement, half of those are mine also.

In Wisconsin when we marry all possessions become equally both of ours.

1. Should we die, how do I keep his children from having any rights to any of the possessions I've owned prior to our marriage? These things are for my own children.

2. Should he lose his job and fall behind on child support. How do I protect my own finaces/possessions from any possibility of being subject to any consequences?

3. Should we divorce,  how do I preserve my home, artwork, mutual funds from being divided between us?

4. How would you suggest I solidify my wish to have my ex-husband take possession of my house (to be owned by the children) in the event of my death. (yup..new hubby is out on the street).

Thanks.
 

Dear socrateaser,

Here are the facts of our case. My 2 children , 10 have been placed in my custody via dcfs. Mom left the children alone for 4 days and was given a service plan which she failed to comply to. She also tested positive for meth and cannibas. This resulted in the children being placed in my custody pending the outcome of the state's (IL) against mom. Mom is adament that she never did drugs that it was her medication that caused the positive drug test although she did admit to  doing it once, but didn't know what it was and on a second occasion accidentaly drank it from someones coffee. She readily admits to only smoking pot to help her sleep. Her 15 year old daught wrote a letter to the judge telling him that she refused to go back home with mom because she is tired of having to be the adult in the house and take care of everyone and not having food, clothes, etc.. Mom has appealed her case (I beleive this failed) among other things. We do have a great atty. Mom recieves 1 supervised visit a week and is continually making things very difficult. Last week she called dcfs on us for neglect which was unfounded, she undermines our athority to the children, etc...  
We were in the process of filing for custody before this incident due to the following; Each child had missed over 35 days of school in one year and both were failing, the mother is constantly moving and changing jobs/shcools/homes,  neglect of feeding, clothing, etc...

My question is this.  The judge that is hearing the states case against her could give us custody if he chose to do so, correct? What is the likelyhood of this?  Mom is also facing criminal charges from the states atty for neglect. How can the outcome of those charges affect us? We have already filed for custody in civil court. If the judge does not give us custody via dcfs is there anything we can do to keep the children from going home while we fight for custody in civil court? What does our civil case look like to you?

Thank you for your input,

Melinda Glenn

At the time of divorce, which was 10 years ago, court order listed debts that each party was to pay. This was spelled out very clearly in the court order.
I paid the ones assigned to me. As time passed I began to get bills for the one on x's list.  I would send copy of court order with explanation. This would be repeated over time. One debtor was very insistant, turning over to bill collector. I sent copy of court order. Debt was sold to yet another collector, this has happened 3 or 4 times. At one point my attorney sent letter stating all matters  should be sent to him that he considered what was happening was harressment. Nothing happened for a few years. Now comes another letter, x has not paid the bill and  the account has been sold once again. And they are threating once again. What to do? I cannot afford to get an attorney involved again.
Thanks in advance.

Update on circumstances:

My ex has children one more night than me in custody arrangement.

Also I am limited to EOW and a weeknight eow.

Change of circumstances:

We went to court in January 2004 and child support was decided
on a calculation.  She worked from October 1, 2004 until she
received her first child support check February 1, '04.
She was making 40,000 a year and they credited this in the
amount of $100 a week less child support because she was
employed.  Now I want to know is......






Now my ex has been "fired" from her job...(all too convenient if you
ask me), nontheless, that is the fact.

1.  Will the fact that my ex has been fired from her job, constitute a
"change of circumstance"?

2.  If so, will this change the calculation that they did a month ago?

3.  Is there any way I could find out if she was fired or quit,,or does
this matter..?  (Really curious)  

4. Will they recalculate the formula, because she now will not have
that income.?

5.  Is there such a thing as imputing that salary she made, into
a calculation that she is able to make this amount of money?

6.  Will this change my support payments..I was credited with a
$100 a week because she worked...now what?

Background:  I WAS the NCP of a 6yo daughter.  As of Friday, I have temporary custody, and a TRO.  This is due to 3 fires at the Mother's hosue in the last week (house has been foreclosed, and she is being evicted.)  Judge agreed child is in danger!  Hearing is Friday morning.  

Now, questions:

1.  We have avoided taking Mother's phone calls during this time; should we let daughter talk to her Mom, or not?

2.  I have been told hearing Friday is basically a formality, unless she can prove it was done in error.  Correct?

3.  Now, the biggie:  BM has threatened to bring up all sorts of things from our past, regarding sexual situations, use of sex toys, etc.  Can this be brought up in court, or is it a non-issue?  I do not deny a highly charged sex life in our short marriage, but she was a willing participant.  Will the judge take any of this into consideration?  

4.  Mother is now in the process of moving in with her Mother and Step-Father.  We have a stable homelife, and have records to prove we have had daughter the majority of the time for the past 3 years.  What, in your opinion, are my chances of making me the permanent custodial parent?  

Thanks, in advance, for your advice!  I am really torn right now, and just want to be sure my daughter is safe!  

Thanks Soc for responding.

Deleted by author

Soc,
 child support that is owed to the State of California for arrears (bm was assigned to welfare)

 1. can it be discharged in bankruptcy in California.

 I was looking at : Bankruptcy Section 523(a)(5) and was unsure.
 
thank you

In CO said......"The defendant shall pay child suport to the plaintiff pursuant to NY state CS standards Act Guidelines equal to 25% of his gross income, less FICA and NYC income tax plus an additional $300, half of which shall be considered maintence and the half of which shall be considered child support for tax purposes"  OK this is what I dont get, is it half of the $300? or half of the 25% and the $300?
  Thank You for your help

The following is a stipulated agreement I drew up between my ex and myself, and that we have both signed and notarized. I would appreciate your critique of it, as I had my doubts about sending them back to their father's due to his lack of care (educational and medical) in the 3 years he had physical custody and I tried to cover all basis. Please be honest as to how you think the court would view this. I haven't filed it yet.

IN THE CIRCUIT COURT OF MXXXXX COUNTY
AT PXXXXX


RXXXXX KXXXX MXXXXXX,
Petitioner

Vs. Cause No. CV000-000DR

TXXXX DXXXXX MXXXXXX,
Respondent



STIPULATED AGREEMENT TO MODIFY EXISTING CUSTODY ORDER

Rxxxxxx Kxxxx Mxxxxxx, Petitioner, and Txxxx Dxxxxxx Mxxxxxx, Respondent, do hereby stipulate by and between them the following items:
1.) That on September 2, 2002, the Superior Court of Worth County Georgia issued a Final Judgment and Decree of Divorce between the above mentioned parties which awarded the parties joint legal custody and awarded the Petitioner sole physical custody of the parties minor children Kxxxxxx Exxxxxxx Nxxxxxx Mxxxxxx, Txxxxx Kxxxxx Mxxxxxx, and Bxxxxxxx Axxxxxxxxxx Mxxxxxx,
2.) That on May 29, 2003, the parties entered into an agreement whereby the minor children Kxxxxxx, Txxxxx, and Bxxxxxxx would reside with the Respondent until June 1, 2004 and that the parties would alternate physical custody of the minor children yearly thereafter;
3.) That the minor children Txxxxx and Bxxxxxxx wish to return to live with the Petitioner in Txxxxx, Georgia before June 1, 2004;
4.) That the minor child Kxxxxxx wishes to remain with the Respondent and will return to Petitioner before the beginning of the 2004-2005 school term;
5.) That the Petitioner and Respondent agree to this split custody arrangement, contingent upon the following conditions:
a. That Txxxxx and Bxxxxxxx shall uphold the same educational standard that the Respondent has worked diligently to achieve for the children in the time that they have been in her physical custody;
b. That the Petitioner shall be directly involved with the children's education which shall include, but not be limited to, attending scheduled parent/teacher conferences with the children's teachers, facilitating the children's learning by helping them with schoolwork and/or homework when necessary, by taking appropriate action if the children's academic grades begin to fall below acceptable levels, by keeping the Respondent informed of any and all education problems arising with the children, and by keeping the Respondent informed of any meetings between the school staff and the Petitioner.
c. That the Petitioner shall continue with the children's current medication schedule prescribed by a licensed physician, and shall promptly attend to any arising medical needs the children incur.
d. That the Petitioner shall enroll the minor child Txxxxx in a mental health treating facility as soon as possible. Petitioner shall continue with Txxxxx's current psychiatric medications prescribed by a licensed psychiatrist and shall not arbitrarily discontinue such medication except upon the advice and direction of a psychiatrist licensed to practice in the state of Georgia.
e. That the Petitioner shall have the children enrolled in school in Worth County, Georgia no later than Friday, January 23, 2004.
f. That the Petitioner shall schedule dental appointments for Txxxxx and Bxxxxxx with a licensed dental professional, at that professional's earliest possible convenience, as Txxxxx is scheduled to have a dental filling on March 18, 2004 and Bxxxxxx is scheduled to have her yearly checkup on that same day at Mid Missouri Dental Clinic in Columbia, Missouri.
g. That should any dental problems arise before the newly scheduled appointment, the Petitioner shall take due diligence to immediately find a dentist to take care of any emergent needs of the children.
h. That the Petitioner shall list the Respondent on any and all school and medical records as the mother of the children, and shall give school officials and medical personnel any verbal or written permission required by them that allows the Respondent to speak with such school officials or medical providers and/or receive copies of records unimpeded and without having to seek further permission of the Petitioner.
i. That the Petitioner should realize that the parties were awarded joint legal custody of the children, and as such the Respondent shall be apprised of any and all situations arising in regards to the areas of medical, dental, education, and religion when it concerns the children, and that the Respondent has the legal right to be involved in any decisions affecting the health or welfare of the minor children in these areas.
j. That the Petitioner shall maintain the children's hair in an appropriate manner, and shall make sure that the children are clean and properly groomed for school each day.
k. That the Petitioner shall not allow anyone in his home to issue corporal punishment to the minor children except for the Petitioner and his wife, and that such corporal punishment shall be limited to the buttocks area only. Striking the children in any other area may be seen as child abuse.
l. The Petitioner agrees that there will be no illegal substance use in his home by anyone at anytime. If the Respondent learns of someone using illegal drugs in the Petitioner's home, this shall be grounds for an emergency custody hearing and permanent physical placement of the children with the Respondent.
m. The Petitioner acknowledges that the Respondent shall be in touch with the children's schoolteachers on a regular basis, both by phone and through E-mail. Any concerns relayed to the Respondent by the teachers shall be discussed with the petitioner immediately, and action taken on behalf of the Petitioner to remedy such concerns. If, however, there are continued concerns of educational or physical neglect, then this shall also be grounds for an emergency custody hearing, and permanent physical placement of the children with the Respondent.
6.) The Petitioner and Respondent agree that should the Petitioner not follow the above stipulations that it will constitute a prima facia showing of a change of circumstances substantial enough to constitute a change in physical and legal custody to the Respondent.
7.) The Petitioner agrees that should the Respondent file in any Court seeking a modification of custody based on the Petitioner being unable or unwilling to follow the above stipulations, that the appropriate court with jurisdiction shall make a determination of custody based on the merits, and what is in the best interest of the children.
8.) That the provisions of the previous stipulated agreement between the parties dated May 29, 2003 shall remain in full force and effect so long as both parties adhere to the stipulations set forth within this document.
9.) Both parties agree that the health and welfare of the children is first and foremost in their minds. This document is based not only on the wishes of the children, but also on the willingness of the parties to work together to facilitate a meaningful relationship between both parents and the children. The parties realize that sometimes situations manifest that they have no control over and agree to work with each other to come to an amicable arrangement that suits the needs of both the children and the parties, but puts our children's best interest in the forefront at all times.
10.) This document encompasses any and all verbal agreements between the parties, and they state that all issues and paragraphs are mutually agreed upon and this document is signed of their own free will, without coercion.


_________________ _______________________
R. K. M., Petitioner T. D. M., respondent




STATE OF MISSOURI )
)ss
COUNTY OF MXXXXX )


NOW on this _______day of _______________, 2004, before me personally appeared Txxxxx Dxxxxxx Mxxxxxx, Respondent herein, and Rxxxxxx Kxxxx Mxxxxxx, Petitioner herein, and having been first duly sworn upon their oath they state that they executed the above STIPULATED AGREEMENT TO MODIFY EXISTING CUSTODY ORDER as their own free act and deed and that all matters set forth herein are true according to their best information and belief.

IN TESTIMONY WHEREOF, I have hereunto set my hand and affixed my official seal the day and year above first written.

_______________________________
Notary Public


**I know there are a lot of provisions placed on my ex in this, but they are in place because of things that happened when all 3 children were in his care that I do not want to see happening again... and if it does, I wanted legal recourse to seek immediate physical custody.

On 11/4/03 father was awarded full sole and physical custody.  A visitation sched was to be fashioned by both parties...if no agreement, then court would fashion one.  No agreement yet between parties.  Child still resides with mother, father has kept old visitations until legal changes to be made.
Problem:
Father is at school to pick up child for 1st 1/2 of xmas vacation...Ex is there protesting. Says it is kidnapping.
We have no leagal docs except for court minutes stating he has full custody.  

1. Can court minutes be used as "legal doc"? to give to police as proof of custody?

Thanks you I will be waiting.