Separated Parenting Access & Resource Center
crazy gamesriddles and jokesfunny picturesdeath psychic!mad triviafunny & odd!pregnancy testshape testwin custodyrecipes

Author Topic: Father that Needs Help  (Read 5351 times)


  • New Arrival
  • *
  • Posts: 3
  • Karma: 0
    • View Profile
Father that Needs Help
« on: Oct 16, 2006, 11:14:25 PM »


My Name is ------. I am writing you this letter because I am a distressed father in need of help. I know your time is valuable so I will be Quick and to the point.

About a year and a half ago I researched and filed a petition against the mother of my child because she would not let me see my daughter. For the first six months she denied I was the father of our daughter until the courts forced her to take a paternity test. The reason why she was so reluctant to take the test was because she was married at the time she had the affair and got pregnant.

I retained a lawyer and for about a year I did not receive a bill. During this time child support and daycare was set.

Because of my inexperience I racked up 3000 dollars of attorney fees, and when I really needed my attorney she dropped me as her client because I could not pay the amount all at once. I also feel that my inexperience allowed the mother of my child to get away with a lot of outrageous thing because my attorney was not working in my favor.

Now I have no attorney, I can’t afford one and the mother of my child is refusing to let me see my daughter because I fell behind in child support. My daughter’s child support comes straight out of my check but recently there was an increase in support and my job has not implemented it yet. So because I have not paid this back child support she feels it is ok to keep my child from me.

The reason I am writing you is because I know that you are and professor and you are up to date with family case law. I would like to know if you could help me in any way. What ever help you give me would be greatly appreciated. My daughter and I THANK YOU for taking the time to read this.



  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 214
  • Karma: 1
    • View Profile
RE: Father that Needs Help
« Reply #1 on: Nov 08, 2006, 09:16:36 AM »

We dealt with IL for 13 years.  First, child support and visitation are not connected.  If you have visitation ordered, send a certified letter(find it on the forms section), notifing the ex of the impending visit.  If she refuses, make sure it is done in writing.  Attenpt the visitation, meet somewhere neutral, such as the police department.  

Do you have explicit visitation spelled out?  If not, you REALLY need it.

If ex doesn't show up send another letter certified of a denial of visitation(also in the form section).  Keep every peice of documentation.  Document telephone calls too!  Don't get in it with the ex, just tell her you called to speak with your daughter.  If she gets belligerant, hang up.  Tell her if she wishes to speak with you, mail it.

You can still get an attorney if you owe one.  I am paying 2 attorneys in IL and in the process of trying to retain one in TX.  Make sure they will take payments and keep them up!  Make sure you make at least a small monthly payment to the one that left.  Get documentation of her hours.  If she dropped you before court, make sure she is not charging you for work she didn't do.

As to child support, make sure your company gets on the ball.  A company usually only has about 2 weeks(?) to start the corrected support action.  Try and make a small amount (say $5-10) per pay period.  Pay it to the Circuit Clerk of your county and and make sure you send a check or money order and a SASE and ask them to send a reciept.  MARK very clearly on the money you send it is for arrears!  
This will show the courts that you are serious about catching up, it puts you in good faith with them and chances are they won't assign anything extra.

If possible, don't answer the phone when ex calls.  Let the answering machine or voice mail pick it up.  There is no notice of privacy attached to these.  Save them and they are able to be used in court if they are relevent.

I hope this helps.


  • New Arrival
  • *
  • Posts: 3
  • Karma: 0
    • View Profile
RE: Father that Needs Help
« Reply #2 on: Feb 04, 2007, 10:14:08 PM »
Check the Resources section on the Web site for the Illinois Alliance for Parents and Children from time to time.... you might find some helpful info there.

newbielink:http://www.illinoisparentsandchildren.org [nonactive]


Copyright © SPARC - A Parenting Advocacy Group
Use of this website does not constitute a client/attorney relationship and this site does not provide legal advice.
If you need legal assistance for divorce, child custody, or child support issues, seek advice from a divorce lawyer.