Anyone Ever Used Audio Recordings?

[MixedBag]

Yikes!

I truly believe in recording is a matter of CYA as opposed to the theories set behind what KS and Mof2 said.

recordings helped me truly rember what was said, or discover what was really going on in conversations, and YES, they helped in mediation where the rules of admitting evidence are much more lenient. 

EX#3 took recordings to his NV State Supreme Court mediator and she couldn't believe what she was hearing.

EX#3 took transcriptions of recordings to his custody hearing and was granted custody of his son -- but that was after about 10 trips to court for different stuff.

[MomofTwo]

I have seen cases where recordings have successfully been used and I have seen cases where having recordings blew up in their faces and was VERY detrimental to their case because the other parent had savvy lawyers who destroyed them and painted them in a very bad light for provoking the situation.  What should seem a sure shot, wasn't.   Having a recording  and doing this is not a sure boost to anyone's case and needs to be done with caution.

[MixedBag]

You're right -- when EX#3's EX complained that he was recording, the judge sure as heck didn't like it.  BUT that particular judge was a friend of the family, so EX#3 could do nothing right if his EX didn't get her way.

I'm sorry -- but I always lean towards recording and documenting via something you can't make up and as long as it's permissible and legal in your state.    It takes things away from the he said/she said level and provides proof as to what was said by whom.

Even video taping -- I get such a chuckle out of that one because my EX#2 would set a video camera right out in plain sight on the side porch or right in the window where I could see it.  See -- he forbid me to get out of my car during any pick ups and didn't want me to even knock on the door and say "Hey, I'm here!".  So I asked for respect in return and that he and Camilla stay IN the house and just send our son out to my car.  He was old enough to do that.  But no.....the respect wasn't returned.  And quite the opposite.  Once I had SS in the van with me and EX#2 and Camilla played kissy face and SS said "What's up with THAT?"  I said no worries, it's for me and an attempt to make me mad.  He said "that's stupid"   The recordings tape sound and actions -- and if you listen to them, you can hear that they didn't extend mutual respect -- though EX#2 was careful to position the camera on a tripod that didn't include the door.  Dumba$$ if you ask me.

You're right -- the judge is supposed to look at whether or not the parents get along when deciding custody.  BUT how many times is the parent who is truly causing the problems, in a sense REWARDED for their bad behavior which causes the two parents to "not get along"?

So I'd lean towards recording and if one side reacts badly, tough.  They'll react badly almost no matter WHAT you do and will find a reason to blame it on you.

[ocean]

We used two tapes of PB yelling and screaming. Both got into evidence and then it was clear how PB acted. Even the court reporter and bailiff were shaking their heads in disbelief. It showed PB true colors if nothing else. PB thought it was funny so that in itself made her look more stupid. We had other tapes that we decided not to use.

THe only issue we had was that it was clear enough for the judge to hear it. You need to bring your own player and make sure it goes loud enough. The recorder was taken from us at check in and then when it was time to play tape, officer went and got it. I guess no recording in the court house.

[ksmarks]

    We used them, in part to to reaffirm that we really weren't losingour own minds... however, we were advised that they did infact go to show that they could not get along, (mediator & law guardian). 

We also would play them when we needed to respond to yet another string of court filings, which helped set our response tone and demeanor, ours were never used in court...

(Major issue here was she was a judge's secertary and new husband was the Republican Committe chair, in a Republican County, our case has been heard in 5 counties as a result.) So no one had the balls enough to call it what it was.....

I still believe that if you use tapes make certain that you  are not in violation of any local state laws....

[gemini3]

I can speak of a case where documenting and using a recording to CYA backfired.  My husband had recordings and e-mails of his ex threatening to file false allegations, telling him that she didn't care if it was his parenting time because they were taking the kids to visit her new boyfriends family and he could shove it, and some other wierd and strange things (that I won't detail because it would give away my identity).

When he tried to give the information to the GAL he was told "anyone who would take the time to gather all of this information has to have some major control issues."  None of it was looked at or listened to.  Of course we asked, "How else do you protect yourself from someone who will lie and make false accusations?"  He never answered that.  He told the judge that he had no recommendation.  I don't know what we paid him almost $1,000 for.  He could of at least formulated some sort of opinion.

My husband's attorney did put the tape player on his table in the courtroom.  Just seeing it sitting there was enough to get his ex to answer some questions way more honestly than we think she would have otherwise, but it wasn't enough.