Goodness...who are you and why are writing about my life? hehehe J/k.
I could have written your post nearly word for word! My X walked out when I was 6 months pregnant with our daughter. I was really close to HIS family so I didn't feel completly cut out. When my daughter was born, HIS sister was in the delivery room with me, she tried to find him, but he didn't show. He came to the hospital the next morning, spent about 20 min with her then took off again. I tried working out a plan with him...nothing. I filed for CS and it took nearly 3 years to get that going becuase he would evade service. Finally the CS hearing came about and the judge asked him if he wanted visitation, he said no. But my daughter was very close to HIS family. She would spend weekends with Grammy and Pappy, birthday parties with her cousins and spend time with HIS sisters.
Then Pappy died. My daughter had just turned 6 y/o and I debated taking her to the funeral because I knew HE would be there. Because my daughter was so close to her Pappy, I knew she needed to go and say goodbye. We got to the church and sure enough, he was there. He came over to where we were standing....said "hi" and asked if we could talk afterward. I said of course. When he walked away, my daughter asked "Who was that?"...I just said "I'll tell you in a little while".
After the service, he sought us out, I left daughter playing with her cousins and Aunt. He had his back to me at first and when he turned around he had tears streaming down his face...I thought it was because of the death of his father...turns out he was crying because he realized what a huge mistake he'd made with our daughter. He said "she is the most beautiful girl he's ever seen". We talked about him getting to know her and I was relieved!!
So we walked back to the area the kids were playing and my daughter came up to me and again asked "Mommy...who is that?" I knelt down and said "Honey...this is your father." Her eyes got huge and she looked up at him...and said "hi". He then knelt down..said "hi" back....she then launched herself into his arms. I sat there bawling like a baby....because finally...she had met her father. Now he had a daughter from a previous relationship that is a few years older than my daughter....I was surprised to find out that HE also had gotten custody of her. So my daughter also got to meet her 1/2 sister and my daughter was thrilled even more!!!
We talked about her seeing him more...he would come by for a few hours a couple times a week. Then he'd take her out for a couple hours and then eventually led to her staying the night at HIS sister's house (a place where daughter was comfortable). All of that led to her spending weekends with him.
About 3 years after that, I finally met the man of my dreams and got married. My
DH was offered a position that we couldn't turn down and so we ended up moving. Daughter's father lives in MD and we now live in FL. I didn't have to go to court because I still maintain SOLE custody...but her father wasn't against my move either. Now I fly daughter up to him on her school breaks. She'll be going up next month for 2 weeks, then she'll probably go for spring break and a few weeks in the summer. They talk on the phone a couple times a week as well.
My daughter was 6 when she met her Father....it took them some time to get to know each other...but if you're supportive, then it will be the BEST thing for your daughter to meet her father...it was for mine!!