Messages

I agree with Davy.  If the process has been started in court, it is absolutely a very bad idea for Dad to show up and remove the children.  It is not just a matter of Mom having "status quo", the children are now residents of another state.  While that state won't have jurisdiction, you cannot simply show up and remove them from that state and take them  across state lines.  Opens the door for a whole lot of problems if done. Dad unfortunately has to rely on the court system and the process.

ninashkas-
I am sorry for what you have faced.  You may want to consider counseling to help you work through the feelings you may have.  Legally, and especially since you are an adult, your "mother" is in no way responsible for you emotionally and more specfically, financially.   You may want to start your own post to get responses to help you. 

Ocean,
If you go back to the original post, there was a proven sexual misconduct by the father which complicates this case very much. I believe what you are saying would be standard had that not occured. 

95% based on your assumption she didn't have sex with any other guy during those weeks. Since you know she has been with other men, please for your sake, don't assume anything. There are at least two other men you know of, not to mention ones you possibly don't know of. In reality, that 95% is probably much lower.  I know part of you wants to be very excited about this, but until DNA testing has been done and you are confirmed the father, you should be taking an analytical approach to this and not an emotional one (I know, harder to say than do), but for your own peace of mind, it is best not to emotionally attach yet.

You have gotten alot of great advice, the most important being, until the baby is born and you are confrmed the father through DNA testing, you don't agree to anything legally.  Once testing is done and you are confirmed the father, then you start to deal with the legal process of parenting time, etc... You can't do anything legally until the baby is born and the first step following that is getting testing done.  Do not sign any agreement regarding paternity, visitation, support, ...until then. you need to be highly skeptical of any attorney who is trying to get you to do this while she is pregnant or of her for trying to get you to do that.  That sends huge red flags up to me and it should to you as well.

What is the exact wording of the order related to having to pay college costs? If it is in their orders he has to pay, that takes precedence over anything else.  If he agreed to it in the orders, and that has existed all along,  he can definitely be held accountable for it. It won't matter what other rulings (supreme court) have occured, because he agreed many years ago to pay college costs in their orders.   So, it is very important how the order is worded. 

Just wanted to add...that when you are asking for specific telephone times in your new orders (and I would definitely specificy holidays and specify times for those dates because it is likely that will not follow your normal call times)  also ask that non holiday telephone calls made and not answered must be returned within 24 hours.  As your child gets older, there is undoubtedly going to be times when she isn't home, you want it that calls have to be returned.

You really need to consult a local attorney.  Legally, it is his home.   It very well could be ordered for you to vacate the premises since it is his. 

Gemini is right, since it is her parenting time, she is well within her rights to know where the children will be.  It doesn't sound like she is trying to make you seek her approval, she wants to know where the kids will be.

Additionally, many states have "informed whereabout" clauses in their orders.  Not sure if his orders have this or not, but it typically states the parent who does not have the children has a right to know where they are or will be going, particularly when it involves out of state travel plans.   In your other post you said the court contact she made said she is within her rights to know where they are, so apparently that is standard in your area as well.  It is not meant for someone to have to seek approval to take children somewhere, but it is meant so parents know where there kids will be.   

MB is right...depending on the judge, they may reschedule, allow her attorney to only be present, allow her to attend telephonically, or issue a default response.  Honestly, don't get real excited about this, it's usually just a slap on the wrist for contempt, possibly make up time (and that is wholly dependent on the judge as well) and maybe a more defined method of communication while you are deployed.  It's a baby step.

Hi FL Mom,
You are right about taking both parties salaries into consideration, but it still equates to about 20% of your income, however, you are absolutely right that anything over 40% of overnights should be taken into consideration and factored in as well as the fact you are responsible for 100% of non paid medical.  FL DOR is the worst.  I would suggest you file yourself with the courts for a hearing for a downward modification but I also know that when DOR is involved (because I went through it too) that the hearing would not be scheduled since the case was considered DOR's and they had not initiated the filing, I did (out of complete frustration).  Seems FL DOR gets it wrong on both sides, I am the CP and my ex is 33k in arrears and they have done nothing, but I know NCPs that get put through the ringer and they were paying.  No rhyme or reason when dealing with them.  I did what you did and contacted the governor's office, who like you, did nothing at all to assist.  I know it's not much help, but I would call and be the squeaky wheel....ask for a supervisor and keep calling till you get someone with some knowledge.  If all else fails, file yourself for a downward modification directly with the courts.  At least someone will have to acknowledge you then.   I am sure you are familiar, but here is the FL court form for downward modification that should be used.  http://www.flcourts.org/gen_public/family/forms_rules/905b.pdf (http://www.flcourts.org/gen_public/family/forms_rules/905b.pdf).  You have to include your financial affadavit or they won't even consider it.   Also, be sure to spell out your current income is not reflective to the amount being paid, that you do have 45% of overnights....and include that you are responsible for 100% of medical, all of the reasons you know your amount should be deviated from the standard that was not included.  Be the squeaky wheel! Good Luck, I know it's VERY frustrating.