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Messages - bloom6372

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Second Families / Re: what are step parents called?
« on: Jun 29, 2011, 11:15:01 PM »
I feel that no child should be forced to call a stepparent anything. As long as it's not disrespectful, it should be the child's choice.


And it can happen both ways, as an NCP, the CP had more children, and my obligation for my child went UP!  So essentially, I was supporting HIS children as a result.

This is one thing DH and I worry about... BM had another child, and we are pretty sure as soon as she can reapply for a modification in CS (next May), she'll do it because she had another child and chose to stop working because of the baby.
Personally, I feel both parents should receive a "credit" for additional children. However, I think it should be the SAME deduction for a credit. As I posted before, when doing the calculations using the state formula, my DH would get $300 total for our three little ones, and BM would get a $300 for her one little one. That doesn't seem fair. Additional children by either parent should be considered in the calculation, but they should be considered EQUALLY. It shouldn't matter which parent had additional children. Even if we had primary custody, because DH would still pay CS he would still have less of a deduction for his additional children than BM. Why should DH have to take from his children to provide for BM's new child? It's not his. My DH hasn't taken the credit for our younger children (wouldn't reduce by more than like $50, so why bother?), and still pays thousands each year in extras for SD (transportation, braces, co-pays, uncovered expenses, school supplies, tutoring, etc), in addition to providing for our other 3 children. Why should he have to support BM's other child, too? Either give EQUAL credits for both parents, or give no credits. Either way, things need to equal out. No parent's additional children should be more important in the eyes of the Court. BOTH parents knew their obligations to their "first" children, so if a CP can't afford a new child and chooses to have one, why should the NCP be required to pay more? Just like if a NCP can't afford a new child and chooses to have one, the CP shouldn't lose any CS.

Visitation Issues / Re: General Visitation Schedule
« on: Jun 23, 2011, 06:48:57 AM »
Read there--it will let you know the "minimum" of what the Court usually grants.

General Issues / Re: Step Parents rights.
« on: Jun 17, 2011, 11:48:30 PM »

Well the step mother didn't show up because she had "more important" things to do. My ex just sat and read his book the entire time. My son's surgery went fine and he seems to be doing well.

I'm glad your son's surgery went well... I hope he has an easy and speedy recovery.
I do suggest, though, that you look at what you wrote here...First you were upset she was going to be there because you didn't want her there. When she didn't show, you were upset because she had other things to do. Maybe she didn't show because she didn't want to step on your toes? Maybe she wanted to avoid any animocity? Or maybe she really did have other stuff to do. Who knows. My point is that you were upset when you thought she was going to be there, and when it turned out the way you wanted (her not there), you were still upset with her. It seems like you are looking for SOMETHING to be mad about with your ex and his wife. Try to turn the focus onto your son.. I've seen on here a lot of times "Love your child more than you hate your ex", and I think that could apply well here.

General Issues / Re: Step Parents rights.
« on: Jun 16, 2011, 11:30:43 PM »
If the only reason you don't want her there is because you are his mother and not her, I'm sorry to be blunt but you need to suck it up and put on a happy face for your son. If your son has no issue with her wanting to be there, and as long as she isn't creating a scene, why not let her be there to support him? I don't know if you have a SO/DH, but if you do, would you want your ex saying he can't be there simply because he is your son's father and not your SO/DH? If she is known to cause problems, then if/when she starts, politely ask her to leave. If I recall correctly, you are NCP, right? If so, I don't see how you can force her to not come, but you can make her leave if she starts a scene (the hospital staff can and will kick her out for the patient's sake). As the adults, we (biological and step parents) need to put aside their personal feelings and try to make things as easy as possible on the kids.

I looked up the parenting time guideline for Massechusetts...It pretty much says that up until 6 years old, it's best to try to limit how long the child is away from the custodial parent (*I* don't agree with that--a child needs quality time with both parents!)... http://www.mass.gov/courts/courtsandjudges/courts/probateandfamilycourt/afccsharedparenting.pdf Pages 14-15 (pdf pages, not pamphlet pages) are for children 3-5 years old. "If one parent was minimally involved in the child’s daily routine, a few days each week including a full weekend day will allow the relationship and caregiving skills to develop. As the child becomes more comfortable moving between two homes, additional time and one or two overnights may be added." I'm assuming the ex may try to use this as you are a long-distance parent. If he is almost 6, you can try to use the argument that for 6 years old and up, it states "At this age, it is important to maximize frequent contact with both parents."

Visitation Issues / Re: Won't give me a time for pickup??
« on: Jun 15, 2011, 10:45:06 PM »
Well, if he won't let you know, and you were kind enough to offer to take DS to the airport, I'd simply email or text him something like:
"I have tried on 2 occassions to set up an arrangement for exchange on Friday. I need to know what time you will be picking DS up from my home. If I do not hear back from you with a specific time by Thursday at 5pm, I cannot guarantee that I will be home when you stop by on Friday." This gives him a deadline for letting you know a specific time, shows you have tried in the past to work with him, and lets him know that you will no longer be willing to drive DS since he cannot seem to be polite enough to respond.

I've never dealt with a parent coordinator, so excuse me if I am asking something stupid--can they really just change what the CO says without putting it through the Court? I mean, I know they can give recommendations, but do those turn into a CO? If not, I'd assume that the CO still stands (regarding the 2 web calls a week)...Like I said, we've never dealt with them, so I don't know for sure, but it would seem *to me* they could only give recommendations...
As for the 4 weeks, I'd look into the state's guidelines for visitation. See what that says about summer.

I would second calling to verify. Call the program, call the college, and call the HS to get verification. If you have the time, I'd actually write to them so that you can get a response in writing.

I went to community college prior to moving onto a bigger university. In order to register, I had to have a diploma (or GED). I understand the program allows for HS students to register part-time and get credits for HS and college. However, I've never heard of a high-schooler being allowed to be enrolled full time in college and getting a degree prior to graduating.

What grade is your son in? Read this: http://apps.leg.wa.gov/WAC/default.aspx?cite=392-169-055
It states:
Running start program enrollment under this chapter is limited as follows (and as may be further limited for academic reasons under WAC 392-169-057):

   (1) An eligible student who enrolls in grade eleven may enroll in an institution of higher education while in the eleventh grade for no more than the course work equivalent to one academic year of enrollment as an annual average full-time equivalent running start student (i.e., three college or university quarters as a full-time equivalent college or university student, or two semesters as a full-time equivalent college or university student or nine months as a full-time equivalent technical college student).

   (2) An eligible student who enrolls in grade twelve may enroll in an institution of higher education while in the twelfth grade for no more than the course work equivalent to one academic year of enrollment as an annual average full-time equivalent running start student (i.e., three college or university quarters as a full-time equivalent community college or university student, or two semesters as a full-time equivalent college or university student and nine months as a full-time technical college student).

   (3) Enrollment in an institution of higher education is limited to the fall, winter and spring quarters, and the fall and spring semesters.

  (4) As a general rule a student's eligibility for running start program enrollment terminates at the end of the student's twelfth grade regular academic year, notwithstanding the student's failure to have enrolled in an institution of higher education to the full extent permitted by subsections (1) and (2) of this section: Provided, That a student who has failed to meet high school graduation requirements as of the end of the student's twelfth grade regular academic year (September-June) due to the student's absence, the student's failure of one or more courses, or another similar reason may continue running start program enrollment for the sole and exclusive purpose of completing the particular course or courses required to meet high school graduation requirements, subject to the enrollment limitation established by subsection (2) of this section.

Your son would be considered "graduated" after his 12th grade year. The program only lasts until requirements have been met for graduation. If he continues on to get his AA after 12th grade, you are not responsible for support unless otherwise stated in your CO or state law. He has to be a junior or senior to be eligible for the program. Once he's out of high school, he's just in college, not in the program.

File for an Ex-Parte Order (Emergency Order) for her to return the children to you on the grounds of the children living with you for the last 6 months. Be sure to include that she wants the children to live with her now and that she is requesting their passports. DO NOT send the passports. You will have to show proof of the children living with you (school records, medical records, etc with your address on them).

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