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Messages - tulip

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21
Minnesota State Forum / Ok, if you know something
« on: May 08, 2005, 06:56:26 PM »
I am using Outlook Express, and my provider is peoplepc.com. I don't know if that helps you w/ any answers or not, but if you have a suggestion, great!

22
Minnesota State Forum / RE: Here I am!
« on: May 07, 2005, 07:38:24 PM »
No, it doesn't look like it's going to end anytime soon. We went to court on Monday. The only thing that changed is that BM will have to take her drug tests through the corrections dept now instead of on her own. That is a good thing, but dh has to try to get the judge to inform the corrections dept that he needs to know the results.  Tomorrow is mother's day. SS really wants to give his bm the gift he made for her, sd doesn't really care if she sees her or not. BM seems to be under the dillusion that she has a legal right to spend the day with the kids because it's mother's day. DH is going to bring them over tomorrow evening for a little while after we get back from visiting my family. He's going to stay there with them. Actually, he hasn't talked to bm about it yet, so I don't know if she will agree to let him come over there, but that's the only way he's bringing the kids there right now.

I'm glad things are going better for your neice. It makes me so sad when kids get trampled over in their parents' messes. My mom adopted my nephew last year because she's been raising him since he was a baby (he's ten now.) His parents pretty much abandoned him, and he's got some psychological problems from the whole thing. The adoption was supposed to help with that, so he would feel like he actually has a mom and a dad.

I'd be happy to start e-mailing you, Sunshine, but right now I can't email anyone! I have this new computer that I'm having a little trouble with. I'm computer stupid, so I will probably have to call somebody to help me out, but I can receive e-mail, I can't send it. I'll let you know when I figure it out.

23
Minnesota State Forum / Here I am!
« on: Apr 05, 2005, 08:15:15 PM »
Hi Sunshine!
I haven't been here in a long time. It was getting too depressing for me, and I've been really busy because I started college. But something happened today, and I needed to check in here. It's so nice to know that you are still thinking me and my family. Here's an update:

The kids are doing great in school! SS is still in therapy, but sd quit going because the couselor couldn't get her to talk about what happened with her bm, and other than that situation she is doing great in everything.

BM still isn't doing drug testing so she can see the kids. The few times she has seen them over the past year have been bad. The kids miss her, and want her to get it together, but ss is really frightened of her, and they are both angry about the way she keeps jerking them around. They are supposed to talk to on the phone every day, but a lot of times they don't want to, and dh doesn't push them to, since she hasn't done any of the stuff she's supposed to be doing.

BM said she was moving to AK because she lost her driver's license, and can't work, so she can't pay her rent, but last week in cs court she said there was no way she would even consider moving to AK. She told the kids over the past month that she was definitely doing this, so there's one more lie they've heard from her.

We are going back to family court in a few weeks, and bm had told dh that she was going to ask the court to force him to send the kids up to AK for the whole summer. She's not even doing what she has to do to exercise her supervised visitation now, why would he send them thousands of miles away to spend the summer there?

We got the papers she filed today. She is motioning for unsupervised visitation, make-up parenting time, and that the divorce decree be amended to state that if she is non compliant he can only withhold the visitation immediately following the incident, not indefinitely. Her affidavit was completely rambling with accusations dating back over the past four years, which were either lies or half truths. I was accused of physically assaulting her.

Seeing all those lies made us both really mad today. But most of the time, it just makes me sad. I don't want the kids to have to go through this anymore. BM knows what she has to do to be a mom, and she won't do it. I wish she would just go away, but mostly I wish she would give this garbage up and straighten her life. Her kids are going to forgive her, and I want to forgive her, but how can we get on with it until she will sober up and start being honest about it? The papers she submitted to the cs magistrate state that according to her doctor, she has no problem with chemical dependency, even though that has already been proven and admitted.

24
Minnesota State Forum / Is this legal?????????
« on: Dec 13, 2004, 08:16:05 PM »
DH was served at 4:30 this afternoon with a notice to appear in court at 9:00 tomorrow morning.

BM filed a petition for harassment restraining order. She has made all kinds of ridiculous claims, dating back to 12/03. What a coincidence, that is when the court proceedings started to change custody. She did not reference their family court file at all, probably because then they would see that she is meth addict and these allegations are paranoid dillusions.

DH doesn't want any contact with her, but can he ask for the same protection that she wants? Keep her away from us!! The last time he spoke to her (she called here) he told her that she could not have any contact with the kids until she proved she is sober. Now I think her intention is to get in front of a different judge and keep him from having access to her medical records. She claims he has been calling her doctors, we don't even know who her doctor is! She is abusing prescription medications now, and doesn't want to have to justify it.

25
Minnesota State Forum / We're doing ok.
« on: Nov 30, 2004, 07:30:53 PM »
No, we didn't get a new atty. DH is still trying to decide what to do. It's very hard to tell what's right and wrong here.

I'm just praying for a peaceful holiday season. We did have a good Thanksgiving, thanks for asking. BM has been calling a lot, we just don't answer the phone. The last time dh spoke to her she refused to take the drug tests. She said "it's never going to be good enough for you." Well she hasn't passed one yet, so I don't know if it will be good enough or not. She had the cops call here the day before Thanksgiving. After hearing dh's side, they called her back and told her she's in the wrong. She claims that she is compliant with the order to do drug tests because she told dh if he would pick her up and give her a ride, she would go take a test. Whatever. She has no problem getting around everywhere else she needs to go.

26
Minnesota State Forum / We need a new atty
« on: Nov 14, 2004, 08:00:10 PM »
We're in Anoka Cty. The atty we used before came highly recommended. But everything he said the judge would do, she did the opposite. He told us the last time he was in court with us, he didn't have any experience dealing with meth addicts. I think that's why he was so surprised dh actually got custody. We have been told by the drug task force (and seen on the news) that Anoka Cty's judges are just really fed up with meth addicted mothers.

Some really bad stuff is going on here. Today dh and I were talking about how he can legally deny her contact with the kids until she gets clean. He is worried about the legal side, but also about telling the kids. But then when he was putting ss to bed tonight, he told dh he has to take her back to court. He can see she is really messed up, and he doesn't want to talk to her for a long time. The really sad part is that he thinks if dh takes her back to court, the judge can order her to go to treatment.


27
Minnesota State Forum / RE: Good GAAAWWWD!
« on: Oct 26, 2004, 07:59:11 AM »
DH didn't have a chance to object to the letter. She submitted it the day the case closed, and we got a copy in the mail the next day. DH told me that he thinks he is going to have to hire an atty for the next hearing. He didn't think he needed one this time, and the county atty was on his side, but we are going to have to subpoena her medical records. I seriously don't understand how she could have been treated for seizures, and the hospital didn't notify the state.

She hasn't been taking drug tests, she claims that's because she doesn't medical ins. Whatever, it's always something. She has not seen the kids regularly, and in fact isn't calling them regularly anymore. She called a couple weeks ago and told the kids that if they would just tell her to, she would leave them alone. Nice huh?

She didn't call once last week to talk to the kids, but called dh everyday while they were at school. She wants the name and # of the kids' counselor, I'm sure she just wants to call them and try to manipulate things more. I told him not to tell her anything. So what if she brings him back to court? Then she can answer for why she is not following the guidelines she had agreed to last time they were there.

She has given dh the results of 3 tests. The first one was positive for meth. The second for codeine that she didn't have a prescription for and the third one for Xanax. You know what can happen if you take too much Xanax? Seizures.

28
Minnesota State Forum / cs case still not over.
« on: Oct 24, 2004, 06:10:49 PM »
The very last day that the case was to be closed, bm submitted a letter from some neurologist that says she is not to drive for 6 months per MN law, and is disabled. Didn't give any details of her disability. At least 5 words were spelled wrong, and it was not signed. She also submitted a leave of absence form from her employer that wasn't signed by anyone but her.

So the cs magistrate ordered cs to be reserved until review hearing is held in 6 months. At that time she is to show very specific proof of what her physical limitations are, her diagnosis, and estimated length of time of her limitations. If not, and she is not employed full time, she is to show very specific proof of her employment search activities. She could be ordered to pay retro support, or it seems, none at all.

Her driver's license is still valid. I thought by law, her physician would be obligated to turn her in to state, but apparently they haven't.

29
Minnesota State Forum / Has to be signed by a judge.
« on: Oct 24, 2004, 06:02:38 PM »
I didn't open the link, but is it a form that will be submitted to the judge for signature? If so, then as long as both of you have signed and notarized, then the judge will sign it. When the judge signs it, go to the courthouse and pick it up, bring it to the cs office. That's what I would do, just to make sure they take care of it quickly. Otherwise, you can call them and tell them. They can check the court file to verify it, but they may sit on a while if you leave it up to them.

Congratulations on getting the ex to agree to it all.

30
Minnesota State Forum / CS hearing over.
« on: Oct 02, 2004, 06:58:46 PM »
BM claimed that she can't work because of a very serious, yet undiagnosed, medical condition. (She claims she is having grand mall seizures.) She had no evidence of ever having had a seizure. She contradicted herself numerous times on the stand. Her own atty was very upset. She also said she couldn't work full time until she finishes school, but she isn't going to enroll in any classes until January. She can't get ft hours at her current employer, but has no intention of ever looking for a different employer. She left her car at home the day of court to support her claim that she is having seizures. She said in court she hasn't driven her car at all, but we know for sure she is driving all over the place. What an idiot!

Every statement she made in that courtroom is going to be held against her should she ever take dh back to court for increased visitation or custody.

So the magistrate gave her 3 weeks to produce more evidence or she will sign the request made by the cs office. I am so relieved to almost have this crap over.

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