I was embroiled in a bitter divorce and custody war over my only son. The custody battle was not of my chosing. For over 10 years, my son's father fought for sole custody
, even though I had sole custody in our separation agreement. Two times he settled on the eve of the custody hearing, getting a little more visitation. The third time, we went through a custody hearing, where custody was not changed. Later, my son moved in with his father. My son is now 33 years old. He has enormous problems relating to me. We spend nice times together, but they are very few and far between. Every time we have to make plans to get together it results in a full blown emotional fight. My son once told me that he never felt comfortable either with me or his father. That really made me sad. I tried everything when he was little, therapy, anything I could think of to keep his head together while his father, who had all the money, toys and remarriage, found ways to keep my son from me. There never was time for me to go on vacation with my son. His father and their new family were going away on some big trip, skiing, whatever. Anything to keep my son from me. I have had to fight for my relationship with my son every step of the way, hanging in there, being available, and I am getting very tired. Here is what can happen if people can't iron out their differences. Beware, lots of damage to your children when they are grown up.