Separated Parenting Access & Resource Center
crazy gamesriddles and jokesfunny picturesdeath psychic!mad triviafunny & odd!pregnancy testshape testwin custodyrecipes

Author Topic: I have no rights  (Read 1339 times)


  • Guest
I have no rights
« on: Aug 01, 2005, 04:03:32 PM »
I have a major problem.  My ex-gf and I went to mediation last December and got all the visitation and child support issues settled.  Then in February, I changed jobs and made the current visitation schedule impossible for me to follow.  I spoke to my attorney and we put in for a change of days for visitation.  The reply to this I got a notice that she no longer wants to stick to our agreement at all, increased my child support (it is now more than my mortgage) and will not let me see my child.  My attorney says that if she won't let me see him then I can't see him.  I would like to go for custody, but my house is too small for him to live with me and with the amount of support I pay, I cannot afford to move someplace larger at this time.  I, also, cannot change jobs or I will not be able to pay the majority of my bills.  Apparently, because I need to change the days of visitation and she won't stick to the rest of the mediation agreement, none of it is valid.  I don't know what to do.  It is starting to feel like my attorney is not being of help and that her attorney will just keep going until I am bankrupt or just decide it is not worth the hassle (which I know is what my ex is hoping for).  Throughout all of this she has broken the law and harrassed me.  All of which her attorney is calling "harmless pranks".  She should have some leagal ramifications for her actions.  HELP!


  • Sr. Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 1011
  • Karma: 0
    • View Profile
RE: I have no rights
« Reply #1 on: Aug 01, 2005, 04:17:27 PM »

you need a new attorney...yesterday

that statement of "My attorney says that if she won't let me see him then I can't see him." is TOTAL BS and not true.  You have rights to visit your child and you have rights to have your visitation schedule changed.

You need an atty who's certified in family law.  Go to this site to find one



  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 411
  • Karma: 0
    • View Profile
Ditto Joni's post
« Reply #2 on: Aug 01, 2005, 11:33:02 PM »
Interview many atty's And read on this site there is a section in the menue's about atty selection ,
 I also advise watching a trial , Or even An hour here or there when you can slip it in ,
 You really need to understand the weight of what joni put in her post , Just don't react , Be a good parent And get an atty that will file a New parenting plan with the court , It should be fairly simple , And just make it to be about what the other one say's and change the day's ,
 Of course she will keep up the conflict , If you just file and get it done then the conflict will be over , The judge or commissioner will decide . then you have to file contempt if she messes with your visits , The court isn't as weird as you think , Watch some similar cases , Call the court ,
 And a bunch of atty's and ask what part your case will be heard in , Like In washington state , Pierce county , For parenting plan modificatyions , You go see a commissioner at first , if you are not happy ,Then You can file a motion for revision and go see a real judge ! , I was really suspect of the system , And fearful , But just think it's a matter of every day processes down at the court , And it's going to be very hard for her to interfere , When you have already had an agreed plan in place , The court will be likely to ponder what her problem is , ITS JUST A Process , Interview a bunch of atty's and read atty selection on this site This is temporary , if you don't call it to the courts attention it wont get adressed , Personally I can't believe an atty told you that !and you should roport to the Bar association in your state !


  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 630
  • Karma: 56
  • Been hanging out since 1998... I think.
    • View Profile
Was your mediation agreement filed with the court?
« Reply #3 on: Aug 02, 2005, 08:18:58 AM »
If not, you technically have no leg to stand on, BUT you have a well set precidence to get a good order.

It will take court. And your Ex will continue to be that way unless her behavior becomes uncomfortable for her.. in other words, you can have all the court orders in the world, but if she isn't afraid of the consequences she will not change. (In our case, DH's ex is sweet and nice when she is dating and a PBFH when she breaks up with her boyfriend. We have had to deal with PBFH for the last 2 weeks.)

If the agreement was filed with the court, request a minor modification. You are not asking for any more time, just a change of days as the current schedule is untenable due to your work schedule. Send your ex a letter requesting a return to mediation to change the days you have possession of your child. If she fails to come to the mediation table then you move on to court. Take this one step at a time and document any time you are denied. Ask for a specific day for a specific day change each week until the agreement is changed or a new plan is ordered.

As for more Child support, if you are paying at guideline level do not change it until court ordered. Sock away the amount between what you were paying and what you are paying, because if she gets what she wants in court, you could have automatic arrears back to the date of the filing. If she has not filed, and there is no motion before the court for CS increase, they will not rule on it.

In my state, the CS guidelines and statutes state how often and under what circumstances you can modify the amount and terms. Here it is every 2 years BUT if the obligor loses a job, then they can file for a change. If your ex GF is on any kind of state aid, the state is a party in the child support hearing too.

A true soldier fights, not because he hates what is in front of him, but because he loves whats behind him...dear parents, please remember not to continue to fight because you hate your ex, but because you love your children.


  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 411
  • Karma: 0
    • View Profile
In light of 4honors post
« Reply #4 on: Aug 02, 2005, 04:56:57 PM »
I have to say I need to pull back a bit from my other post , If there is no parenting plan signed by the court , The you "don't have a leg to stand on" 4honors post is correct , And My reaction to your post would be unessesary , You just need to get a parenting plan signed By the court ,
 And yes as ridicolous as it all gets , Just follow through , I did, and while my case was as difficult as every one else , It is solved. and She doesn't mess with me , Except some nasty atty letters , Here or there , I see My son regularly , and he is a good boy and it is all worth it !


Copyright © SPARC - A Parenting Advocacy Group
Use of this website does not constitute a client/attorney relationship and this site does not provide legal advice.
If you need legal assistance for divorce, child custody, or child support issues, seek advice from a divorce lawyer.