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Author Topic: Parenting Plan Questions. Contempt, Need help. Plz  (Read 2800 times)

SuperDad52

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Parenting Plan Questions. Contempt, Need help. Plz
« on: Sep 10, 2009, 02:12:12 PM »
My ex-wife informed me she is getting married (in Nov.) and moving out of the state of FL to NY.  Her “rich” (sugar daddy) man paid for an attorney and served me with a notice of intent to relocate with child.  We have a 9 year old son.  I don’t have the funds for an attorney so I’ve been spending a LOT of time reading on the internet. 
Her intent to relocate states
"The step-father's financial situation will allow the mother to concentrate all of her time on the minor child, Name and assist him with his emotional and educational development without concern for being employed and the schooling system is far more superior in NY than he currently attends".   <~~~~ which is a B rated school
She has already quit her part time job.
To inform you as my son completed the 3rd grade and he has been absent 55 times and tardy 88 times. Car rider one mile from school. Not very good in my opinion.  I raise a step-daughter that went from ADD when I met her 6 years ago to an honor roll student now.  I did file an objection to the relocation.  I’m married stable and my wife has been in his life as far back as my son can remember.  We have been in his life as much as my ex will allow us.  She is always in contempt (which we will be going to mediation in 3 week for) and sense the relocation thing popped up a few months ago my son and my relationship I feel like is taking a beating.  When he is with me everything seems to be fine but when he is with his mom it’s like I’m talking to someone else’s kid.  Nearly every conversation with my son is monitored/speaker.  He always has something else (fun) to do on my weekend and his mom schedules events on my time, i.e. her daughters bday party and her wedding (coming up in Nov.) just to name two.  I didn’t schedule my wedding on her weekend. She always bad mouths me in front of my son.  Cursing and yelling.  Telling me he don’t like me, don’t like my house, I never do anything with him, he would rather her bfriend be his dad and not you (fyi, she has said the same thing about the last couple of boyfriends too, she’s had a few).  All kinds of Crazy things I know are not true, I think she is trying every effort to program him.  He and I have a Great relationship at my house.  She is programming him in a major scale and I feel hurt.  It’s getting so bad I’m now wondering if she’s fit enough to raise him.  I have been keeping a very good journal for the past 5 ½ years.  I have almost everything documented!!  From the 19 moves in 8 years to the 82 “documented” accounts of denied visitation, to the 57 “documented” denied phone calls (I know the phone calls are probably triple that but that is documented) to the denied summer visitations.  I could go on and on!
She also sent me a motion for social investigation of the minor child.  I believe that is why she has been programming him so much lately.  Trying to get him to say he don’t like me and want to move to NY in the “Big House” as she put it.  In fact she told him it’s my fault if they can’t move up there into the “Big House”.
I’ve been doing a lot of reading about the parenting plan.  I think it would be in my son’s best interest if I spent more time in his live (he needs the stability), I currently have every other weekend and any time in between that we agree upon which is usually an No from her.  I like the idea of 7 day rotation, Friday to Friday.  I’m thinking about presenting this to her in mediation, which I know what she will say about that. Absolutely NOT!!

My Question:
How do I go about going from my every other weekend visitation into the 50/50 parenting plan? 
Do I need to serve her with a motion of some sort? What are my chances in FL?
Do I bring it up in (contempt) mediation that I want the 50/50? 
Do I have to pay half for the "social investigation" which she is requesting?
She has an attorney I don’t.  All I want to do is see my son more and be a part of his life.  He needs it!
Also, I have witness to a lot of the bashing and cursing me she dose to me in front of my son. 
Will I be able to use them anywhere?  Will they help my case for the parenting plan?
Thanks for all advice!!


ocean

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Re: Parenting Plan Questions. Contempt, Need help. Plz
« Reply #1 on: Sep 10, 2009, 03:08:37 PM »
Call up family court and see if you qualify for legal aid....
Are you in the same school district as her now?
At this point I would be asking for full custody. Here are the reasons:
Mother is moving out of state and you want a relationship with child.
School attendance records showing the absences and lateness (go get copies from school)
Same school district?
Same activities, Friends
Family is in Fla (is her family there too...say you are willing to foster a good relationship)
No family in NY (?)

Go and see what you can file to keep child in the state until the trial (and for custody). I dont remember what it is called but you can file and the child will have to remain in Florida. When does she plan on going?

Yes, you can call anyone you choose to be a witness and ask questions. Start taping her phone calls if you are allowed in your state. Video pick ups and drop offs if she is that bad.

Many states are not allowing parents to move and denying the child to be moved. Fight it. Don't be intimidated by her lawyer. Ask questions here. It is very hard to get evidence into the court room especially with her lawyer so be prepared.

Good luck!
 

eagleeyefam

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Re: Parenting Plan Questions. Contempt, Need help. Plz
« Reply #2 on: Sep 10, 2009, 03:12:25 PM »
I'm all for the 50/50-BUT it only works if the parents canfind a common ground. If she ends up moving to the other state there is no waty the friday-friday schedule can work unless your child is home schooled. If she stays in the area then yes it could work.

You can contact the courthouse and speka to the family law department. They might be able to guide you in the direction you need for all of this.

Anytime she is in contmept or denys your visit make a police report.

Yes in mediation put it on the table that you want more time. Have a suggested schedule ready with you. After mediation, the mediator will give a recomendation. You can either agree to it or not. If you don't agree then file an objection. The medaition agreement will have all the info in it you need for filing. It's fairly easy.

What she is doing can fall under the PAS. Look into that.

Oh and don't lay it all out on the table in mediation. Keep some legal strategy secret.

SuperDad52

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Re: Parenting Plan Questions. Contempt, Need help. Plz
« Reply #3 on: Sep 10, 2009, 04:03:41 PM »
We don't live in the same school district but we do live with in 30 min. of each other.
 
Their is no family in N.Y and no friends.  Just a rich older man. She only dates rich men. Intermediate Golddigger but she will get better this is not her last stop.
 
All of her family and mine live in the same county (Hillsbouough).
 
I did get all of his school records that is how I found out he has missed so much time, she don't tell me nothing except he's doing fine.
 
Oh, also her first daughter she had prior to us getting together, her father lives in Alaska.  They lived there together as he was in the service and stationed there and when it didn't work out she packed up and went home to florida and left him there, she took their daughter with her.  He is still there and daughter is now 16.  He hasn't been in service probably for 14 years now. 
 
I filed a response letter (and a darn good one I think) "objection to relocate w/minor child" and now we will be going to see a judge magistrate, no date set yet,  I'm wondering if she's trying to drag this out until after she gets married to help her case.
 
Her plan was to move by the start of school Sept. 1st up there. But that didn't happen.  Thanks to me!!!!!!!!!
 
I think I have a strong case for custody but no money for it. 
I've been keeping a very detailed jounal for over 5 years now and oh my, reading back on some things is just wrong!
She don't have any money either but dates money.
 
I will look up PAS thanks
 
I'll be doing some more reading around and contacting the court house for help, grrr.
 
Any advice is much appreciated!!!!!
 
Thanks!!!
 

MomofTwo

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Re: Parenting Plan Questions. Contempt, Need help. Plz
« Reply #4 on: Sep 10, 2009, 04:28:52 PM »
How do I go about going from my every other weekend visitation into the 50/50 parenting plan?  You have to file a motion for it.


Do I need to serve her with a motion of some sort? What are my chances in FL?  Yes. you have to file a motion.   The courts like to keep what is in place and working.  It will all depend on the GM you have, but typically in a relocation request, they will evaluate the time sharing you have had and come up with an alternative plan that will give you no less that time, sometimes more (more time in summers, holidays, etc..)

Do I bring it up in (contempt) mediation that I want the 50/50?   If the courts did not find her in contempt, she was not in contempt and it isn't going to help you.
Only a judge can make the determination of contempt. Your logs do not make it so.


Do I have to pay half for the "social investigation" which she is requesting?  Quite possibly.
She has an attorney I don’t.  All I want to do is see my son more and be a part of his life.  He needs it!
Also, I have witness to a lot of the bashing and cursing me she dose to me in front of my son. 
Will I be able to use them anywhere?  You will accuse her of this, she will undoubtedly have a laundry list of issues with you.  Fair warning, they don't give 50/50 to parents who can't co-parent amicably.

Will they help my case for the parenting plan?  It will most likely result in no change if the relocation is not allowed if you can't be amicable and co-parent.

FL's change to more equal time sharing is not retro active to cases before the statute change.   


 

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