An open letter to SPARC and Brent

[nerd]

Dear Sparc Administrators,

I am a little confused. I have been reading the many many post made by Brent on this board. I was under the impression that this board was set up to help parents learn how to protect their rights and raise their children in a way that benefits the children. I was under the impression that this board was designed to help parents not bash women.

I will admit that I have not read SPARC’s Mission Statement but would like to request that you post a link and make it public so that people do not confuse what you are here for.

I realize that I do not have to read Brent’s post, no one has to read them for his message heads are graphic enough. I thought that this was a family board and yet we are exposed to the foulest language, the sickest reports, and posts that clearly are not family oriented but instead lend an atmosphere of “The War of The Genders!” Have I been so naïve as to think that this board is here to help both male and female?

I have not read posts from anyone who has taken it upon him or herself to tell the vilest stories about males. Why do you allow this sort of war mongering to go on so frequently? How can women who are NCP’s feel comfortable seeking help from SPARC only to blasted away at by a person who is clearly a “woman hater?” And can a person who generalizes about women in a clearly demeaning and mentally abusive way, really be a person who will help without bias, or letting his personal hatred get in the way? I am not talking about the news stories that he seeks out, but his personal references made about women in general. that includes me and every woman on this board as well as the wonderful professional women who offer their time to help people on this board.

I for one am tired of his generalized female bashing. He cannot even make up his mind what part of the female he wants to bash, so he just bashes everything! One post he is bashing stay at home moms, the next he is bashing working moms.

SPARC needs to make up its mind just what kind of board you want to be. You have a good thing going here. Please don’t let it be ruined by hatred, gender bashing, and sick, vile, posts, especially when the posts are irrelevant to what you are trying to accomplish here. It is truly embarrassing. I think Brent has some real issues here and it does not look good for SPARC.

I know this will probably get me kicked off the board, but surely there is somewhere else out there an old woman can go to that doesn't have someone posting NUMEROUS times a day and in NUMEROUS places, trying to make me feel like scum because of my gender. I thought he was an administrator of this board? It is not very professional behavior. If he did that sort of thing on a job, he would be fired! that should tell you that it is not appropriate.

This is not the place for this sort of thing. Men and Women come here for help. Brent needs to take his need to gender bash to separate board, and let this one get on about the business of helping parents, female and male learn how to raise the children properly after divorce. Thank you for your time and trouble.

[Indigo Mom]

You have to "get" Mr. B.  He adores women.  Those who know exactly "what" they are.  He clearly despises feminists...those who drag the rest of us down, and yes, he posts up the wazoo about them.

I like reading his silly feminist articles because I usually "get" him right back.  Have fun with Mr. B...he's kewl beenz.  

[Brent]

I'm sorry you feel that way. I'm not trying to bash you or women, and I'm sorry that you percieve it that way. I post a variety of things, some general, some specific, and yes- some show women in a less-than-perfect light. Sorry, but I won't censor myself based on your personal feelings.

Here's a link to the mission statement:

http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/about.htm

And here's what it says:

Mission Goals

The SPARC Web Site is a 501(c)(3) Non-profit organization with one primary goal, which is to ensure that children of divorce have access to both parents, regardless of marital status.

To accomplish this, we have several specific secondary goals, which include:

- assisting non-custodial parents (especially fathers) in obtaining fair and equitable custody arrangements;

- disseminating information on Parenting Evaluations (also called Custody Evaluations);

- raising awareness of issues that fathers and non-custodial parents face.

If I post something that makes you feel bad, please understand that's not my intent. As for posting often, well, that's what I do. There's no limit on the number of times you or I or anyone can post. Many of the things I post are of a topical or "newsy" nature. If you don't like them, you really don't have to read them. It's not mandatory. :)

This board is titled "Custody Issues". Most of the custody issues in today's society are about fathers; that's just the way it is. There is no "mother's rights movement" because there's no need for one, but fathers are at a disadvantage in this society and much of what I post relates to that. You have my sincere apologies if it makes you feel bad or uncomfortable, but that's the reality of current times.

I don't post anything with the express intent of dumping on women or bashing women. I do post things that relate to discrimination against men and the hypocrisy that is wielded against them every day. Again, if this makes you feel uncomfortable, you have my sincere apology, and I'd ask only that you not take it personally. It's not meant to be. If you aren't comfortable with reality and the way the world is as it relates to men, you may not like some of the things I post. Best not to read them in that case.

Sometimes my language is coarse. If that's your most serious complaint, consider yourself lucky.

You wrote:

>How can women who are NCP’s feel comfortable seeking
>help from SPARC only to blasted away at by a person who
>is clearly a “woman hater?”

Please show me what you believe to be my "woman bashing"- I'm curious to know what it is. Who knows, I may even change, if I feel your viewpoint has merit. :)


>I know this will probably get me kicked off the board,

Well, I doubt that. Dissent is welcome here, as are your comments. Very, very few people have ever been kicked off of SPARC, 5 or 6 as far as I know.


>but surely there is somewhere else out there an old woman
>can go to that doesn't have someone posting NUMEROUS times
>a day and in NUMEROUS places, trying to make me feel like
>scum because of my gender.

I think this says more about you than me- I do NOT post things trying to make you feel like scum, and I''m cusrious to see some examples of what you mean by that. 99% of what I post comes from public news sites. I find articles of interest (yes, often to men) and I post them here. Some portray women in a bad light, but that's reality- women don't walk on water any more than men do.

Again, if I've offended you, you have my apology, but don't expect me to radically alter the way I live and post in order to avoid offending you.

[Brent]

>You have to "get" Mr. B.  He adores women.  

Actually, I do adore women, and that's the truth.



>I like reading his silly feminist articles because I usually
>"get" him right back.  Have fun with Mr. B...he's kewl beenz.

Well, thank you, I appreciate that. I understand that she may take offense at some (or most!) of the stuff I post, but heck, ya can't please everyone. (Did you notice I said "heck" instead of that other really bad word? See, I can change! :) )

You know, when I read article after article about men doing bad things, I don't take it personally. It's reality- there are some bad men out there, but I don't take offense when I see them on the news, in movies, magazines, television, etc etc.

[Brent]

>I have been reading the many many post made by
>Brent on this board.

Hmmm, I just looked, and the fact is, I hardly post on this board at all. (??) Do you mean the Fathers Issues board, perhaps? That's where I do most of my posting. I rarely post here on Custody Issues.

[MKx2]

be careful!  You're starting to sound like you really might be a nice guy LOL!

In all seriousness though Brent ... there are times that I read some of your posts (the articles you post) and ... I really do feel a little less than the worth of a piece of doggy-doo-doo.  Perhaps it's because I identify with the word "woman" simply because I AM one!  And I despise those women out there who are less than responsible and accountable when it comes to so many of these issues - in particular the feminazis (I could barely type the word it is so vile to me).

I wouldn't expect you to change your style of posting for anyone ... but ya know, the occasional post where you sound like the nice person you probably are would be nice - LOL not that you care if I think you're nice, just that it would be ... what ... I can't think of any word other than "reassuring."

And OT here, I DO think women should register for the draft, although I don't know how safe you or any other man would feel with one next to you in the middle of a PMS rage or breakdown on the battlefield!

[Peanutsdad]

Are you KIDDING???

A woman in the throes of PMS??,, sheesh, just point em at the bad guys,, let em excercise that anger ;)


I feel safer already.

[MKx2]

PD!!!!!!  Don't you relaize the DANGER of that?  Don't all women become TOTALLY  irrational at that time???  For GOD's sake man!  That woman might become TOTALLY disoriented and decide YOU are the enemy and shoot you!

I know that we are "trainable" to some extent, but ya gotta understand  during a PMS rage we fall under the "temporary insanity" gig!

I should be ashamed of myself - my 22 year old great niece is being deployed next week to Iraq for the second time ... I pray she'll stay safe.  She has an 18 mo old son waiting for her return.

[Peanutsdad]

LOL, ok MK, so we point em at the bad guys,, and pull the good guys WAYYYYY back outa harms way.

My prayers for your great neice. War is a shitty business for anyone to learn about. There are some lessons,, I dont think any civilized human being should have to learn.

[richiejay]

I guess you are entitled to your opinion, but I have found that most, if not all of Bren't posts, refer to a news article or something similar that are truly bashing men.  I have gone back to see what could be considered vile or sick and have come up with nothing that is gender-bashing.  Feminazi bashing, now that's another story. The majority of most people on this board are men, and in a custodial world full of women I find it refreshing to see someone defend things that are unjust from the perspective of a man (or non-custodial parent).  To say that I am insensitive to issues of a feminist is also a joke...I married one.  Oh, and I'm also a custodial parent.