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She IS doing better, thank you!

What bothers me the most about this whole thing is that the BM is apparently using that grudge between my brother and DS to her advantage, and driving a deeper wedge between us. 

Here I thought that when SS graduated and got married, DH and I were done with this kind of crap.  Now my granddaughter is caught in the middle between DS and GD's BM.  I've had concerns about her since practically Day 1.  A couple months after GD was born, BM had to be hospitalized because she thought she might hurt GD.  Just a hospital stay for a week, no follow-up, no other intervention.

It's an incredibly long story, but suffice it to say that on Father's Day, she refused to allow DS to see his daughter.  My brother and SIL are involved and they shouldn't be, as BM is playing DH and I against them because my brother has a grudge against DS for something DS did when he was TWELVE. (Convoluted, huh?)  Needless to say, the BM threw our whole family under the bus Sat. night.  And she's either deleted her FB page or unfriended everyone in connection to DS.  DH is absolutely livid, partly because of all the problems he had with SS's BM in the past and partly because GD's BM lied to him once before and he told her that was her only chance.  He now says he's through with her.

And we're supposed to have her this weekend....she got a no contact order on DS a year ago and a temp. custody order was included for EOW.  And there's a court date next Tuesday because she wants to extend it (even tho she and DS have had NO contact except for a phone conversation regarding GD's ear tube surgery).  DH and I facilitate the exchanges.  I don't know if that's going to happen tomorrow night, but all I can do is pray.  God, how I love that little girl!

MB:  I'm keeping this off my FB page. 

The dropping off on the side of the road 'might' be an issue the court might address.  It depends on time of year (blistering hot or freezing cold?), distance (a few blocks or miles?), and location (city street or freeway?). And if the BF had absolutely no means to be able to call someone to come get them.  If the circumstances are right, it might be viewed as putting the child in danger.  Yes, the father was there, but he would have a difficult time shielding the child from adverse weather conditions, carry the child for a long distance, or shielding the child from traffic (if he would have gotten hit by a vehicle, the child would have, too).

Well said, tigger!   

I started this post a few days ago and it somehow never got sent....probably a problem on the sender's end.   

I want to address the on-call firefighter issue.  I'm a vol. EMT and a BM/SM.  First of all, how did your ex find out that you were on a call in the first place?  Does she have a scanner she listens to find out if you get paged out?  Those of us in public safety know and understand that the way calls are dispatched may not be exactly what's going on when you get to the scene. 

That being said, your calls probably run anywhere from a half hour to 4+ or all day, depending on how big the fire is and whether mutual aid is involved.  And considering there's no way to know in advance how long the call will be.....and that there would be NO TIME to notify her when you get paged out....I think this is a provision you should have in your order, as well.  That your duty as a firefighter should not be included when considering RoFR.  But the court will want to know who the child is being left with, so you would need to designate 1 or 2 individuals (you mentioned your father and your fiancé would be an option, too) that would be available.  The thing is, they would already have to be IN your home at the time you get paged out, since you won't have enough time to take her to someone.

If there's anyone in your dept. who is divorced, you might want to ask them what they did/are doing about their on-call status.  They might be able to give you some tips, as well.

One option you might have is to call law enforcement and ask to have a welfare check done on the kids.  Tell them why you need it.  They will go to his house and ask to see the kids....they may even take a K9 with them, who knows.

As for the 'evidence' that you had from their last visit, it won't make a difference if you throw it away.  If they come home with anything else like that again, call LE immediately and give them the evidence.  Also, if their clothing smells like they've been exposed, keep those to show to LE, also.

Whether she owns or rents a trailer, she still has to pay lot rent.  The court management may or may not be able to give out any identifying info.  But you won't know unless you ask.   

Either that or contact your state bar association. If she's working for you and hasn't done the proper filings, she may get sanctioned by the state bar.  And if they find her at fault, I would be asking the state bar to assign another atty. pro bono.  Never hurts to ask!

I agree with tigger and that 's exactly what we did when DH's ex refused to send SS's Cub Scout shirt with him.  I found a very nice used one and was able to duplicate almost everything on it.  Pissed the ex off when she realized she couldn't get the upper hand.  After that, she gave up.
Try to duplicate as much as you can.  As for next and future Halloweens, take your daughter out shopping for a costume and tell her she can either get the same thing her mom gets her or she can get something completely different.  And that you're doing your best to make things smoother and less stressful for her.

Something else to consider.....by the time this issue would make it thru the court system, the youngest probably will be graduated.  Depends on the court whether they would want to address increasing CS when it would only be valid for a very short time.