Menu

Show posts

This section allows you to view all posts made by this member. Note that you can only see posts made in areas you currently have access to.

Show posts Menu

Messages - eagleeyefam

#41
I got it! I sent you one back. chat with you soon
#42
I had to go double check with my hubby to make sure he didn't post this!!!! We are dealing with the same thing right now. Court was on Wednesday addressing the visitation denials. It was postponed until end of october. The judge gave a very stern lecture to the mom to allow the custodial time. But because nothing was issued as an order the original court order stands and visitation was denied again. There is a huge long story with all of it as well.

Hang in there. Eventually this will all come to a head and you will get to be a father to your child. It sucks to go thru this. But please know you are not alone in this sinking boat.

PM anything anytime.
#43
I will admit when i first read your post I did not want to respond because of the situation. But then after talking to my husband I realized how biased and closed minded I was being. I owe you a very heartfelt apology for that. It was very unfair of me to put up a wall of judgement. I truly am sorry.

You are their father. Bottom line nothing will ever change that. You and your children desere to foster a relationship. You are not unlike any of the other fathers that are fighting for the same parental rights.

File in court for what you want. Don't back down. You will probably have to establish paternity and the courts will order you to pay child support, and it's possible they might back date it to the time they were born.

As long as you are a good fatehr to your children that is all that matters.

Best of luck. I wish I had that magic mommy wand that made all the custody BS easier.
#44
I completely understand where you are coming from on  this. It's so hard to watch this BS happen to somebody you care about-whether it be bf or DH or just a friend.

I sat in a court hearing yesterday and listened to an attorney rip apart my husband as a person and father. He stood on his littel soap box and told the court room and the judge that my husband is a dirtbag of a fther and does not provide for his child. He is a classic dead beat father. blah blah blah. My husband was in tears. I was crying like a baby. That was the most horrible thing I have ever heard.

My DH was able to respond and defend himself. Yes he pays his child suport, yes he has his time with his son. The ex has denied custodial time several times. He has done everything in his power to be with his son.

So I understand your frustrate for your bf and his daughter.

You at this point can be very supportive of his fight. You can turn him to the direction  he needs for legal advice. Have him browse this site. There are many others available too.

One day this will all be resolved.  It's one long road until that happens. feel free to PMme if you need any ideas
#45
I've been where you are. It's so easy to get emotionally involved with the situation becasue you can see the torment and anguish this causes your bf. As a good good person you want to help in any way that you can. Doing that will destroy you emotionally.

It's not easy to walk away either. It's recommended at this point form people who have walked that same path. I recommend running far far away from this mess. But if you chose to stay and help then this is what you can advise your bf....

Document EVERYTHING> phone call times, text messages, emails, visits, conversations. It's tedious but DO IT.

Find a good family attorney to get orders set asap for custody time.

STAY OUT OF IT!!! That means you DO NOT go to any court hearings they have. Don't go to exchanges, don't commmunicate with the BM at all. Leave it to them. When your bf has his visit times then that's his time to have you involved.

Be there emotionally for your bf. let himcry on your shoulder. Don't trash talk to BM. Don't tell him your opinion of her.

Your bf will get the divorce order that will probably grant him every other weekend and that's it. He will also get ordered child support. Be ready to deal with that.

Don't get too involved. You can easily guide your bf to the legal help he needs. This sight is good for that.
#46
I'm all for the 50/50-BUT it only works if the parents canfind a common ground. If she ends up moving to the other state there is no waty the friday-friday schedule can work unless your child is home schooled. If she stays in the area then yes it could work.

You can contact the courthouse and speka to the family law department. They might be able to guide you in the direction you need for all of this.

Anytime she is in contmept or denys your visit make a police report.

Yes in mediation put it on the table that you want more time. Have a suggested schedule ready with you. After mediation, the mediator will give a recomendation. You can either agree to it or not. If you don't agree then file an objection. The medaition agreement will have all the info in it you need for filing. It's fairly easy.

What she is doing can fall under the PAS. Look into that.

Oh and don't lay it all out on the table in mediation. Keep some legal strategy secret.
#47
Custody Issues / Re: Concerned
Sep 03, 2009, 01:52:11 PM
Unless there is an actual order stating you have to give the child to her then don't.
#48
BM follows dad to the security point to watch and make sure they go thru to get on a plane. The papers actually state BM is to drive the child to Sac to meet for the exchange. It also states if a mode of transportation can not be agreed upon then a plane ticket is bought. She won't agree to the driving becasue it's her control factor she gets to play.

There really is no reason dad can't drive to sac and back other than mom wanting to deny visitation.

Court is coming up to change the flight issues.



Quote from: MixedBag on Aug 28, 2009, 05:29:14 AM
IMHO -- if the ORDER says this, then Dad is gonna have to have a "significant change in circumstances" to change what's already been ordered by a judge.

Honestly?  Here's what I would do.

What would happen if dad drove to Sacramento and met mom there at the same time the airline would have arrived?

And then what would happen if dad drove back to Sacramento arriving at the same time the airline would have returned you two?

Count your blessings that Mom BRINGS the child 3 hours to the airport....seriously.

EX#3's ex refused to drive their children from Winnemucca to Reno for 3 years -- and it took dad that long to get to court and ASK the court to find her in contempt.  Judge refused because the order was not clear.  And for 3 LONG years, dad did not get to see or speak to his children.

Back when I first split up with EX#2, my attorney said that I needed to agree to pay EX#2 for his gasoline expenses so that he would agree to take our son to the airport -- 110 miles one way.  Otherwise, yes, I'd have to rent a car on his end, go get our son, and return (3 airline tickets as well).

I can understand the frustration of the cost of travel -- believe me, 6 kids and three long distance divorces over the years -- and my son is presently a 12 hour one way drive away from me.

You two need to count your blessings.....


#49
Mom wouldn't do the driving, dad would do the round trip drive. Dad didn't move by choice, it was a job transfer.
I understand legally dad is responsible for the plane ticket, but morally come on. This is the childs father.
#50
Thanks in advance for any and all ideas

I'll try to make this short. It's joint legal joint physical mom having primary. dad gets 1 week a month. child is 2.

Clause in court order states "if parties can not agree on mode of transportation then an airline ticket will be bought. father pays 100% of this"

Ok. Child turned 2 in july. Dad has child 1 week a monoth. Flys from Boise to Sacramento and picks childs up, returns home to Boise with Child. The next weekend flys with child to Sac drops child with mom then flys home to Boise.

It is always fly. BM refuses to allow transport to be done by vehicle. REFUSES.

Now the child is 2. He needs his own round trip ticket. Each 1 week is now a total of 3 round trip tickets to be purchased. Unless you live in a cave, you know the cost of a round trip ticket is outrageous, let alone 3 in one month.

The drive will be 3 hours for BM to meet in SAC, then 7 hours to Boise. 10 hours all together.

Now we just went thru mediation and wanted to change the travel. the medator didn't change anythign in the papers so dad filed an oblection so some changes can me made when we go to a judge. MOM is now mad!!!!

Child is scheduled to be with dad starting saturday. mom sent an email stating the trips are now to consist of the ticket for the child as well as for the father. Thta's going to be almost $1200 for this week visit.

Mom is resuing to allow dad to pick up the child in Sac on saturday unless the travel is done by plane.

What can dad do????????????????????

The court is California based.