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Messages - sillystring

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Custody Issues / Re: changing birth certificate - Florida
« on: Mar 21, 2012, 12:15:08 PM »
I have a hard time seeing a judge changing custody after 11 years, especially if your husband still wants it even if she ends up not being his.
I would keep my eye on the court calendar though if I were you to make sure she doesn't try to sneak it past you. I know here in GA, we can look it up online.

Custody Issues / Re: witness list
« on: Mar 21, 2012, 12:12:55 PM »
They are probably mostly just character witnesses and will not be called at all. The judge doesn't whave time to hear from 20 people saying "Bm is a great mom!" so I wouldn't worry about the list at all.
The only ones you need to worry about are ones that personally know your husband anything negative they may say. But again, they probably won't be called either.

Have you talked to an attorney? It would need to be an attorney in the state where the child is currently in.
How involved were you and/or your mom in this child's life before all of this happened?
If your mom saw the child regularly when she was not in Iraq, I don't think it's unreasonable that she would be able to fight for grandparents' visitation rights (which would in turn grant you access to the child - as the aunt, I am not sure if there's anything you can file for). However, it really depends on the state.

Custody Issues / Re: Excessive absences and tardies
« on: Mar 19, 2012, 11:49:08 AM »
We are having a similar issue - we have 50/50. Even though mother only has to bring the child half the time, she has had 6 absences and 14 tardies. We got a letter from the school at 5, 10 and the school social worker gets involved at 15. My husband spoke with the social worker and got a report from him stating which days the child was late/tardy and whether it was excused or inexcused (12 of the tardies were inexcused but only 1 of the absences was). At our school, the parent has to sign in and give a reason why the child was tardy. The social worker told my husband we would be able to get copies of those as well.
So check your school policy and call the school to see who you need to talk to. Ask about the letters - I know at 5 they just sent one home with the child but at 10 the letter was actually mailed. Make sure you are on the mailing list to receive the letters. Also speak with the teacher to make sure the teacher keeps you informed as well. Don't talk bad about your ex, but let the school know that you are aware of the situation and concerned and trying to help.
We have addressed the situation with the ex, and even had a meeting with her and the teacher over it. She didn't have any tardies the last week she had her, but I guess we'll see about this week. We are planning on taking her back to court when we receive the letter for the 15th tardy.

Visitation Issues / Re: Unwritten grace period
« on: Jan 24, 2012, 12:31:19 PM »
Next time you go to court over something, request for it to be changed so that the parent getting the child is the one to do pick-ups. This is what we have done and it has been a sanity-saver! My husband's ex was always late when she was supposed to drop off DSD (yet early when she had to pick her up, go figure).

Visitation Issues / Re: WWYD - great-grandparent in hospital
« on: Apr 25, 2011, 10:56:00 AM »
Well, he never actually was in the hospital. He was originally supposed to have surgery on Tuesday, which is why they drove up there (planning on coming back Tuesday when he went into surgery). Then the two doctors were disagreeing on whether it was more risky to do the surgery or not (he is having lung issues and heart issues - they wanted to do surgery on the lung but the heart doctor is afraid his heart isn't strong enough). So the surgery kept getting postponed, so DH's ex just stayed.
His surgery is now scheduled for tomorrow, but his ex did return DSD on Friday like she was supposed to so he is not making a big deal about DSD missing school for now. He is just documenting it for later if attendance continues to be an issue once DSD starts Kindergarten in the fall.

Visitation Issues / Re: WWYD - great-grandparent in hospital
« on: Apr 18, 2011, 04:32:31 PM »
She said she will know more hopefully tomorrow or the next day - his "emergency" surgery hasn't even been scheduled yet.

Visitation Issues / Re: WWYD - great-grandparent in hospital
« on: Apr 18, 2011, 01:03:36 PM »
To be honest, if it was any other week, it probably wouldn't be a big deal. But since it's Easter, I'm going to worry all week that she is using this as a ploy to keep DSD over the holidays.
Of course, there's no way to know if he really is in the hospital or not. If he is, then like you said, the courts would probably side with her anyway.
I'm just PO'ed because she always finds way to do this crap and not get in trouble for it. I'm just tired of it. Not to mention I'm two weeks away from having a baby. DSD is going to start hating Easter because it turns into such a battle every single year. I just need to learn to let it go I guess.

Visitation Issues / Re: WWYD - great-grandparent in hospital
« on: Apr 18, 2011, 12:57:39 PM »
We are supposed to get her back Friday at 2:30.

Visitation Issues / WWYD - great-grandparent in hospital
« on: Apr 18, 2011, 11:08:04 AM »
Some of you know our history, some of you don't. In short, my husband does not have a good coparenting relationship with his ex. He has 50/50 custody, week on/week off visitation, neither is primary but he has final say over eduation, health, and extracurriculars.
Every year we have issues around Easter. The past two Easters, his ex has filed abuse allegations against my husband and DSD's first Easter was during the four months that his ex had taken off with DSD and refused contact (before they went to court). Oh, and one Easter DSD was 'too sick' to travel. So, we've already been anticipating there may be problems with this Easter even though we just recently had a CO modification.
DH's ex picked DSD up on Friday per the CO. She then took her to her hometown in TN without telling us (which is fine; she doesn't have to tell us but usually we do inform each other of out-of-town plans). DSD is in preK and we got a call from them this morning that DSD had not shown up for class. DH called his ex, and that's when she informed them they had went to TN. She is saying that the reason they have not come back is because while they were visiting, DSD's great-grandfather was admitted into the hospital for emergency surgery. He has had quite a few health problems over the past couple of years, but this all seems pretty coincidental. At the same time, however, we do not want to be unsympathetic if he really is in the hospital.
As some additional background, DH has already had issues with his ex not taking DSD's schooling seriously. We understand it is 'just' preK, but we feel this year is setting the precedent for DSD as far as how school will go. On the days that his ex has taken DSD to school, she has been tardy or absent 33% of the time. So needless to say, DH is NOT happy about DSD missing more school.
My question is, what are your thoughts on this? Is it necessary for a 4 yo to miss a week of school because of a great-grandparent being in the hospital (they are 5 1/2 hours away)? Is it unreasonable for us to ask DH's ex for the hospital information or some kind of proof that he really is in the hospital? If he really is as bad as she is trying to say and he does pass away, is it appropriate for a 4 yo to attend his funeral? I personally would never bring my 4 yo to a funeral but I'm not sure what other people think about that.

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