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Author Topic: settlement conference CA  (Read 8698 times)

mishelle2

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settlement conference CA
« on: Apr 18, 2007, 07:40:16 PM »
can anyone tell me what to expect at a settlement conference?


HelpingHands

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RE: settlement conference CA
« Reply #1 on: Apr 19, 2007, 08:27:48 AM »
Both parties will present 'their best offer' at that time. So have your parenting plans ready, your visitation schedule spelled out, etc and back up plans to the items you know the other party will not agree to. Then you will basically argue your points with the other parent and visa versa until you both come to an agreement/settlement.

Usually the attorneys will tell you what you should ask for during the settlement conference and what your chances of getting more than the other party is agreeing to at that time, IF it goes to trial. It's your option to move forward with your action or settle with the other parent. Once you settle and the attorneys and parents sign off on the settlement agreement, they will bring it before the judge to have it entered as ordered.

Jade

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RE: settlement conference CA
« Reply #2 on: Apr 19, 2007, 08:59:41 AM »
>can anyone tell me what to expect at a settlement
>conference?

Depends on what type of settlement conference.  My ex and I had a 4-way with our attorneys.  We reached a clear agreement.  My ex reneged.

My attorney scheduled a settlement conference with the judge.  The only people allowed in the judge's chambers were our attorneys.  My ex and I had to wait outside.   Did it help settle?  That all depends on the parties involved.  

Your lawyer should be able to tell you exactly what to expect.  

mishelle2

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RE: settlement conference CA
« Reply #3 on: Apr 19, 2007, 11:02:13 AM »
ok..?  dh has been going through custody/visitation issues for years.. seriously years.. well this time bm is the one who took him back to court cause she wants him to have less time.. but what I found strange was that at the last appearance our atty said plan on going to a hearing (which we were planning, and had done before) then bms attorney stood up and said I would like to schedule a settlement conference, no we all know his client has NO intention of settling, I am wondering if after he read the mediators summary that he is going to try to get bm to settle, summary said that the court cautions mother about allowing her father to make racial remarks about son... I am just confused as to why the attorney who doesnt want to give up time would ask for the settlement conference..

notnew

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RE: settlement conference CA
« Reply #4 on: Apr 19, 2007, 11:30:31 AM »
Whatever happens at settlement, your DH should NOT agree to less time with the child period.

He should come with his proposal in hand which is to either keep what is currently ordered in place, or increase his time with the child.

What in the world was her basis for reducing the time anyway? For any changes, there has to be a major change in circumstances. I am shocked this even made it to a hearing.

The mediator WAS supposed to aid in reaching a settlement.

If no settlement is reached, then it will proceed to trial. Based on your postings, I think your DH should be prepared to carry it to trial. She is most likely not going to budge on what she wants, but it is worth a try in the settlement conference.

Good grief. I am suprised that DH lawyer did not object to the motion by opposing counsel.

He should NEVER give away any time unless the COURT takes it away and that should be only after he has fought it using every possible argument possible.

What a witch BM is being.

I hope things work out for the best.


mishelle2

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RE: settlement conference CA
« Reply #5 on: Apr 19, 2007, 11:45:13 AM »
YES.. THIS HAS BEEN AN ONGOING UPHILL BATTLE.. DH DIDNT EVEN FIND OUT HE HAD A CHILD WITH HER UNTIL HE WAS 2 1/2 AND WASNT ALLOWED TO SEE HIM UNTIL HE WAS 5 1/2.. WE HAVE BEEN TO COURT MANY TIMES, IN THE COUNTY WE LIVE IN YOU  DONT NEED TO SHOW A CHANGE IN CIRCUMSTANCE..YOU JUST HAVE TO HIRE AN ATTORNEY. WE HAVE BEEN THROUGH A HEARING BEFORE AND WE ARE PREPARED TO GO AGAIN, LAST TIME WE ASKED FOR 50/50 AND THE JUDGE INTERVIEWED SS WHICH IS WHERE EVERYTHING WENT WRONG.. BM AND HER PARENTS DID A NUMBER ON HIM AND HE SAID HE DIDNT WANT TO BE WITH DAD  MORE.. THAT WAS 2 YEARS AGO.
BM IS ASKING THAT THE JUDGE INTERVIEW SS AGAIN, EVEN THOUGH WE HAD HIS COUNSELOR WRITE A REPORT JUST THIS WEEK, SAYING HE WANTS TO SEE DAD MORE.

THE REALITY IS, BM'S FATHER IS A RACIST, I HATE TO SAY THAT.. BUT HE MAKES RACIAL REMARKS TO SS ABOUT DAD OFTEN AND HAS CALLED DH A "N" IN THE PAST.  SS'S EXTENDED FAMILY DENIES THAT HE IS 1/2 BLACK. SO....IF WE GO TO A HEARING.. ITS ALL COMING OUT.. THE GRANDPA IS EXTREMLY NEGATIVE AND WONT KEEP HIS MOUTH SHUT!!

WELL HE GOES TO THE SETTLEMENT CON. AT 130 SO SAY A QUICK PRAYER..

AND DONT WORRY.. HE WONT AGREE TO LESS THAN HE HAS ..HES ASKING FOR 50/50 AND WILL MAKE HER FIGHT TO PROVE HE SHOULDNT HAVE IT.

notnew

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RE: settlement conference CA
« Reply #6 on: Apr 19, 2007, 12:53:07 PM »
I SEE YOU ARE VERY EMOTIONAL ABOUT THIS!!! LOL - You know caps is shouting.

When  you go to trial, you need to have the counselor available to testify. I am not sure the written document will suffice since opposing counsel can't question it or the counselor. The court may not allow it as evidence. The counselor in person would be better.

make sure if you bring the counselor in,the child's right to psychological privledge has been waived!!!

Good luck!

mishelle2

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RE: settlement conference CA
« Reply #7 on: Apr 19, 2007, 01:30:29 PM »
I realized I was shouting.. after I hit post..lol

The counselors report was ordered by the court, therefore it is allowed.. but we will definetly call the counselor as a witness, as she will have I believe to be the deciding testimony..

But we have others in mind to call too....

In my opinion and I realize I am bias, this case is baffling, my dh .. doesnt even have as much as a parking ticket, yet this has been such an uphill battle, some courts and judges are bias to one side or the other, and this time it has been for the other, our atty.. who is known to be the best in town says this is one case he looses sleep over cause he has gotten people with criminal pasts more than he can get my dh and it drives him nuts.. so he said we are pulling out all the stops this time.. (hes a really good attorney.. a straight shooter and doesnt run through your bank account just cause he can)

So wish us luck... my dh is there right now.. we'll see what happens.. hopefully all tides will turn to our side..
Im praying...

notnew

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RE: settlement conference CA
« Reply #8 on: Apr 19, 2007, 04:35:23 PM »
I'm praying too. Let us know what happens.

mishelle2

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RE: settlement conference CA
« Reply #9 on: Apr 19, 2007, 06:36:52 PM »
ok, well ... the judge wants to interview ss on monday, which in my thought process means were screwed.. mom has him this weekend and they will have worked him over the coals so much by monday that he will say whatever they want him to say. Which is what happened last time..... hopefully he'll be soooo coached that the judge says.. well wasnt hat obvious..

Ill worry all weekend.. put your faith in the system.. and for us.. it has failed.. and rewarded a woman for not telling a man about his child,. sad,,extremely sad

mishelle2

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UPDATE..
« Reply #10 on: Apr 22, 2007, 05:18:27 PM »
OK ALL I KNOW IM SHOUTING.. CAUSE I NEED EVERYONES HELP, TOMORROW MY SS GETS INTERVIEWED BY THE JUDGE AND WE HAVENT SEEN HIM IN  AWEEK.. WE ALL READY KNOW THAT HIS MOM IS VERY GOOD AT COACHING HIM SHES DONE IT BEFORE JUDGE DIDNT SEE THROUGH IT LAST TIME..

SO EVERYONE PLEASE STOP TOMORROW MORNIN AROUND 11 AM PACIFIC TIME AND SAY A PRAYER FOR THE GUY IN CA THAT JUST WANTS TO SEE HIS SON MORE


THANKS

mishelle2

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he was interviewed
« Reply #11 on: Apr 23, 2007, 08:33:02 PM »
ok all... the judge interviewed him today, we didnt see him at all before he went into chambers... he was in there 7 minutes.. yes 7... then court sec. said that she would put ruling in letter and send it to each atty. because bm's atty wasnt present (he was in another court room in chambers..)
When we seen ss downstairs with his grandpa..(who hates us) he wouldnt even say hi to his dad, dad said.. hey .. your allowed to talk to me.. then he said I love you and his son just looked down.. he looked very upset.. I think he was extremely coached but we'll see if the judge seen.. she didnt see last time.. I just dont know how she can decide the outcome of our entire lives in a 7 minute interview...Ill keep praying.. but I think our hearts are going to end up broken.......again............

at what point do you say your done.. that when ss decides that  having a father is important to him that we'll make an effort........................................... .......................

notnew

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RE: he was interviewed
« Reply #12 on: Apr 24, 2007, 04:43:31 AM »
You'll know when you are ready to be done.

We did EOW and EOH for 6 years. The alienation sometimes got intense and sometimes backed off, but it was always there.

Last go around in court, there were so many lies told by my ex and my child that I've given up.

My child is 13. I have talked to my child about 5 times since last August and seen her 1X.

I hope things went better, but it sounds like it was the same judge. 7 minutes is not long enough. And from the actions of the child in the court with BM's family, I think you may be right about being disappointed in the outcome.

Sad situation and I wish I had a better answer.

HelpingHands

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RE: he was interviewed
« Reply #13 on: Apr 24, 2007, 05:46:02 AM »
you have a sad little boy who is probably ashamed of himself that he lied to the judge and then couldn't look dad in the face. he sounds like he's definately been coached- and - he probably knows the evilness from the BMs side that he rather not piss them off and went along with everything they told him to say. Kids are impressionable and unfortunately, parents are sick sometimes.

Hopefully, your ss acted as down and depressed in front of the judge as he did in the courthouse and the judge was able to see right through the coaching.

My daughter had behaved the same way every court visit(she wasn't supposed to be there to begin with) when with her bm's evil side standing over her, she wouldn't look over(if she did- they'd get in her way, physically grab her face and bear hug, act as they were hugging her- to distract her), she was told to stay away from us and was not ALLOWED to give us hugs, etc. Eventually, it all came out. Not only did she have her like this at home, she also did it in the courtroom/courthouse- judge was told exactly what was going on- and when judge asked why- bm's reply?- "cus it's not his court ordered visitation time" Judge blew a gasket, told her she is his daughter ALL the time, and ordered that a visitation occur after court and for a few days following, while I was in town for a visitation!!!

If the same issues continue to rise, and you are repeatedly back in front of the judge, they will get tired of seeing you in there. If she's in the wrong all the time- with your proof, the judge will finally get enough and do something.  At least we can all hope!


mishelle2

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RE: he was interviewed
« Reply #14 on: Apr 24, 2007, 11:06:41 AM »
if that were only true, this has been going on for 7 years.. in and out of court year after year.. we offer major "proof" (LCSW wrote letter)yet for some reason this judge just doesnt like us.. shes insinutated that dad just wants c/s lowered even though weve NEVER filed for a modification EVER.. and we buy all ss clothes, athletic supplies.. school supplies etc.. and mom doesnt work.. ..shes only worked 1 year in his entire life!!
judge also implied we keep draggin mom to court.. we were there this time on mothers motion.. she wanted dh to have less time!!!

 ss is 13 his eyes were puffy and blood shot.. right now we have him eow, tuesday for a few hours  and 1/2 summer and holidays.. which all in all isnt bad..  

the one good thing about this is... our atty is the best in town and he was sooo tired of the alienation.. he didnt charge us a dime.. not a dime... she had to pay her atty 300 an hour 2500 minimum.. and she couldnt ask for atty fees cause she didnt ask for it in her moving  papers!!! so..  shes not walking away with a win either.. our atty said we wont get less time.. we may not get more.. but we wont get less......Thank god for that I guess...

so.... I guess I should look at my glass as  half full ..  well see what judges ruling says hopefully by Fri.. I ll let you all know....

mishelle2

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UPDATE
« Reply #15 on: Apr 26, 2007, 08:13:16 PM »
well you will never believe this.. the judge took time away from dad.. the judge is supporting the mothers alienation of my dh.. can you friggin believe it..

jilly

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RE: UPDATE
« Reply #16 on: Apr 27, 2007, 06:37:13 AM »
Unfortunately I do believe it.  Your attorney never should have said that the judge wouldn't give the Dad less time because this judge obviously has a problem with your DH.

I'm sorry that your family is having to go through this.

mishelle2

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has anyone heard of this?????
« Reply #17 on: May 04, 2007, 09:58:20 AM »
ok, so my dh attorney went in front of judge yesterday for clarification on her ruling and then she said that it was her intention to limit dads time with child after her 7 minute interview with him, and that she thought the only problem in childs life was his father. Our atty told her taht that was extremely prejudicial and bias for the mother and that we werent even given an opportunity to respond to mothers allegations due to when she filed her paperwork (day before court), therefore she is making a one sided determination. The judge said well if your client wants to be heard he can come next week and he and I will have a chat in chambers. Our atty has been practicing family law for 30 years.. he has never had this done with a client, but he said, what the judge is counting on is this big ol black  guy (hes got 20 inch arms  on him) to come in there and act uneducated and ignorant, and intimidating.. but what she doesnt realize is as soon as he opens his mouth she will see he is the nicest guy she will meet.. soooo were hoping its a good thing

Have any of you ever heard  of judge talking personally in chambers with only one party present???

notnew

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RE: has anyone heard of this?????
« Reply #18 on: May 04, 2007, 10:22:52 AM »
No. This seems highly unusual.

I think something is wrong and you have a basis for a complaint against the judge. What does your attorney think?

mishelle2

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RE: has anyone heard of this?????
« Reply #19 on: May 04, 2007, 11:10:00 AM »
My attorney thinks that he can get a sex offender straight outta prison more time than he can get my dh.. we have asked him how can we get her off this case, he said its virtually impossible as she is the one who reviews and approves  the requests for dismissal. We will have to see what happens next week, we will take it to the top if we have to..  the problem is that in this town the attorneys dont want to piss her off.. cause if you do.. shell screw you on every case in front of her for a month!!

I need to do some research.. but Im not really sure where to start..

mistoffolees

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RE: has anyone heard of this?????
« Reply #20 on: May 04, 2007, 02:16:35 PM »
>My attorney thinks that he can get a sex offender straight
>outta prison more time than he can get my dh.. we have asked
>him how can we get her off this case, he said its virtually
>impossible as she is the one who reviews and approves  the
>requests for dismissal. We will have to see what happens next
>week, we will take it to the top if we have to..  the problem
>is that in this town the attorneys dont want to piss her off..
>cause if you do.. shell screw you on every case in front of
>her for a month!!
>
>I need to do some research.. but Im not really sure where to
>start..

I agree that it doesn't look very plausible that you'd get anywhere with this judge. Your best shot would be an appeal.

Unfortunately, an appeal is time consuming and expensive. Even worse, judges have a huge amount of discretion in custody cases, so it't not clear that there are even grounds for appeal. Sure, the judge's actions look very biased, but all he has to do is say that he investigated and found sufficient reason to reduce the DH's time on the basis of whatever is alleged to have gone on.

If your attorney has 30 years of family law experience, your best bet is to work with him and do what he says. It could well be that he'd have a chat with the judge when DH goes in for his 30 minutes and explain that he's going to have to file an appeal. It's hard to threaten a judge and win, but that might be all that's left.

Other than hoping that the judge retires and you can find cause to file a new case.

 

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