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Well be warned, proving what you claim here in the forums will likely be difficult.  And when you make your compelling case that he shouldn't be granted more custody time.

How would you propose to the judge that you know he didn't feed an infant?  How often?  Was the child malnourished?  Did he just take longer than you expected?

What medical attention was "absolutely necessary" and when?

Keep in mind, I'm playing the other side here - these are arguments you can expect in court.  You simply making claims isn't going to get it done, though you do have a decided advantage with custody and being the mother.

They're separate hearings and the court will NOT entertain a custody hearing on the same day as her petition to modify custody.  Further, if they do entertain her petition at a later date, they'll likely see it for what it is (retaliation for your motion for CS) if you have a good attorney.

You can file for an injunction to prevent the move-away pending a custody hearing.  You'll need to start making a compelling case, above-and-beyond her flaky moving habits and BF habits... better schools, better churches, proximity to support resources (friends and family)... start finding out where the child can be for childcare when you're working... etc.

You have to put your primary custodial plan in place long before you get to court.

It's clear she has a long and storied past in this regard and I don't think that there is much you're going to do as an NCP to help them realize the err of their ways.

Your only chance is to take custody of the boy and do it direct.  You clearly have a good case to do so, I'm wondering why you wouldn't pursue it.

There are general, vague communications clauses in almost every custody order, so yes - you can file for contempt of court and yes, a judge can find her in contempt.  Best you can do is continue to try to make contact.  Continue to document failures for callbacks or videoconferences.  Have at least one of your team be there as witness as they are able, you could use their sworn affidavits later or maybe they would even appear in court on your behalf to testify.

While it's unlikely that it will result in a custody change, these are the situations you use as the impetus to request changes to, not only the communications issues, but to the custody order itself in terms of the parenting time.  Just because you won't win it doesn't mean you don't ask for it.

This is very bad spot for you to be in and will only appear to the court to be a case of "buyer's remorse."  You signed an agreement for a really bad custodial arrangement and now realize it.  The court is probably not going to give you a second thought.

As for trying to beg and reason with a high-conflict ex, it won't work.  She has the upper-hand.  She has the last thing that she can use as a weapon against you.  She has all of the power and you have none.

Worse, the longer this order stays in place... the longer it will be left in place.  You're not in a good spot right now and that's a terrible, terrible shame for both you and the youngster.

Given the circumstances you're in and the distance between you, you must realize that you're going to have to climb an Everest-like mountain to accomplish this.

Custody evaluations are rife with pitfalls that are very difficult to get out from under.  Don't think for one second that a CE is going to spend enough time with your ex-partner and child to uncover systematic alienation to support your fears.

What is it that you expect your private investigator to find that would be compelling enough an issue to score you major points in a custody hearing?

How about we dispense with the notion that this is simply about child support?

Consideration should be made for both parents if there are no issues of parental fitness.  Regardless of what you believe his motivations to be, you've made no argument that calls into question his ability to parent. 

It's hard for someone to get "involved in their son's life" when the mother is working so hard to prevent that from happening.

Now, I'm not saying either side does or doesn't have any unusual motivations for it.  However, arguments over hidden income, what he did or didn't do "pre-birth," and how you feel about him aren't germane to the issue.

All that said, I see a lot of talk about child support being the mitigating factor for a father's wishes for custody... and last I checked, they're two separate issues.

Having more custody time with the child means more expenses incurred for having said custody.  The argument that any father is only doing it to get out of child support is disingenuous at best, and at worst - is an admission that whatever the child support is set at is unreasonably high.

You can't argue one side of the equation without the other.  Don't you think that if he was here posting at SPARC he would be arguing that the only reason you won't relinquish custody is to keep your child support figure high?

Think about that for a while.

My daughter is 14 years old, lives with her father and brother since the divorce. He has custody of them. She has wanted to come live with me for quite sometime but is afraid of what her father will do when she tells him. I filed the papers yesterday to get custody. So it is just a matter of time before he knows. In our parenting agreement it states, "Upon reaching the age of 14 years, the "mothers" visitation shall be arranged directly between "mother" and said child." So what will happen when she comes to spend the weekend and then refuses to go back to her father?

"Visitation" (a term I dislike immensely) is not custody.  You would have to work carefully with your daughter and explain to her that you have to follow a process in order to have her wishes considered by the court.

We live in West Virginia. I have tried to find a lawyer to represent me but they want $2500 up front and I just can not come up with that kind of money. I have tried to get legal aid and they say I make to much money. Does anyone have any advice that will help me Please?

Have you considered representing yourself?  With a little guidance and study, you could probably make a compelling case on your own.  It's not like you would be going up against your ex in a full-blown custody battle, you would be requesting a modification of the custody arrangement based upon the wishes of the child.  In addition to that, you can find other "considerations" to bolster your argument for the court.