Tulip where are you???????

[Sunshine1]

I hope everything is going well on your end.  You have been extremely quiet!!  I hope you had a nice and blessed Easter.

Still keeping you in my prayers and thoughts and hope all is well.
Feel free to come in here and post some time so we all know you are doing ok :)

Sunshine1

[tulip]

Hi Sunshine!
I haven't been here in a long time. It was getting too depressing for me, and I've been really busy because I started college. But something happened today, and I needed to check in here. It's so nice to know that you are still thinking me and my family. Here's an update:

The kids are doing great in school! SS is still in therapy, but sd quit going because the couselor couldn't get her to talk about what happened with her bm, and other than that situation she is doing great in everything.

BM still isn't doing drug testing so she can see the kids. The few times she has seen them over the past year have been bad. The kids miss her, and want her to get it together, but ss is really frightened of her, and they are both angry about the way she keeps jerking them around. They are supposed to talk to on the phone every day, but a lot of times they don't want to, and dh doesn't push them to, since she hasn't done any of the stuff she's supposed to be doing.

BM said she was moving to AK because she lost her driver's license, and can't work, so she can't pay her rent, but last week in cs court she said there was no way she would even consider moving to AK. She told the kids over the past month that she was definitely doing this, so there's one more lie they've heard from her.

We are going back to family court in a few weeks, and bm had told dh that she was going to ask the court to force him to send the kids up to AK for the whole summer. She's not even doing what she has to do to exercise her supervised visitation now, why would he send them thousands of miles away to spend the summer there?

We got the papers she filed today. She is motioning for unsupervised visitation, make-up parenting time, and that the divorce decree be amended to state that if she is non compliant he can only withhold the visitation immediately following the incident, not indefinitely. Her affidavit was completely rambling with accusations dating back over the past four years, which were either lies or half truths. I was accused of physically assaulting her.

Seeing all those lies made us both really mad today. But most of the time, it just makes me sad. I don't want the kids to have to go through this anymore. BM knows what she has to do to be a mom, and she won't do it. I wish she would just go away, but mostly I wish she would give this garbage up and straighten her life. Her kids are going to forgive her, and I want to forgive her, but how can we get on with it until she will sober up and start being honest about it? The papers she submitted to the cs magistrate state that according to her doctor, she has no problem with chemical dependency, even though that has already been proven and admitted.

[hisliltulip]

Oh Tulip, it just never ends, does it?

She's grasping for straws, still playing the victim.  She has done NOTHING to prove herself.

It's a hiccup, nothing more, the judge will see through her crap.

She wants her kids, and the drugs.  Well, she can't have both, it's one or the other.


Hang in there, you and DH have done beautifully.

[Sunshine1]

Ohhhhhh Tulip, the pile of crap never ends does it?  Just when the whole reason I ever came to this site was because of PBFH, I have embarked on a whole new battle with my BF's PBFH, yep you guessed it "THE SM".

On a happier note our situation with our niece w/ the meth parents has gone from bad to good.  She is now living with her grandparents, as they live in her school district and mother is TOTALLY out of the picture as far as visitation "unsupervised".  Father is meth free but a total loser but is a great part-time parent.  Judge(s) all agree she should have regular visitation with extended family (namely us) and in a 4 months span and extending to the end of the school year the social worker is in on the same page as the guardian and the child is a COMPLETELY different child in grandparent's care and should stay there.  Teacher has personally seen to it that everyone is aware that this child is not better off in the hands of her parents.  Personally, I believe she deserves a raise!!

We should email eachother..if not for support then at least for someone to yell at!!  :)

Hope all is well Tulip!  

Sunny1!

[tulip]

No, it doesn't look like it's going to end anytime soon. We went to court on Monday. The only thing that changed is that BM will have to take her drug tests through the corrections dept now instead of on her own. That is a good thing, but dh has to try to get the judge to inform the corrections dept that he needs to know the results.  Tomorrow is mother's day. SS really wants to give his bm the gift he made for her, sd doesn't really care if she sees her or not. BM seems to be under the dillusion that she has a legal right to spend the day with the kids because it's mother's day. DH is going to bring them over tomorrow evening for a little while after we get back from visiting my family. He's going to stay there with them. Actually, he hasn't talked to bm about it yet, so I don't know if she will agree to let him come over there, but that's the only way he's bringing the kids there right now.

I'm glad things are going better for your neice. It makes me so sad when kids get trampled over in their parents' messes. My mom adopted my nephew last year because she's been raising him since he was a baby (he's ten now.) His parents pretty much abandoned him, and he's got some psychological problems from the whole thing. The adoption was supposed to help with that, so he would feel like he actually has a mom and a dad.

I'd be happy to start e-mailing you, Sunshine, but right now I can't email anyone! I have this new computer that I'm having a little trouble with. I'm computer stupid, so I will probably have to call somebody to help me out, but I can receive e-mail, I can't send it. I'll let you know when I figure it out.

[lucky]

Hey Tulip!  Maybe I can help a bit with the email issue -- not my forte, but they made me take some troubleshooting classes for my degrees, so I can try. :)

What are you using for email?  Outlook, Outlook Express, something else?

Also, what is the name of your email provider, like mine is "charter.net", try the part after the @ sign and I can try that first.

[em]Lucky

Lead your life so you wouldn't be ashamed to sell the family parrot to the town gossip.
- Will Rogers[em]

[tulip]

I am using Outlook Express, and my provider is peoplepc.com. I don't know if that helps you w/ any answers or not, but if you have a suggestion, great!

[lucky]

You may have already tried this or had someone else set your computer up, but here's the steps I'd try:

1) Open Outlook Express and click the "Tools" menu
2) Click the "Accounts: menu
3) Select account and click "Properties" button
4) Click the "Servers" tab (2nd tab from left)
5) In the boxes, make sure the following text are in each:
    [UL]a)  Incoming mail (POP3)   should be: mail.peoplepc.com
    b)  Outgoing mail (SMTP)   should be: smtp.peoplepc.com
    c)  Account name              should be: your whole email address
    d)  Password                    should be: your password (masked with dots)[/UL]
6)  Click the "OK" button.
7)  Click the "Close" button.
8)  Close and re-open Outlook Express and send a test email to someone.

I hope that this helps you because I do not have any better ideas.

[em]Lucky

Lead your life so you wouldn't be ashamed to sell the family parrot to the town gossip.
- Will Rogers[em]