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Messages - Kitty C.

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21
In order to change an original order, you have to request a 'modification'.  In order to do that, you have to PROVE that there has been an 'significant change of circumstance' regarding the child, ie. abuse, neglect, etc.  So get EVERYTHING you possibly can into the original order, because once it's signed by the judge, it almost takes an act of God (or the mother going to prison) to change it.
 
And I wholeheartedly agree with ocean....ask for MUCH more than what you're willing to settle for, because if you only ask for what you want, you will no doubt get MUCH less.  Think of it like a business negotiation....both parties start at opposite ends and wind up somewhere in the middle....hopefully.

22
Chit Chat / Re: Life continues on
« on: Jul 30, 2013, 10:28:51 PM »
JayC!!!!!!!!!!  It's great to see you, buddy!  Long time no hear from!   ;D
 
Yeah, we've all grown older...maybe wiser, LOL!  I started here when SS was about 3 years old....he's now 19 and engaged!  Yes, karma is a GOOD thing and we've seen it in action over and over again!
 
I predicted way back then that DH's ex would grow old lonely and alone...so far, it's coming true.   ;)

23
General Issues / Re: BM won't use both insurance policies
« on: Jul 11, 2013, 01:50:55 PM »
Why couldn't he just go to the pharmacy with his ins. and CO and tell them to register his insurance and it MUST be used first, per the CO?

24
And above all else....do NOT tell her you would continue to pay her CS if she moves without the kids!  If that is something you truly are willing to do, keep that up your sleeve...it may be an ace in the hole that you can use later to negotiate if she still insists on taking the kids with her.  But....and this is JMO....I would ONLY use it if she still pushes in court to take the kids. 
As for the other expenses (activities, medical, education, etc.), I would negotiate those separately.  If she is saying now that she doesn't want to have to pay CS, it's highly possible she will seriously balk at splitting expenses.  And even if she agrees, don't count on getting reimbursed by her.  Which is why it would be senseless to pay her any kind of CS....because I have a feeling that if she is willing to move without the kids, expect to pay 100% of everything for the kids.

25
You didn't miss a thing, Ocean!  And MB knew you wouldn't!   ;D

26
Yup....certainly has spun my head sufficiently, LOL!!!  Unless one of them is willing to go the distance and do a lot of driving, I don't see any other way around it.

27
No argument here, MB!  Just having a 'senior moment', LOL!   ;D   If I had read a little more carefully, I would have known that!
 
But I think the issue of who has the children on Father's Day is still a legitimate issue.  I know that DH's order specified Mother's and Father's Day as holidays and holidays superceded regular visitation and vacation time.  Which is why I can't figure out why he wouldn't have the kids on Father's Day...unless his order is like yours and makes no mention of it.

28
MB makes a point....is there anything in your order that specifies holidays and, if so, is Father's Day included?  If it does, does it say anything about holidays taking precedence over regular visitation or vacation time?  If it does, then technically you don't have to give the kids to her until Sunday evening.  As far as who drives (and there's no clear-cut answer), the standard rule of thumb is 'he who wants, fetches'...meaning if she wants them, she comes to get them and then you pick them up when it's your time.  And you're still splitting the cost of transportation that way.

29
In the '100 miles or more' part of the order, does it say anything that the same rules/orders apply?  Look for language that states that even with a change, the same criteria applies.  Read it carefully, as it's easy to miss.

30
Custody Issues / Re: ex moved away do we need to adjust agreement?
« on: Jun 12, 2013, 07:52:31 AM »
I agree with ocean....if it's working right now, let it go.  It's only when you disagree to this arrangement that you would have to go to court.  BUT....keep VERY good records on how you are implementing the change.  Courts like 'status quo', so if you do have to go to court and you can provide documentation that you agreed to this revised schedule AND it had been working up until then, the court takes a very serious look at that.  Only if there were extenuating circumstances that would not allow one of you to follow the revised agreement would the court consider something else.

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