Messages

21

Custody Issues / Re: Need help to keep custody rights in place while trying to restore relationship

« on: Nov 16, 2012, 09:30:36 am »

HUGE red flag here.....she is NOT at all interested in reconcilling.  She is telling you 2 different things here that are not compatable with each other.  She wants you out of there, plain and simple.  I agree with ocean....do NOT leave the home, not even to her parents house.  The moment you are gone, she will do whatever she can to make sure you can't come back. File for temp. custody with stipulation that the children stay in the home.
If she feels a separation is needed and is so determined to make that happen, SHE can leave and go to her parents' house.  If you leave, she has the upper hand in just about everything.
Another thing....if she assaults you again (yes, an open handed slap is assault), REPORT IT.  Go to the nearest law enforcement agency and report it.  File charges if you have to.  You say you have pictures of previous assaults....if you report, include those pictures to prove that it is an ongoing situation.  I know that this can be a very sticky situation, but think about this.....she continues to do it because she hasn't been stopped.  You didn't mention whether she's doing this in front of the kids, but even if she hasn't, she probably will....what kind of lesson is that teaching your kids?  That it's okay to beat up on Daddy?  That it's okay to hit someone when you're mad at them?  Think about the long-term effects this can have on your kids.  Yes, it might be traumatizing for them initially if LE gets involved, but the unwanted lessons learned if you do nothing can last a lifetime and affect their future relationships as well.
 
I can't emphasize this enough....DO NOT LEAVE THE HOUSE!

22

Visitation Issues / Re: non-custodial dad refuses to compromise temporary visitation

« on: Oct 20, 2012, 05:38:08 pm »

You might want to check your CO again, but in most custody orders, birthdays and holidays trump regular visitation.  Now, if this is Dad's weekend, but you still get child for so many hours on his birthday, then you should go P/U the child at the time the CO allows you to.
 
Otherwise, if it's Dad's time, then child does NOT have a say in who he wants to be with or why.

23

Custody Issues / Re: Lost and Losing Hope

« on: Oct 01, 2012, 02:33:32 pm »

He can file a motion for just about anything he or she wants, but that doesn't mean they're gonna get it!  The intimidating thing about our judicial system is that they use words and terms that make the whole thing sound ominous....all a motion is is a request, that's IT.  It is up to the judge to grant the request and, with what they're asking for (with the specifics that they are asking for, you can't get more blatant than that about wanting to leave the country!), I seriously doubt the judge will go for it.  Do NOT take all that with you that day!
 
The stupid thing is, the BM is just as capable of getting copies of the children's birth certs.....but since she's illegally here anyway, she may not want to deal with any more 'government officials'.  The biggest issue here is her illegal status and intent to flee the country with the kids and that is what you need to hammer home at that hearing.

24

Father's Issues / Re: Relocating

« on: Sep 27, 2012, 10:07:28 am »

I agree, ocean...every time she tells you to 'contact her atty.' and you do so, she will get billed for it.  If she's given them a retainer, she will go through it mighty fast.

25

Parenting Issues / Re: Is this a type of Parental Alienation?

« on: Sep 05, 2012, 01:38:06 pm »

You've mentioned 'sociopath' a couple times....since you've been in court, have psych. evals. been done?  If not, it may be something you might want to consider....

26

Visitation Issues / Re: how can i handle visits and threats from the father and his girlfriend?

« on: Sep 04, 2012, 09:31:13 am »

Tigger, it sounds like the two other boys have a different father.
 
Aerial, if the father of your unborn child states that he wants nothing to do with it, why would you want to force the child on him?  If the father doesn't want to see the baby, why would you think he'd want to be there in the delivery room?  All you can do is keep him informed of the pregnancy and birth.  Tell him when you are going to the hospital and when the baby is born.  And if he and his GF are threatening you in anyway, you should report it.  If there was physical abuse when he was with you, was it reported then?  There's a LOT of unknowns here.  If you're concerned about any legalities, contact an atty.

27

Visitation Issues / Re: Question about contact during visitation

« on: Aug 30, 2012, 09:08:19 am »

Good for you, Simpledad!  You called her bluff and told her to put her money where her mouth is!  That's what a lot of the 'demands' that CP's make are....bluffs.  Trying to get the NCP to do what they want, regardless of orders.  But when they're told that if they don't like it, they should take it up with the court, it essentially tells them that THEY do not call the shots...the courts do.

28

Visitation Issues / Re: Minimal Visitation....

« on: Aug 24, 2012, 07:50:02 am »

If she's moving, you need to file to keep her from doing so before the next court date....I know there's a legal name for it, but I can't think of it at the moment.....

29

Moms Without Custody / Re: New and scared

« on: Aug 22, 2012, 08:21:10 am »

But don't count on it, either.  If you get a 'good old boy' judge, he just might drop the hammer.  You have a LOT of work ahead of you.  Yes, your ex can be seen as primary caregiver, given your personal and employment history.  And the suggestion of taking a substance abuse assessment is a very good idea, but don't count on it swaying the judge, even if it's a stellar report.
 
What I am saying is hope for the best and work hard towards that...but expect the worst, too.  And if it does come down to supervised, ask for a graduated calendar with dates that increases your time and allows for unsupervised if all goals have been met.  Just make sure you follow through on everything the court asks you to do.  Good luck.

30

Father's Issues / Re: ex me wants to sign passport?

« on: Aug 15, 2012, 09:14:25 am »

Then there's your answer.....if you don't trust her, do NOT sign the passport application!