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Messages - Simplydad

Pages: 1 23 4 ... 11
11
Texas State Forum / Re: Step mom needs help for husband
« on: Jul 23, 2012, 11:26:26 AM »
Let her call her attorney as much as she wants.  If she wants to pay attorney fees all the time let her.   The thing here is your attorney replying to everything and that is going to cost you money.  If you are finding that all of the complaints are trivial I would tell my attorney not to reply to anything unless it has to do with a motion filed by the ex.

Has CPS been to investigate you on any complaint made by the parent?  If you are not doing anything wrong then the ex is going to be in a lot of trouble.  The Texas family code has a statute in it concerning false abuse allegations. If a parent files false claims the courts deal with them severely to deter this sort of thing.

Child Support is something that is handled by the attorney general.  If it has been more than 12 weeks I believe you can contact them and they will deal with it.  If she is working they will automatically garnish her wages.

12
Second Families / Re: Tired of drama/bull in my life
« on: Jul 23, 2012, 11:20:08 AM »
Thanks for the replys... I just needed to vent, lol. According to her he would be in contempt because she has joint educational rights and she doesnt approve of her missing the first 3 days of school. Thats why I called it drama and bull, lol. It not like its an every year thing, just a one time deal. She just has to have control over every part of her daughters life, I guess.
Thanks again :)

This is where confrontational parents think they have more power than they actually do.  They seem to think you can't make a single decision without their approval because they have joint custody.  The fact of the matter is that you do not need their permission for your sd to miss any school.

However you do need to be careful because some just look for any reason to make a complaint.  If missing the first 3 days of school impacts her grade (which I really doubt) it could be an issue.  The ex may want to claim educational neglect but that is a really far fetched claim because it would have to be proven that the three days missed was the cause of the issues.

Now this is just me....but I would tell my ex if they tried that crap that I would see them in court.  However do not take my legal advice....I am not a lawyer...LOL.....

13
Visitation Issues / Re: grounds for supervised visits
« on: Jun 28, 2012, 11:23:39 AM »
If the spousal abuse is documented it is definately grounds of supervised visits.  At least in Texas it is, that is one of the things that will guarantee supervised visits.  However it needs to be substantiated there is also sever penalties for filing false claims as well.

If the STBX has a history of violence there very well could be supervised visitation.

14
Custody Issues / Re: Gaining custody/temp custody
« on: Jun 19, 2012, 12:32:36 PM »
I concur with what Tigger said. 


The courts responsibility are to decide what is in the best interest of the child.  The other parent's  personal life does not matter unless it affects the child  We may not like the choices the other parent makes concerning their relationships but we are divorced/broken up and our opinions in that area do not matter.  The courts will not infringe on a person's civil rights because the other parent is upset by their choices.


While mom has moved often the question must be made as to how it is disruptive to the child.  As long as the child is still in the same school and his grades are not affected the courts are not going to involve themselves.


The key here is the best interest of the child.  It is the only thing that matters.  If your son is not being abused or neglected it may be an uphill battle.  The dental issues could be a start.  You will need to get a copy of the records to see if there has been some neglect there.

15
Custody Issues / Re: Chances of winning motion to set aside
« on: Jun 07, 2012, 11:53:15 AM »
You definitely need to file a response to her motion.  The reason she has a hearing is because the courts do not have the information that she was actually served.  So you would definitely need to get copies of the certified receipts.  Once you do that her motion is moot.


Did she have an attorney during the original process?

16
Custody Issues / Re: Chances of winning motion to set aside
« on: Jun 07, 2012, 09:12:29 AM »
File an ANSWER to her Motion.


Exactly....that is what I meant to say......thanks for simplifying it for me MB  ;D

17
Custody Issues / Re: Chances of winning motion to set aside
« on: Jun 07, 2012, 08:50:37 AM »
The judge may very well throw it out but as Mixedbag said you never know.  She filed a motion so she will be able to get to court to attempt to argue the case.  To stop it I think you only simply need to file a motion to quash base on the fact she was properly served. 

18
Custody Issues / Re: Chances of winning motion to set aside
« on: Jun 06, 2012, 01:24:49 PM »
If the notices were sent certified mail there is very little she will be able to do.  You are require by law to serve her but if I am not mistaken you only have to do so at the address she states she resides at.   Ignoring the letter is not enough to say she was not served.

Did she file this motion with an attorney or pro se?

19
Custody Issues / Re: High Conflict Ex
« on: May 21, 2012, 12:16:57 PM »
I spoke too soon. I had emailed him this morning telling him that since it was so last minute I would drop our son off to him in the morning but that in the future, he would have to pick him up since our agreement states receiving parent picks up and it's 30 minutes out of my way on my way to work (I know when he works nights he has off until around 3pm the following day). I just really don't have the time in the morning to be driving all over. I told him that I had no problem dropping him off at daycare if that is where he needed to go, but if he had to go back to his house, he would have to pick him up. Apparently he feels that he is doing me a favor by allowing me to have our son during the time he is at work and that he doesn't have to do it. I give up.


That issue is easily rectified since your agreement says the receiving picks up the child.


Simply tell him that per the agreement he has to pick him up.  Tell him what time you normally leave when you have your son.  If he is not there to pick him up then you will just drop him off at day care.

20
Custody Issues / Re: High Conflict Ex
« on: May 21, 2012, 12:14:48 PM »
Honestly, I have really tried to allow open communication between our son and his father. As of this past week, I was even going to setup an old laptop in my son's room so he could Skype with my ex-inlaws, in an attempt to move past everything they have done to me (including me having to get a protective order). Every time I try to do something nice for no reason other than I think it would be good for my son, they prove to me over and over again why I shouldn't. It's just so hard to decide at what point those conversations with his father are doing more bad than good. Every Sunday that we switch, I just wait for the nasty email that follows. It's like clockwork now, and I've learned to ignore them, but I genuinely worry about how things are for our son when he is at his dad's. He mentioned to me yesterday that his dad says bad words about mommy. I told him that he could talk to me about it if he wants, and that if it really bothers him, all he has to do is tell his daddy he doesn't want to hear it. I emailed my ex regarding this, in the nicest way possible and not accusing in any way. On a positive note, however, his dad did give me right of first refusal this morning. Maybe we are finally getting somewhere with that.


I think you need to stop trying to go above and beyond what you are required to do.  The high conflict personality considers this something you are required to do because it is all about them.  In their minds they think you are feeling guilty about something or are being submissive to them.   If they want something extra they need to learn how to politely ask for it.


I follow one simple rule when dealing with things I am not required to do.  I never do it.......unless my child asks for it.  If my son asks to call his mother without hesitation I allow him to do so.  If there is a special event that my son wants to attend with the other side I allow it to happen.  I will never in any purposely restrict access to the other parent. 


Concerning the comments your ex makes it would be best to ignore them but continue to let your son know you love him and that he does not need to worry about that.  Children are a lot more resilient and intelligent than adults give them credit for and in the end the child will eventually recognize where the problems lies.  If you can afford it or have insurance that would cover it I would seriously consider contacting a child psychologist and make an appointment for your son.  Child Psychologists are experts at getting children to talk and know how to help them through it.  If you do go this route you should contact your ex and give him the opportunity to be a part of this.  You can basically alternate appointments. He takes him one time and you take him the other.   He may decide to use this as another means to verbally attack you.....


Just remember it is not about you and it is not about him. It is about your son.

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