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Author Topic: Gender biased Legal system  (Read 6136 times)

njfireeater

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Gender biased Legal system
« on: Feb 20, 2004, 08:01:31 AM »
I am very confused about the legal system.I have always believed in the legal system,I still do...to some extent.But recently I am finding out that it is gender biased.I was divorced for about 2 years now. My ex has repeatedly made false allegations against me during these 2 years in hope of gaining sole custody of our son so she and her boyfriend can leave the state and so she does not have to answer to me. All of the allegations against me have be found to be unsubstantiated.The last set of allegations against me I was eventually arrested for(even though the police didn't want to)and spend 24 hours in jail.Dyfs took my son away from his mother and placed him in a foster home because of evidence that she was putting these things into his head and telling him to make up things.Eventually all the charges have been dropped against me And I should be Getting physical custody of my son within the next 2 weeks.The confusion is now how come nobody is going after my ex for what she has done.Besides the lieing and me having to spend 24 hours in jail and spending an ungodly amount of money to defend myself against these lies,there is the emotional trama that she has caused to my son.first off being alinated from me.The emotional distress he has go through having to live in a shelter for 5 months.And the physical,having to go through 2 rape kits in 2 different hospitals in one day.Why isn't anybody bring charges against her?The prosecutors office filed crimainal charges against me with no physical evidence,but is not doing anything to her when they have witnesses and evidence against her.My lawyer tells me that nobody likes to prosecute a mother because of the publicity it will draw.But what about my son,how can i raise him to believe in the legal system when the legal system is not doing anything to protect him.Is my attorney right?


jilly

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RE: Gender biased Legal system
« Reply #1 on: Feb 19, 2004, 08:02:15 AM »
You're attorney is right...the system won't do a thing to your ex.  However, that doesn't prevent YOU from trying to prosecute her for frivolous/false charges. I'm not sure what State/County you live but it might be worth checking in to the statutes of your state to see if you have that option.  I would also go to the message board for Socrateaser. Read the rules for posting on that board and ask him if he thinks you have a possible cause of action against your ex. You should look in to getting your son in to therapy to help him understand (as if that's possible!) and/or cope with the abuse he's had to deal with due to all of this.
Good luck to you and your son.

Jill

njfireeater

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RE: Gender biased Legal system
« Reply #2 on: Feb 19, 2004, 08:40:45 AM »
My son and i are already in therapy together.That was one of the reguirements for me to get physical custody.It is for us to build our  relationship and for me to also help him get over this

Dave

StPaulieGirl

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RE: Gender biased Legal system
« Reply #3 on: Feb 19, 2004, 10:23:03 AM »
I was thinking civil action, is that a possiblility?  I hate it when liars get away with everything.  

Congratulations to you and your son!

Davy

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RE: Gender biased Legal system
« Reply #4 on: Feb 19, 2004, 10:40:12 AM »

"I was thinking civil action, is that a possiblility? I hate it when liars get away with everything."

Geesh !!  I guess some refuse to GET it !!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Geesh !!

Congratulations to you and your son!


njfireeater

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RE: Gender biased Legal system
« Reply #5 on: Feb 19, 2004, 11:04:36 AM »
Thankyou...I don't have custody yet though...I don't want to get to over confident...My lawyer said civil suits as well...but she has nothing to sue for

Indigo Mom

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RE: My "favorite" subject!!!!!
« Reply #6 on: Feb 19, 2004, 11:25:57 AM »
For any type of suit...like defamation or civil...or whatever, You have to be able to prove, in court, that your ex knowingly made a false accusation with malicious intent.      Even if you can, what's she going to get?  Without a prior criminal history, she'll be let out MAYBE with a few hundred in fines (again...MAYBE)...but it will be a slap on the wrist.  If she "has" a prior criminal record, she might do a week or two (MAYBE)...but I've found out that false reporting to the police is a MISDEMEANOR!!!!  (should be a fricken felony)

When YOU are falsely accused of a felony, the stakes are high...but for her, the false accusor...it's a misdemeanor?  UNREAL!!!!!!!  Put that shit on a "fairness" scale and see which one hits the floor.

Check this out.  I faced 6 years for the crime I was falsely accused of.  If I had filed a suit against my ex?  He'd be told he's a naughty boy and to never do it again.  bad baby, you did a naughty!!!...WTF?????  My ass was on the line!  My life was on the line!  And his life is what?????   His life went on as usual...and continued making false accusations, even though he wasn't "believed" any more...they kept a comin!  Even though the police "knew" he was all about making false accusations, our lives were turned upside down each time the idiot lied to the police.  

Now, this gets even more disturbing.  You were found not guilty.  Wassat mean?  LACK OF CREDIBLE EVIDENCE AGAINST YOU!!!!!  Doesn't mean ya didn't "do it"...even if you didn't...you had the charge, and yes, it WILL affect jobs in the future.  The prosecutor "failed" to show evidence you did this crime, but it doesn't mean ya didn't do it. "omg...that fire eater guy was charged with rape, and then charged with this, and this, and this. it says he wasn't guilty, but whatifhedidit?....let's hire this other dude".  The "cloud of suspicion" is over your head for a looooooong time.  

Your life is destroyed by a false accusation, and it never ever ever goes away.  There's NOTHING to prevent a person from falsely accusing another of a crime, there's NOTHING that will happen to them once found to be the pathetic little weasel liar they are. We ALL know you can lie through your f*cking teeth and not a DAMN thing is gonna happen to you.  

My opinion is this.  You falsely accuse me of a crime which makes me face 6 years in prison?  Your ass does 6 years in prison when I'm found not guilty.  BAM...now shut the f*ck up and enjoy your vacation with bubba!

Hows that????  Think exes would think twice about calling the police for bogus charges?

njfireeater

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RE: My
« Reply #7 on: Feb 19, 2004, 12:00:45 PM »
all i can say is wow..lol.The charges against me were dropped because of evidence that DYFS and the prosecutors have showng that she put these things in my sons head...They have witnesses that have seen her tell my son what to say and then watched him repeat  it word for word.They have psych evals where my son says that hes mother told him to make up stories about me. I seriously believe that even if they had a video taped confession from her that they wouldn't do a damn thing.I am not so concerned about what was done to me but surely  something can be done about the mental abuse she has put my son through...I feel that by putting my son through 2 rape kits...she legally had him raped

njfireeater

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RE: My
« Reply #8 on: Feb 19, 2004, 12:00:45 PM »
all i can say is wow..lol.The charges against me were dropped because of evidence that DYFS and the prosecutors have showng that she put these things in my sons head...They have witnesses that have seen her tell my son what to say and then watched him repeat  it word for word.They have psych evals where my son says that hes mother told him to make up stories about me. I seriously believe that even if they had a video taped confession from her that they wouldn't do a damn thing.I am not so concerned about what was done to me but surely  something can be done about the mental abuse she has put my son through...I feel that by putting my son through 2 rape kits...she legally had him raped

StPaulieGirl

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RE: Gender biased Legal system
« Reply #9 on: Feb 19, 2004, 01:28:33 PM »
Oh I "get it" Davy.  When it comes to liars, they come in both genders.  They seem to get away with everything, and suffer no consequences.  They daintily step over the wreckage of the lives they've destroyed with their lies....unlike their victims, they lose no sleep over what they've done.

My grandma had a saying.  "A liar is worse than a thief, because a liar can hang an innocent man".  


StPaulieGirl

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Amen
« Reply #10 on: Feb 19, 2004, 01:36:30 PM »
My opinion is this. You falsely accuse me of a crime which makes me face 6 years in prison? Your ass does 6 years in prison when I'm found not guilty. BAM...now shut the f*ck up and enjoy your vacation with bubba!

[p]Hows that???? Think exes would think twice about calling the police for bogus charges?


Wouldn't that be nice?

Your life is destroyed by a false accusation, and it never ever ever goes away. There's NOTHING to prevent a person from falsely accusing another of a crime, there's NOTHING that will happen to them once found to be the pathetic little weasel liar they are. We ALL know you can lie through your f*cking teeth and not a DAMN thing is gonna happen to you.

Sad, but true.  I'm waiting for the next "shoe" to drop.

Davy

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RE: Gender biased Legal system
« Reply #11 on: Feb 19, 2004, 02:38:18 PM »
No, you don't get it and yes liars come in both genders but this issue is not simply about liars.  While there may be exceptions (like Indy) the broad overall issue is Gender bias in the so-call legal system.  It goes far beyond family matters where females have a blatant favortism making the whole system a complete farce.  

DUAL STANDARDS are prevalent in drunk driving cases, personal injury suits, real estate tax matters, traffic court,  apartment evictions, and on and on and on.  It is likened to being forced to serve involuntarily in a combat zone.  Unless you've had the experiences ... you really don't know.

The entire system is broken.  It's like someone burnt the court house down while nobody else was looking and we are left rambling thru the ashes for a flicker of justice and decency.

MYSONSDAD

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RE: Gender biased Legal system
« Reply #12 on: Feb 19, 2004, 02:49:23 PM »
I may be way off on this.

Since I too, am a victim of a very vendictive liar and have been falsely accused, my whole outlook has changed. If somone is trashing someone else, I turn the other way. Until I see things for myself, I listen to no one. The people who feed off the lies of others are just as guilty as the liar themselves.

Sir, I do not know how you have held your sanity with this. I could not imagine what I would do in your shoes.

My sincerest best wishes to you and your son. Let us know how it works out...

'children learn what they live'

StPaulieGirl

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RE: Gender biased Legal system
« Reply #13 on: Feb 19, 2004, 03:24:26 PM »
The entire system is broken. It's like someone burnt the court house down while nobody else was looking and we are left rambling thru the ashes for a flicker of justice and decency.  

That's where you and I (and half of Americans)agree.

I also have to agree that there is a gender bias in some issues.  Many courts still have the "tender years doctrine" on the books.  That's where it is automatically assumed that the mother is the best parent for small children.  Fathers are automatically disregarded when it comes to full custody or 50/50 of their infant and toddler children.  I know you can't stand me.  I don't care.  My dad was 50 yrs old when I was born.  My mother had severe childbirth complications due to her age, so my dad took a leave of absence from work and took care of me, my mom, and his 90 yr old mother.  We all survived.  Men can diaper and feed babies.

I don't know about dual standards in the other instances you cited, but I have to agree that there is a bias in family court.

njfireeater

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RE: Gender biased Legal system
« Reply #14 on: Feb 19, 2004, 04:05:42 PM »
Thankyou...It hasn't been easy...Iam the excact opposite of my ex.She is the screamer while i am the laid back patient one.Everybody that has been with me during this has asked me the same question.I tell them i don't know..lol.But basically i just ask myself will it be good for my son if i go crazy...

MixedBag

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RE: Gender biased Legal system
« Reply #15 on: Feb 19, 2004, 04:16:08 PM »
You have a PM from me

msme

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You are terrific..........
« Reply #16 on: Feb 19, 2004, 08:04:45 PM »
We have seen so much gender bias that my faith in what I was raised to believe was shaken to my very roots. After the police gave my son his 3 children, the day she tried to kill him in front of them, he made a wonderful home for them. My son stood helpless, when he went to court & the blonde idiot judge told him "he had no right to take her children away from her."

She gave them back to her, returning them to a druggie, brothel, commune. It took her beating the then 9 year old girl's face black, blue & bloody for the idiot judge to give them back to my son.

His first lawyer did nothing. Afterwards, he said, "Oh well, that's the way family court is. You fought the good fight." We hired a new lawyer that same day.

I admire your fortitude in fighting to rescue your son.  Sorry it was such a rude awakening. Welcome to the club.

njfireeater

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RE: You are terrific..........
« Reply #17 on: Feb 19, 2004, 08:13:29 PM »
Thankyou...I don't think that i am terrific....I'm jusy a concerned father wanting the best for his son

msme

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Sue her anyway..........
« Reply #18 on: Feb 19, 2004, 08:26:00 PM »
who knows, someday, she may hit the lottery, or inherit a bunch of money, or even get a big settlement for an auto accident. What ever, she gets, if you have a judgement in place, you can collect on it.

You never get a second chance to make a first impression!

StPaulieGirl

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RE: Sue her anyway..........A lien!
« Reply #19 on: Feb 20, 2004, 10:13:00 AM »
Good point!  However you must go to court with the charges before the statute of limitations expires.  Also, in CA at least, I believe that that judgement award amount will accrue compound interest.

If she ever comes into any money, you'll be right there to grab it.  Of course you have to win your civil case first.  You need a bloodsucker for a lawyer )(

Davy

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RE: Sue her anyway..........
« Reply #20 on: Feb 20, 2004, 11:51:21 AM »
How do you get around Gender Bias in the Legal system ??  Remember that NJfireeater is a male.  Do you have the mindset of always winning in the legal system because you're female and you see the possibility of more money ??  Thought I'd ask.

NJfireeater should concentrate on the well-being of his son and himself.

Besides, if there was a suit it should for the truth as a matter of record without money judgement.  Now try to find an attorney to pursue that endeavor !!!!!!    

Indigo Mom

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RE: My
« Reply #21 on: Feb 20, 2004, 12:01:33 PM »
Sometimes I 'do' get carried away.  lol

-----I am not so concerned about what was done to me but surely something can be done about the mental abuse she has put my son through-----

Love.  

Davy

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RE: My
« Reply #22 on: Feb 20, 2004, 01:15:42 PM »
Yes yes yes  LOVE  ... what goes around comes around.

Peanutsdad

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RE: Gender biased Legal system
« Reply #23 on: Feb 20, 2004, 02:18:54 PM »
Dave,

I'd like to ask you WHY of earth you go to these extremes of doggin on STPaulie???

I am sure I am not the only one who has noticed you go to great lengths to follow threads she posts in and flame the hell out of her any chance you get.

Whats the matter buddyro?? So eaten up with bitterness that this is the only way you gat pleasure now? Try some therapy dude,, you need it.


Last I checked,, women DO get convicted, women DO get evicted, women DO get tickets and warrants. While the "system" IS bent,, It's a far cry from broke as you insist.

I dont argue that there is a gender bias, but it doesnt entitle you to go after someone on these boards whose posts I might remind you,, WERE TRYING to help a poster.

msme

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RE: Sue her anyway..........
« Reply #24 on: Feb 21, 2004, 04:53:23 PM »
I do believe that the civil courts are not nearly as biased as the family courts. He obviously has good evidence, as he is getting custody of his son.
Yes, he should concentrate on his son & himself, but you & I both know that he isn't out of the woods. She, more than likely, will make another run at him.
If he gets a good sized judgement against her, she is less likely to try to make false accusations against him.

kiddosmom

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A ?....
« Reply #25 on: Feb 21, 2004, 05:14:27 PM »
Ok filing charges on someone for false alligation is a misdomener (sp?) and they get a slap on the wrist ect ect... ok i understand this... they have no previous record ect ect...

you know what, mabe if people actually did file against the false accuser then they WOULD have a a previous record, part of the problem is everyone is saying nothing will happen because noone is doing anything about it.

JMHO

Indigo Mom

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RE: An answer....
« Reply #26 on: Feb 21, 2004, 07:30:18 PM »
-----you know what, mabe if people actually did file against the false accuser then they WOULD have a a previous record, part of the problem is everyone is saying nothing will happen because noone is doing anything about it.-----

I can't speak about anything but what "I" personally dealt with..."my" monster.  monster was such a sick, twisted, vile creature, that when he "got away" with something, it only made him stronger.  So, getting a slap on the wrist wouldn't necessarily stop him....but let him know that he can "get away" with anything.  (and I've been told that one time and time again)

I remember when he was charged with contempt for barging through my front door and threatening me in front of 4 witnesses.  Slap on the wrist.  He felt "bigger" and his harrassment became even "bolder"...to the point of barging into my work, knowing there were 4 security cameras, and harrassing me ON FILM.  Slap on the wrist again....people who are so gross as to file false charges of ANY type...well, they don't think like "you"...because you're normal and they aren't.  

Sometimes, in these situations, it's safest for everyone involved to just suck it up and let it go.  

kiddosmom

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RE: An answer....
« Reply #27 on: Feb 21, 2004, 07:35:15 PM »
In that kind of case i would agree, but wonder .... if you have several cases won against him, mebe that could get him in more trouble he cannot get out of if he continues?

Indigo Mom

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RE: I know where you're coming from....
« Reply #28 on: Feb 22, 2004, 07:44:57 AM »
And in a "way" I agree.  Each and every time a person knowingly files a false complaint, we should sue.  But....if it was an automatic felony with MANDATORY jail time?  (and the alledged victim must sign a form stating they are aware of this)  I think things "might" change.  

But then...it would probably affect those who are real victims of crimes.  I mean, say I sock you in the nose...and you call the police...but there's not "sufficient" evidence I did that to you.  (police "see" a red nose, but can they "prove" i socked you?)  You'd probably refuse to file charges on me just because...if it's not proven in court, you could get busted, even though I "did" sock you.  

So, what to do, what to do.  I guess what you suggest!  Either that or simply let it go.


 

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