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Messages - Kitty C.

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 'I hate even sending her an email because ill get a nasty response and my blood pressure and anxiety goes up.'
She does it because she KNOWS that's what it does to you and that's the WHOLE reason she does it in the first place!  You have to change your perspective on this...consider the source.  Once you realize she's doing it on purpose....and how stupid it and makes her look....it will start being a source of amusement to you...really!   YOU have to change your reaction to it...otherwise she's playing you like a fiddle.   :)


Father's Issues / Re: false dv charge
« on: Oct 07, 2013, 12:05:04 PM »
Is there a question?  Because I can't make any sense of you post....

Davy...I am SO sorry!!!  This is tragic on SO many levels!!! :'(

DCSS and the IRS are two separate entities and one has nothing to do with the other.  CS has nothing to do with filing status, only the income of the parents.  DH had this issue when he paid CS....she claimed HoH for tax purposes, but DH got to claim SS on his taxes every year, as long as his CS was current.
But I am confused, too.....how can both your ex and current husband claim the children?  We had that happen one year, when BM thought that DH was behind as of Dec. 31st.  We filed right away, claiming SS, then went round and round with her about it.  We even handed her a notarized letter from CSRU stating he was current, but she filed anyway.  Just prior to Christmas that same year, we got a letter from the IRS stating that a SSN that was on our return was also used on someone else's, and it was SS's.  It included a form and the letter stated that if we'd filed in error, we were to fill it out and send it back, but if we were correct, to disregard the letter.  I can only assume BM got the same letter, but we couldn't get BM to tell us what happened.
If your ex is claiming the kids by mutual agreement (and you don't say how many years he's been doing this), then a precedence has been set, especially with the IRS.  To change it could possibly raise red flags with them.  IMO, whomever claims the children with the IRS needs to be clarified and possibly court-ordered, so there's no question. You certainly don't want the IRS to come back at you down the road!
I know that your original question was regarding CS being calculated via IRS filing status, but that's a non-issue.  WHO claims the children, IMO is the bigger issue.

In order to change an original order, you have to request a 'modification'.  In order to do that, you have to PROVE that there has been an 'significant change of circumstance' regarding the child, ie. abuse, neglect, etc.  So get EVERYTHING you possibly can into the original order, because once it's signed by the judge, it almost takes an act of God (or the mother going to prison) to change it.
And I wholeheartedly agree with ocean....ask for MUCH more than what you're willing to settle for, because if you only ask for what you want, you will no doubt get MUCH less.  Think of it like a business negotiation....both parties start at opposite ends and wind up somewhere in the middle....hopefully.

Chit Chat / Re: Life continues on
« on: Jul 30, 2013, 10:28:51 PM »
JayC!!!!!!!!!!  It's great to see you, buddy!  Long time no hear from!   ;D
Yeah, we've all grown older...maybe wiser, LOL!  I started here when SS was about 3 years old....he's now 19 and engaged!  Yes, karma is a GOOD thing and we've seen it in action over and over again!
I predicted way back then that DH's ex would grow old lonely and alone...so far, it's coming true.   ;)

General Issues / Re: BM won't use both insurance policies
« on: Jul 11, 2013, 01:50:55 PM »
Why couldn't he just go to the pharmacy with his ins. and CO and tell them to register his insurance and it MUST be used first, per the CO?

And above all else....do NOT tell her you would continue to pay her CS if she moves without the kids!  If that is something you truly are willing to do, keep that up your sleeve...it may be an ace in the hole that you can use later to negotiate if she still insists on taking the kids with her.  But....and this is JMO....I would ONLY use it if she still pushes in court to take the kids. 
As for the other expenses (activities, medical, education, etc.), I would negotiate those separately.  If she is saying now that she doesn't want to have to pay CS, it's highly possible she will seriously balk at splitting expenses.  And even if she agrees, don't count on getting reimbursed by her.  Which is why it would be senseless to pay her any kind of CS....because I have a feeling that if she is willing to move without the kids, expect to pay 100% of everything for the kids.

You didn't miss a thing, Ocean!  And MB knew you wouldn't!   ;D

Yup....certainly has spun my head sufficiently, LOL!!!  Unless one of them is willing to go the distance and do a lot of driving, I don't see any other way around it.

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