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Messages - Kitty C.

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Custody Issues / Re: Need Advice - Suspected Drug Use
« on: Dec 31, 2013, 10:29:40 AM »
Gem, the heck with any retaliation......a patient's life may be on the line here.  She KNOWS she screwed up and she KNOWS that if Admin. goes after her, the only way they would know about it is through your DH.  The only advice I can give him is that if she does retaliate, be prepared.  if she uses the kids to do that, then you've got some leverage.  It is HIGHLY possible she may be brought up on charges, because I can guarantee you that the hospital will be investigating to see if any meds were stolen and if any patient was compromised.  If that happens, anything else is a moot point.
Keep us informed on what happens, Gem!

Visitation Issues / Re: Hey yall!
« on: Dec 03, 2013, 02:43:13 PM »
There's still some of us around, Grazer!  My SS is going on 20, moved out of BM's house within a month of turning 18 (duh!) and is planning on getting married next fall!
My, how time flies!   ;D

Custody Issues / Re: Mom took the child
« on: Nov 07, 2013, 03:05:03 PM »
You see, that is one thing that many people fail to realize....the CO is ONLY between your DH and BM.....your SD is NOT bound by it.  Which is why she can just get up a walk away from it and go directly back to BM's.  The term is 'voting with their feet'....something that has been 'unofficially' been recognized by many parents and some courts.  Usually it happens when a child wants to get away from a bad parent...if the child leaves often enough, sometimes a judge will say 'I can't keep the child from going to going to the other parent, so I guess that parent will have primary custody.'

[/size]In your case, it's just the opposite.  And it's possible that a judge may rule the same way if it happens enough times.  If you do get to court, is it possible to request joint counseling?  Starting out with SD, then SD and your DH, then SD and BM?  This child's mind is literally being poisoned and, at this stage, I would say that IF Dad keeps custody, counseling should be CO'd (in order to get compliance from BM, but that's still questionable).  Otherwise, you will be fighting a losing battle with her and BM.  JMO....

Custody Issues / Re: Mom took the child
« on: Nov 06, 2013, 12:47:47 PM »
Yes, but there is extenuating circumstances here, since BM took the child and won't give her back.  Since that goes completely against the current custody and access orders, I think your atty. is right to go forward with the police assistance clause.  She changed the rules herself when she took the child, so any previous mention of waiting a year to file for a change flies right out the window.

Father's Issues / Re: My kid's Dental insurance coverage
« on: Nov 01, 2013, 10:04:45 AM »
Arista, I am a step-mom who carries insurance for DH, DS, and SS (health AND dental) and I also work at a dental college.  Cal the dentist's office first...unless they need to scan the card, they may not even need you to bring them in.  And unless there's something in your CO that specifically states ONLY you can provide insurance, there's absolutely no legal reason why your wife can't carry it.
Your ex is just wanting to be pissy because she knows you're happy now....she sounds like DH's ex......she didn't want him and she didn't want anyone else to have him, either!  That was 17 years ago and, after her second failed marriage, I think she's finally given in to the fact that I'm not going anywhere, LOL!

 'I hate even sending her an email because ill get a nasty response and my blood pressure and anxiety goes up.'
She does it because she KNOWS that's what it does to you and that's the WHOLE reason she does it in the first place!  You have to change your perspective on this...consider the source.  Once you realize she's doing it on purpose....and how stupid it and makes her look....it will start being a source of amusement to you...really!   YOU have to change your reaction to it...otherwise she's playing you like a fiddle.   :)


Father's Issues / Re: false dv charge
« on: Oct 07, 2013, 12:05:04 PM »
Is there a question?  Because I can't make any sense of you post....

Davy...I am SO sorry!!!  This is tragic on SO many levels!!! :'(

DCSS and the IRS are two separate entities and one has nothing to do with the other.  CS has nothing to do with filing status, only the income of the parents.  DH had this issue when he paid CS....she claimed HoH for tax purposes, but DH got to claim SS on his taxes every year, as long as his CS was current.
But I am confused, too.....how can both your ex and current husband claim the children?  We had that happen one year, when BM thought that DH was behind as of Dec. 31st.  We filed right away, claiming SS, then went round and round with her about it.  We even handed her a notarized letter from CSRU stating he was current, but she filed anyway.  Just prior to Christmas that same year, we got a letter from the IRS stating that a SSN that was on our return was also used on someone else's, and it was SS's.  It included a form and the letter stated that if we'd filed in error, we were to fill it out and send it back, but if we were correct, to disregard the letter.  I can only assume BM got the same letter, but we couldn't get BM to tell us what happened.
If your ex is claiming the kids by mutual agreement (and you don't say how many years he's been doing this), then a precedence has been set, especially with the IRS.  To change it could possibly raise red flags with them.  IMO, whomever claims the children with the IRS needs to be clarified and possibly court-ordered, so there's no question. You certainly don't want the IRS to come back at you down the road!
I know that your original question was regarding CS being calculated via IRS filing status, but that's a non-issue.  WHO claims the children, IMO is the bigger issue.

In order to change an original order, you have to request a 'modification'.  In order to do that, you have to PROVE that there has been an 'significant change of circumstance' regarding the child, ie. abuse, neglect, etc.  So get EVERYTHING you possibly can into the original order, because once it's signed by the judge, it almost takes an act of God (or the mother going to prison) to change it.
And I wholeheartedly agree with ocean....ask for MUCH more than what you're willing to settle for, because if you only ask for what you want, you will no doubt get MUCH less.  Think of it like a business negotiation....both parties start at opposite ends and wind up somewhere in the middle....hopefully.

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