If you have a long work history and have been faithfully contributing to Social Security, did you know that you are worth more alive than dead to her? And that isn't even taking your life insurance into consideration!
My son's father died almost 6 years ago, when DS was 13. At the time, my CS was $250 a month, something that his dad and I mutually agreed on and was NOT ordered thru the court (long story). So when he died, I was told that DS qualified for
SS survivor benefits. Every child under the age of 18 or still in school is entitled to these benefits if a parent dies. Because DS's dad was only a few years from retirement (in his case, he had been contributing significantly to SS based on time, not income), DS's initial benefits were over $600 a month! Imagine my surprise! And over the next 5 years, that gradually increased to $750 until DS was no longer eligible, when he graduated from HS.
On top of that, that money must go to a 'conservator', usually the surviving custodial parent or whomever has guardianship. They are required to report yearly to SS as to how the money is spent, but as long as you say you spent the money on the child, they take your word for it.
So whether it's your life insurance or not, you're worth more to her dead than alive. It's gruesome, but it's a fact for almost ALL non-custodial parents. So if they want to argue for your life ins., tell the greedy PBFH that Social Security basically takes over for CS, leaving life ins. for what it's truely meant to cover: burial expenses and any unpaid debt left by the deceased that has to be satisfied. In this day and age, good luck if there's anything left after that........