You won't believe this!!

[flewwellin]

I was just on another forum for step moms and step families, and there was a woman on there who said she was upset cause her husband wanted 50/50 custody of their 12 & 8 year old!  Not as if that is bad enough she used being a stay at home mom (he allows her to stay in the family home and reside still not working) as being the reason she should only allow him to see his kids every other weekend!!!!  This man has worked a full time job 75 miles away from the family home in order to provide a comfortable life for his family and now she is trying to persecute him??!!  That is crazy!  I had to post my opinion on there that she had to remember the Father has just as much right to his sons as she does, and that the only reason she was a stay at home mom was because HE worked a lot!  It just truly ticked me off to read her post.  I had to share this with you guys, it's like every other woman that posted "Felt her pain" yeah right they all would feel the same way.  It just disgusts me and I am a soon to be mom and a step mom of 2 it just makes me sick the way some women think!!!!!

[MYSONSDAD]

Good for you! I would love to see the replies on this one!

Sad part is, many moms do feel this way. They have no respect and do not understand the importance of the father.

Hope you can give them a good education...

[flewwellin]

yeah I went to site again today to check on it, and surprisingly there was another angry mom on there!  It just completely ticked me off that this woman thought she had the right to try and keep these kids from their fathers!!  For some reason women just don't understand that a child isn't whole without their father in their lives.  They can try to make replacements (ie step fathers, new boyfriends, etc.) but it's not the same.  In my family we try to promote obviously the for their father (I have 2 step kids) and the love for their mother.  I don't expect or even want to be called mommy by them because I am not.  I am their step mom and friend.  I love them deeply but they have 2 wonderful parents.  I have however seen the more difficult side of custody and moving out of state issues.  My husband didn't have the financial means to obtain an attorney for any of the court hearings, so in my opinion the courts and ex screwed him.  I don't know, but because of my experiences, this woman and her ridiculous post angered me to a point where I couldn't ignore her ignorance.

[joni]

It's called maternal entitlement or maternal gatekeeping.   Google it.  Interesting theories.  Mom is indispensible, monopolizes the children, no one can do it as well as mom so many moms don't even give the dads the opportunities.  This even occurs in intact marriages.

[flewwellin]

Yeah I believe it.  It is so disgusting and hard to think that a woman would want to hurt her kid by not allowing them to see their fathers.  These women need serious help.  Maybe both parent should have psychological screens before the placing of the children happen (for custody purposes) and the kids may have a better chance of having a good life.

[iwalmd]

Doesn't surprise me at all.  I wish these Moms would wake up and realize that every child needs their Dad just as much as they need their Mom.  They need BOTH parents.

[flewwellin]

I am a woman and I would NEVER take my kids away from their father ( I am having my first this fall) I just can't imagine why women do this?!

[MYSONSDAD]

http://www.angryharry.com/reMaternalGatekeeping.htm

"Children learn what they live"

[KimK]

Its amazing the extremes some go to to hurt Dad.  My husbands ex has filed false police reports on us for holding the child hostage at a sporting event, (found to be false) child neglect (also found to be false) in violation of a restraining order (found to be false) has stalked us multiple times (tesitified to in court and admitted but the judge did NOTHING) admitted that she was the physical abuser in the marraige during cross examiniation on the stand (the judge did nothing) and has been found in contempt for visitaion denials and told by three judges to make up time, and refused to name dad as a parent on the childs school records for multiple years, was found in contempt but still does it, why?  So dad can not get the child at school (we have been denied that becasue dad was not named on the records) and becasue then they do not have to send us school info.  Amazing huh?

[MYSONSDAD]

1. access3.htm
Access To School and Medical Records State Statutes - OH Through WY and DC Access To School and Medical Records State Statutes - OH Through WY and DC Return To State Index Page Return To Articles...
URL: http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/access3.htm - size 57kb - 21 Oct 2003
 
2. Access To School and Medical Records - State Statutes - LOUISIANA Through NORTH DAKOTA
This page contains information on accessing your child's school and medical records, including a list of State Statutes related to accessing school and medical records.
URL: http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/access2.htm - size 80kb - 20 Oct 2003

3. Access To School and Medical Records - State Statutes - ALABAMA Through KENTUCKY
This page contains information on accessing your child's school and medical records, including a list of State Statutes related to accessing school and medical records.
URL: http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/access1.htm - size 29kb - 20 Oct 2003

4. Obtaining Your Child's Medical Records
This page contains information on obtaining your childs medical records, which you are entitled to as a parent. Techniques and ideas are provided, along with a time-tested letter that can be modified to suit your particular needs.
URL: http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/medrecords.htm - size 9kb - 20 Oct 2003

5. Access To School and Medical Records- State Statutes & General Information
This page contains information on accessing your child's school and medical records, including a list of State Statutes related to accessing school and medical records.
URL: http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/access.htm - size 12kb - 20 Oct 2003
 
6. Getting Access To Your Child's Report Cards And School Records
Having trouble geting access to your child's report cards or other school records? This proven form letter can get you the school records and information you want.
URL: http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/reportcards.htm - size 13kb - 20 Oct 2003

7. Do These Letters Really Work?
Do Our Letters Really Work? You bet they do! Quoted below are a just a few of the comments received about the School Records and Medical Records form letters. As you can see, these letters get results.
URL: http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/results.htm - size 21kb - 09 Nov 2003
 
8. ''Request for Records'' Letter (Version 1)
This is our standard letter requesting access to your child's medical or educational records. This letter has a formal, no-nonsense tone, and should be used if you expect the school or doctor to be non-compliant or uncooperative with your legal request for records.
URL: http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/recrequest1.htm - size 8kb - 20 Oct 2003
 
9. ''Request for Records'' Letter (Version 2)
An alternative letter requesting access to your child's medical or educational records. This letter has a softer, less aggressive tone than the standard letter we offer.
URL: http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/recrequest2.htm - size 5kb - 20 Oct 2003
 
10. ''Request for Records'' Letter (Version 3)
This is an alternative letter requesting access to your child's medical or educational records. This letter has a somewhat softer, but still formal tone than the standard letter we offer.
URL: http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/recrequest3.htm - size 5kb - 20 Oct 2003

"Children learn what they live"

[KimK]

Thanks for the info but we have tried all that, but becasue dad is not listed as a dad the school is not obligated to give us anything.  Additionally, we have corrected our info for the last 5 years via letter to the school, ie names, numbers, siblings, contact info etc.  All gets changed as the school says the custodial parent can call at any time and change the info, even with a mediator that has ordered her to make the correct changes we once again this year found out that dads "work" number was mysteriously her friends cell phone and had been changed sometime in between last August and April.  

According to the schools attorney the ONLY thing the school is obligated to send a NCP is the report card, not the midterms, not field trip info, not the normal emergency contact info handed out at the beginning of school, no picture order forms NOTHING!  We have asked for copies of the papers that go home weekly with the child, but those are not considered records.  The schools answer was to have the child come down to the copy room at the end of the day and copy them for us, nothing like putting the child in the middle and putting his mom in  a poor light that the court order says NOT to do.  One of the things we typically get is that  they are not a named party to the court order so they do not have to provide any info, even though the court order states that both parents have the right to obtain any information regarding the child from any third party.

As for the medical records, HIPAA has taken care of alot of that  - mom refuses to provide medical info even doctors names and numbers and has even gone so far as to put restrictions on the accounts which we do have information on but no more time money or resources to go to court anymore, after 11 years we are about drained financially, mentally and physically.  The doctors for the attorney have even given us information on her refusal to give us information on the child and they will not divulge anything to us.  The child came to us this summer on 4 medications and no note as to why or what they are for and how to dose, only a note that she knows what she has to do and take and when.  

[flewwellin]

My Dh and I haven't had the financial status to be able to go to court. Neither one of us has any assets to liquidate, his credit was screwed up when the divorce was finalized, he pays a lot in child support monthly, my credit is maxed out (what little I have) with a car and a mortgage and a small mastercard.  There is no one that we know that will let us borrow money.  Either they dont' have it or they think it's not worth fighting about.

[CORSET]

OMG this iss too much
one post asked why would a mother do this to their child, because its a control situation.  we are going through this very same situation. and today husband recieved paper work from Bm attorney giving husband seven days to answer to the request and if not she will petition the courts to change the custody agreement
there is one statement in the stipulation that makes hits this all on the head and it does not take a rocket scienctist to figure her out, she want father to have two non back to back weeks with the father,, mmm very interesting, i hope the courts catch on to this,,
also, the son has not called the father..
the mother is also a stay at home mom, according to the son she is on the internet all day....

yes i agree many would love to fight for their kids but just have the money...
thanks

[flewwellin]

I swear the more I am on this site the more I hate our judicial system!!  The kids are who get screwed in the long run, oh but don't forget this is all in "The Best Interest Of The Child"  Excuse my language but BULLSHIT!

[kitten]

LIVED it with my DH.  He provided for his ex and their 3 children to be a SAHM, this is AFTER he paid for her college education to be a teacher which she only did for 2 years!  She got permission to move the children from No. CA to Alaska (most on this board know our story).  She said her new husband (along with $1600.00/mo. child support) could provide for her to continue to stay at home.  The judge said that both parents were equally capable of providing a stable home, but that since the children were accustomed to mom being at home that he would allow her to move them over 3000 miles away from their dad.  He has not seen them in 8 months.  Happens all the time.

[bhedges]

I am a victim of this. My ex has it set that I cannot get my son out of daycare even if she becomes in capable of getting him. Only her friend can get him out without special permission. If I have to pick him up, she has to sign a release. It upsets me that in a emergency I cannot have access to my son.

[flewwellin]

I'm sorry that this happens a lot but it still pisses me off!  I dont' understand why court systems don't care ( because I know they see it) and don't do anything about these spiteful parents!

[dontunderstand]

Two words...sick and wrong!  BM in our situation tells SD that "she doesn't have to work because she gets checks in the mail"  HAHAHA...if only we all could.  Makes me believe there is more going on with mommy dearest and her extracurricular activities...