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#81
Custody Issues / Re: Ugly Custody Battle
Last post by ocean - Mar 28, 2019, 04:30:59 PMWhen is your next court date? Until court, keep offering to meet at a public place for a few hours each week (library, food place) so child can get use to him again with you there. Who is driving him to the school? Are they going inside? His lawyer is telling him ways to see child without you. What is the school policy on coming into school? Ask to talk to the principal about what they will/will not allow. Here a parent can not just walk in and have lunch, they can sign child out only or come in if invited by teacher. Who does dad live with? Does he have a bed/room for child to be there overnight? Split custody probably will not be given anytime soon since he does not live in school district and can not drive to and from school. Is there any schedule now in place?
#82
Custody Issues / Re: Ugly Custody Battle
Last post by MommyShark616 - Mar 28, 2019, 04:05:54 PMI have no idea what brought this on. He doesn't work or anything so there was never a reason before for him to not have time for his child. I got really tired of telling my 3-year-old why his dad was not coming to his birthday parties, school events, etc. so I always kept the communication open as an option but stopped initiating. This has always been about my child. If you walked in on your infant in his swing crying while his father slept in a narcotic-induced coma you would run for the hills too. But the threats were always coming in and he always made them in a way where I didn't have hard proof. Police and judges always shot down my requests for protection and it continues to happen. In my county, any requests for drug testing can take weeks and the parent doing the testing is notified about 10 days in advance - so of course, that is more than enough time to clean up the pills. I've tried temporary custody but they would not allow it because his father wouldn't agree to it even though there would be an official hearing at the end no matter what. Our lawyers have spoken about building a progressive schedule, so there is no shock to my son, but they swear they need to keep him at their house at least 3-4 days a week right now after a 2-year gap. I also didn't mention that they live nearly an hour from his school/daycare/sports practice and his father doesn't have a valid drivers license. I've spent all of this time making sure my son is happy and healthy and he is able to just jump in and mix it up. None of this seems like he actually wanted to see his son. It seems more like a spiteful situation than anything.
#83
Custody Issues / Re: Ugly Custody Battle
Last post by ocean - Mar 28, 2019, 03:43:20 PMIf the father is on the birth certificate he has laws the protect his rights as a father and he is protected to get school records, change school records to include him, and unless you have a court order with his days he would be allowed to sign child out of school. Many fathers use the school to have access to child when in a custody battle as the other parent is not allowing access. Do you have an court ordered visitation order now? If so, give it to the school and child will only be release if it gives end of school day on certain days to dad. If not, then file temporary custody and visitation as dad is showing up to school after 2 years of child not seeing him. Keep it about child. What brought this on for dad to file? If dad is serious, then maybe do a step up schedule where he sees child a few hours each week, then 1 over night , then every other weekend....Good luck!
#84
Custody Issues / Ugly Custody Battle
Last post by MommyShark616 - Mar 28, 2019, 03:01:27 PMMy 5y/o son has been in my de facto custody for his entire life. His dad was in and out of both of our lives the entire time and has drug and violence issues. It's been 2 years since any of us have heard from him and now he's filed for joint custody and requested partial-week visitation. Since the day my child was born, he has not been alone with him for more than a day or two at a time. Even at that time, I found out that he was dropping our son off at relatives homes so he can go and do whatever wherever.
When he was having regular visits with his son, he was always dropping him off early or I would have to contact him in the first time just to get him to even attempt to get his child. He never attempted real contact and when I had family emergencies (my grandmother and uncles untimely deaths as well as my sister's open heart surgery) and requested he watch his son for a day or two, but he would always come up with an excuse like he had a doctors appointment or had to work. Never valid reasons to avoid taking care of your child, so I ended up taking him to funerals and hospitals because there were no other options.
Recently, after our initial scheduling meeting, he began showing up at school and requesting to alter the emergency forms and access to the records without notification to me or the school. He came into lunch with our son at school and my son had no idea who this man was (he hadn't seen him face to face since he was 3). The school didn't let me know either so I had to find out through my son days later. When I spoke to the school they said they thought it was strange that this random guy who has never been on an Emergency Card or signed a single paper was there asking for this stuff, but didn't call me.
I previously had temporary protective orders against him because of the violence and drug abuse, but every time I went to court they made it seem like my requests were invalid even with my bruises and police reports. They also would not allow the protective order to protect my son, so emergency temporary custody filings are not an option. In the past, he has picked up his daughter (not my child) and ran with her while she was outside playing with her uncle and friends and just drove off without letting anyone know. Police officers knocking on doors and put out alerts and if he's done it before I believe he will do it again.
It just drives me crazy that he never attempted to contact me or request access for years and now he's doing all of this stuff and going behind my back and over my head. On top of that, I am pregnant and trying my very hardest to stay calm and collected for my health and my baby's but I am just SO FRUSTRATED! Advice, please!
When he was having regular visits with his son, he was always dropping him off early or I would have to contact him in the first time just to get him to even attempt to get his child. He never attempted real contact and when I had family emergencies (my grandmother and uncles untimely deaths as well as my sister's open heart surgery) and requested he watch his son for a day or two, but he would always come up with an excuse like he had a doctors appointment or had to work. Never valid reasons to avoid taking care of your child, so I ended up taking him to funerals and hospitals because there were no other options.
Recently, after our initial scheduling meeting, he began showing up at school and requesting to alter the emergency forms and access to the records without notification to me or the school. He came into lunch with our son at school and my son had no idea who this man was (he hadn't seen him face to face since he was 3). The school didn't let me know either so I had to find out through my son days later. When I spoke to the school they said they thought it was strange that this random guy who has never been on an Emergency Card or signed a single paper was there asking for this stuff, but didn't call me.
I previously had temporary protective orders against him because of the violence and drug abuse, but every time I went to court they made it seem like my requests were invalid even with my bruises and police reports. They also would not allow the protective order to protect my son, so emergency temporary custody filings are not an option. In the past, he has picked up his daughter (not my child) and ran with her while she was outside playing with her uncle and friends and just drove off without letting anyone know. Police officers knocking on doors and put out alerts and if he's done it before I believe he will do it again.
It just drives me crazy that he never attempted to contact me or request access for years and now he's doing all of this stuff and going behind my back and over my head. On top of that, I am pregnant and trying my very hardest to stay calm and collected for my health and my baby's but I am just SO FRUSTRATED! Advice, please!
#85
Moms Without Custody / Re: Hurt Strong Falsely Accuse...
Last post by ocean - Mar 20, 2019, 02:47:31 PMYou can go down to family court and ask to see if you qualify for a free lawyer (legal aid) to help you through family court. You would probably need to petition the court next to have unsupervised visits next and see if they grant that. Then after a while you can ask for more time and overnight visits. If the kids are old enough to be in school, get involved , go to school activities, ask to read in child's classroom, go on school trips. If the kids are involved in outside activities go watch them at dance class, base ball practice....You should be allowed in all public places to watch your child as long as it is not against a court order. Let us know if you qualify for legal aid. Bring your court documents with you and a one page history in order of what happened so they can catch up on the case. Good luck! (We are not lawyers, just people who have been through family courts for a very long time)
#86
Moms Without Custody / Re: Hurt Strong Falsely Accuse...
Last post by JazzyBoo28 - Mar 19, 2019, 05:54:50 PMMy first child is with my mom and my middle baby is with my grandmother. I have court ordered visitation not to mention it's supervised. The case is closed and my rights are not terminated. I have to pay child support also have a open case with disability. I am in South Carolina seeking major major help but I'll never stop fighting nor give up no matter what.
#87
Moms Without Custody / Re: Hurt Strong Falsely Accuse...
Last post by ocean - Mar 19, 2019, 02:18:24 PMWhere are babies #1 and #2 now? Have your rights been taken away through court? Do you have visitation with them at all? Is this a Child Protective case still?
Depends on what is going on but you need to jump through CPS hoops to get your children back. Call your child worker or their boss and ask what needs to be done next for you to start seeing your children and gaining custody back. What state are you in?
Depends on what is going on but you need to jump through CPS hoops to get your children back. Call your child worker or their boss and ask what needs to be done next for you to start seeing your children and gaining custody back. What state are you in?
#88
Moms Without Custody / Hurt Strong Falsely Accused Mo...
Last post by JazzyBoo28 - Mar 19, 2019, 08:40:48 AMI am a strong hurt and lost mother who's babies was taken without legal and proper investigation. Placed charges on me that was later dropped and dismissed 5 years later. Accused me of drug use which I came back clean took an old drug result from a previous miscarriage and placed the paperwork on my live baby. State had no evediance nor substantial facts to prove nor did they undergo a proper investigation. Took me to court 2 years later of being on my case. I had been in foster care from 2 until I was 18 when then I signed myself out. Got pregnant at 19 had my first born at 20. They jumped in my life when my son was 10mo old and didn't come to agreement with taking me to court until he was 2 years old. They left him with a stranger whom was not a foster parent nor relative. So much emotional distress and hurt with confusion. I've been attending and seeking mental health services and treatment since 1997 until today. I currently has custody of my 3rd baby and has since been arrested in 2018 for child neglect for the charge in 2013 which they let me out on bond and they dropped and dismissed all charges due to state not being able to provide reasonable doubt which I have ALL PAPERWORK and DOCUMENTS needed. I need my babies back and I've been searching for help and advice and assistance for years now. Is there anything I can do.
#89
Chit Chat / Need Help Regarding an Ancient...
Last post by nicollemaree - Mar 15, 2019, 03:11:07 PMHi! I've looked around for help on this but can't find it anywhere.
There's a very old post on here that I would like to inquire about, is there a moderator or someone that can help me?
Thanks in advance!
There's a very old post on here that I would like to inquire about, is there a moderator or someone that can help me?
Thanks in advance!
#90
Father's Issues / Re: Legal shared custody being...
Last post by Justabovewater - Feb 26, 2019, 07:52:17 AMI live in Kansas, Not California so I can only Give you what I experienced in Kansas. I was in the same situation, I was in court trying to get custody of my Children. The final Decision was they looked at who was the caregiver, Finances really had nothing to do with it. Since I was the one that worked and made the money to support the Family, She was the one that stayed home and took care of them, She was given Primary Custody. Afterwards she found Numerous Boyfriends, Moved the Children often and was not concerned about their education, I went back and received Custody. More Courts are starting to give Custody rights to Fathers then before. Hope this helps.