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Author Topic: What should I do and also is this legal?  (Read 12529 times)

SuperDad52

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Re: What should I do and also is this legal?
« Reply #30 on: Nov 13, 2009, 02:23:30 PM »
I went down and filed contempt of court due to bm not letting me have son during my latest time sharing schedule.  We still have not gone to court for the last contempt of court I filed for the same issue.  Maybe the judge or magistrate will hear both at the same time, I don't really know. 
I did look into filling for change of costudy but I'm a bit intemidated by that.  I guess I'll wait until I hire an attorney (hopefully soon). 
I didn't file an ex parte due to our final dissoulition of marriage states that bm is not allowed to move more than 65 miles away from me, that should be okay, yes/no?
I did look up bm marriage license in public records which indicates she did get married here in FL.
Yes, our case file is still open w/the court.  I do check it a few times a week on line to see if she has filed anything.
I have a list of why my son needs to stay with me.  Let's see....it's something like this:
-bm wants to move in w/rich (new) husband out of state as she said in her relocation papers so she wouldn't have to work and can spend all her time with the children.
-she has worked in different places part time for a while but quite several months ago after meeting now new husband.
-bm or son has no family, job, friends or anything waiting for them in NY
-All bm's family and my family live in the same county here in FL.  In fact I live 5 min. from 2 of bm's sisters and mother.
-All son's friends live here but I won't be able to keep him in same school, their's an elementry school every 5 miles from each other and I live 25 miles from his current school so he will have to change schools. Which would put him in the same elementry school his mama went to.
 
Is the social evaluation suppose to determine what kind of relationship my son and I have?  Like do we get along, play well w/one another, respectful, loving relationship, is he scard of me, does he like me, things of that nature
or, are they going to come into the house and look at his bedroom, is their food in the pantry, bugs on the floor, yard to play in, things of that nature
or both?
 
Thanks as always!!!


gemini3

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Re: What should I do and also is this legal?
« Reply #31 on: Nov 14, 2009, 06:22:55 AM »

I didn't file an ex parte due to our final dissoulition of marriage states that bm is not allowed to move more than 65 miles away from me, that should be okay, yes/no?


That is definitely in your favor.  Her filing for relocation is seeking a modification of this clause.  However, unless you're willing to take custody, the only option they will have is to let her move.  I would file for custody.

I have a list of why my son needs to stay with me.  Let's see....it's something like this:
-bm wants to move in w/rich (new) husband out of state as she said in her relocation papers so she wouldn't have to work and can spend all her time with the children.
-she has worked in different places part time for a while but quite several months ago after meeting now new husband.
-bm or son has no family, job, friends or anything waiting for them in NY
-All bm's family and my family live in the same county here in FL.  In fact I live 5 min. from 2 of bm's sisters and mother.
-All son's friends live here but I won't be able to keep him in same school, their's an elementry school every 5 miles from each other and I live 25 miles from his current school so he will have to change schools. Which would put him in the same elementry school his mama went to.


I would keep this list focused on the child, and not attacking the mother.  Don't say anything about how much money her new husband makes, etc.  This will look like jealousy on your part, and possibly make it look like you will have a hard time cooperating.  You want to focus on the child, and what's best for him - staying in the place where he's grown up his whole life, staying on the same sports teams, being around family and friends.  He could possibly remain in the same school until the end of the school year (if you can drive him there).  Does your family live close by?  Does hers?  If so, mention that the child will have access to extended family on both sides (and show that you're open to letting the child spend time with her family). 

Your primary reason will be the detriment of your son's relationship to his father.  You will want to show how involved you are in his life, as that will be impossible if he is moved to NY.

How long did she date her new husband before marrying him?  You might want your lawyer to point out that the relationship between your son and his new step-dad is very new, and that BM is putting the relationship before the needs of her son (stability, time with his father).  Especially considering she is not allowing communication, and she has denied your visitation.  Make sure you're making note of all the times you called to speak with your son and were denied.  Write down the date, the time, what number you called, and whether or not you were allowed to speak with him.

Make sure you have a water-tight plan in place for your child's care if you were to be granted custody.  How will you provide care for him while you're at work?

If your CO is vague (every other weekend leaves room for argument), have it modified so that it is clear to all parties.  As an example, "Father shall have parenting time on the first and third weekends of the month.  If the month includes a fifth weekend, father shall have parenting time on the fifth weekend.  Weekend parenting time shall commence at 6:00 p.m. on Friday, and conclude at 6:00 p.m. on Sunday.  If Monday is a holiday, parenting time shall conclude at 6:00 p.m. on Monday."  This leaves far less room for exploitation.  You may also need to have transportation written into the agreement, along with telephone communication since she's playing games with that as well.

In her notice of her intent to relocate, what has she given as her suggestion for your visitation schedule after she moves.  What is her suggestion for transportation?  This is important, because she HAS to put this in her request, and it could very much be in your favor.

Click this link and read section  61.13001. Parental relocation with a child:

http://www.womenslaw.org/statutes_detail.php?statute_id=930#statute-top

Note that one of the factors is "The feasibility of preserving the relationship between the nonrelocating parent or other person and the child through substitute arrangements that take into consideration the logistics of contact, access, and time-sharing, as well as the financial circumstances of the parties; whether those factors are sufficient to foster a continuing meaningful relationship between the child and the nonrelocating parent or other person; and the likelihood of compliance with the substitute arrangements by the relocating parent once he or she is out of the jurisdiction of the court."

Your ex's non-compliance with the current order is of great consequence, because it shows that she is likely to violate the order once she relocates.

Is the social evaluation suppose to determine what kind of relationship my son and I have?  Like do we get along, play well w/one another, respectful, loving relationship, is he scard of me, does he like me, things of that nature
or, are they going to come into the house and look at his bedroom, is their food in the pantry, bugs on the floor, yard to play in, things of that nature or both?


Depends on the investogator.  They are not governed by specific rules for the investigation.  Social investigations are governed by Florida Administrative Rule 64B4-7.006, which speaks to the investigator's qualifications, not the conduct of the investigation.

SuperDad52

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Re: What should I do and also is this legal?
« Reply #32 on: Nov 14, 2009, 07:58:10 AM »
Man, I have to say you guys are pretty smart around here!! I'm glad I signed up at this forum!
I WILL be filling for costudy next week. gemini3 like you said I won't let my feelings get in the way of the wording in the motion for costudy.  ALL of both our families live within 30 min from each other and that's great.
Funny thing bm started dating new husband in March.  I said somthing to her about it a while ago and she said to me we have been dating for a long time.  I said no because you were dating **** in January, she said "I can date as many people as I want at the same time", so I'm thinking proving her length of relationship will be difficult will lie in out and around court.  The reason I know is my son came out and told me one day "my mom has a new boyfriend she met at the casino".
The notice of intent to relocate states:
"Mother and step-father will pay for all the transportation costs for the minor child to continue th have visitation with his father.  Mother will accompany child on alternate weeekends until he is comfortable traveling by himself. This will result in the father continuing to have essentially the time sharing that he currently has available to him under the existing final judgment of dissolution of marriage at no additional expense to him."
schedule for time sharing: alternating weekends, alternating Thanksgiving (no spicific dates), alternating Christmas (no spicific dates), spring break (again no spicific dates) and 4 weeks during the summer.
As far as the summer visitation, I'm currently ordered 2 weeks now but this past summer after I got my son for my two weeks his mother called him every day.  Told him she bought him a toy gun he had been dying for. She was sending him pic messages to son's phone of herself, Told him she was on an airplane and had to make an emergency landing because it ran out of gas and they almost crashed. Well, I picked him up on a Friday (which just happened to be my weekend) and he went home the following Monday night because she wouldn't leave him alone w/the drama and he felt he had to be there w/her.  So I didn't get my two weeks I got 3 days.  I tried to make arrangements to get my son at least one week later in the summer and she told me "forget it you had your chance and you didn't want him".
 
My wife is a great help with all of this and she has been writting every conversation down pretty much word for word between bm and myself.  Times, dates, everything.  All a coutinuation of a journal that has been going on sense 2004.
 
Again I thank you for all the helpful information!
I get to see my son today (its been weeks).  His baseball coach just call me and told me your son will be playing baseball today.  Woohooo, at least someone called me.  He had a soccer game and a baseball game today at the same time and I had no idea which one he was going to attend if any at all.  It would be nice if my son or bm would at least send me a text and let me know.  I wonder if my boy will be allowed to tell me happy b-day to day lol
 
 
 

SuperDad52

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Re: What should I do and also is this legal?
« Reply #33 on: Nov 22, 2009, 04:51:24 PM »
I have a concern I need a little help with.  It appears that my son (10, in the 4th grade) comes home from school to be by himself (apartment living).  He has a 16 yo sister in H.S and it appears that his mother has started going to school for something herself.  I don't know what time bm gets home but my son told me that he turns his cell phone off when he goes into school and back on when he gets home from school (bus rider) every day so bm can call and make sure that he has made it home safely.  What I don't know is how many days a week or how long he is home alone.  I feel very concerned about this, should I be?  I watch the news a lot and a lot of bad things happen to kids all the time.  I'ts maken me feel ill.
 
Thanks

ocean

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Re: What should I do and also is this legal?
« Reply #34 on: Nov 22, 2009, 05:29:14 PM »
Is the 16 year old with him? If the 16 year old is there , then it is legally fine. Even at 10 is a grey area in most states. You can find out if there is an afterschool program at his school and have him go there instead. Most after-school places will take up to age 12.

Can you call BM or send her a note saying that you know child is coming home to an empty house and would like to help. Offer to take him extra time during the week or help pay for the aftercare program. BUT if the 16 year old is there...that is old enough to babysit and wont get too far in court.

Do you know the childs cell number? Can you call it too and check on him? Each time call a little later and see if she is home yet. Ask him if he puts himself to bed? Who feeds him dinner?


gemini3

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Re: What should I do and also is this legal?
« Reply #35 on: Nov 27, 2009, 12:12:37 PM »
Florida does not have state regulations regarding how old a child can be left home alone. 
 
The FL Circuit Court FAQ's state:
 
"At what age is it legal to leave a child home alone? There is no minimum age established by law. Whether a child can be left alone depends on a number of factors, including: the child's maturity; the safety of the environment they are in; how long they are left alone; whether or not they can get in touch with their parent or caregiver; and whether or not they know what to do in case of an emergency. Leaving a child alone can constitute neglect on the part of a parent or caregiver if the child could be in any danger of harm."
 

SuperDad52

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Re: What should I do and also is this legal?
« Reply #36 on: Dec 02, 2009, 05:49:54 PM »
I see! Thanks for the info!

 

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