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Author Topic: I need help and advice  (Read 867 times)


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I need help and advice
« on: Sep 18, 2005, 12:09:20 PM »
I don't know where to begin, so here goes.  I got married in 1985 and I was this womans 4th husband.  This was my first marriage.  I thought that we were in love, I know I was at the time.  I was also in the Navy then.  No sooner than we were married then she got pregnant.  I was delighted at the time because I had wanted children.  Then we moved behind her parents house into a house that they owned.  Their reasoning for having us do that was that at the time we lived across town and with me going to sea she would have some help from her mother while she was pregnant.  No sooner then we get moved over there she decided to throw me out.  I moved into the barracks at that time and we communicated and reconciled.  I moved back in and it was not 2 months later that I come home on a Friday and find all of my belongings packed and in the livingroom waiting for me.  I told her at that time I was not a yo yo and that if this is what she really wanted that I was going to seek a divorce.  By the way I had just paid all the bills at that household so I did not have any money.  I moved in with a person that I was stationed with and he helped me to get a place of my own.  In the meantime I have still been communicating with my wife.  I asked her how much money she wanted me to pay at that time and she informed me that she did not want anything until the divorce was final.  Well she found out from someone, (I believe it was her father because he was retired Navy.) That she was entitled to 1 half of my gross pay.  She then proceeded to call my Commanding Officer of the squadron that I was attached to and informed him of the situation and asked him to assist her in getting my pay.  The C.O. informed me that until I got the case into Civilian court that He was ordering me to pay her the money.  I immediatly sought a lawyer to get the case into court. He mediated the situation and I had to pay $150.00 a month until the baby was born.  I was also informed that I could not be granted a divorce in the state of FL. until the child was born.  The child was born on the 18th of April 1986 and the divorce proceedings were scheduled to continue in July of that year.  We went to court a couple of times before the final decree which was at the end of July.  I had pushed for weekend vistation but when the final decree came down I was ordered to pay $250.00 a month support and I had visitation rights upon reasonable notice to the wife.  I got to see the child for the first time 1 month after he was born.  I was disharged from the Navy in 1987 for misconduct after 5 years of service.  I did not get to see my son again until 1989 and he was three years old.  And that is the last time that I have seen him.  Everytime she got a new boyfriend or remarried I was not being allowed to see the child.  She would not even allow me to bring him his Christmas presents because she was going out of state to visit her new husbands parents.  Even though I was continuing to pay support.  It seemed like everytime I tried to give reasonable notice to my X she would always have other plans.  I also hit upon hard times when I was unable to pay my payments infull and because her cousin is a lawyer he would have me back in court at the drop of a hat.  When I finally did get somewhat back on my feet and had the support payments garnished from my wages she somehow got the support raised without me ever going back to court!  I was notified of this when I received my pay check and saw that the support amount had been increased!  I left Fl to try to get away from being dragged into court every other month.  I stopped paying support altogether for a while and then resumed making payments in 96.  I had made arrangements through Social services in Fl to pay 151.22 a month even though I was still not being allowed to see my child or even having a way to get in contact with my Ex-wife or the child to try and get to see him.  When I informed Social Services of this they told me they could not help me, that they were not allowed to divulge teh phone # so I could give reasonable notice to visit my son.  In 99 I finally was able to get in touch with her brother-in-law and he informed me at that time that she was on husband #6 and the child support I was sending her was not being spent on the child, that it was her beer and cigarette money. So in anger I quit paying anything again.  I had some money in a bank account that was seized in 93 by the Finnacial institution data match.  I still refused to pay her another dime because I have not been able to see how my son was being cared for after what her brother-in-law had told me.  I just recently received a letter from the state of Fl. Dept. of Revenue Child support division and have been informed that I was being pursued for past due support in the amount of over $30,000.  I need help and advice on how to handle this.  I would like to find a lawyer that handles parent alienation cases because if I had been permitted to see my son I would have gladly paid the support.  Because of what happened in my first marriage I have not remarried or had any more children.  This is my only child that I have had no contact with since 1989.  And this was not my choice this was her's.  I know this was a long post but I NEED HELP AND ADVICE on how to handle this.  My son is 19 years old now and I know my x has poisoned him against me.  My mother, his grandmother has never seen or had any contact with my son either.  I need to know what rights I have and what legal venues I need to pursue.  If this is not the correct place to post this please move it to the correct forum.  Thank you.


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