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Author Topic: What statement are true  (Read 2554 times)


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What statement are true
« on: Dec 07, 2009, 12:31:11 PM »
Unfortunately so many people hear are going through worse times then me.. so I feel for you all.  So in order to help me prevent my situation from going or getting worse, there are some simple things that I would like to see if I can get some true answers to.
Current deal, the mom of the 2 boys is and has been living with me for the past 6 years.  We ere engaged… but it just never happened.  And despite efforts we just do not get along.

So what I would like to know or clarify is this.

We live in TX.  She wants to move back to MA.  I can not just move due to house and debt issues.  Now I know she can “take” them to MA; but if I file a court order she will have to bring them back.  That is what I have learned.  But how much control does she or would she have in the case to move them out of state like that?  I know it all depends on the court itself.  But I would think you would want to keep the kids within the same proximity.

Child Support…. I am looking for at least 50% physical custody.  Due to my job (travel consultant) I might not be able to get more then 40%.  But does child support not depend on that %.  Say if the math comes out to $1,000…. And the mom has 50% custody, then she would get $500, right?

The mom is not really into working, despite the strong desire to get away from me.  She apparently has a “free” place to live in MA.  But I think the reality is, it is free for a couple of months, not a year 1500+…  Can not see someone giving away $1500+ a month to help a friend out…  for a few months sure..

Anyway, those are my 2 clarification questions…  If you have any insight, please let me know.

Thank you.


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Re: What statement are true
« Reply #1 on: Dec 07, 2009, 01:03:16 PM »
Ok, so someone can correct me, this is just my advice...

Are you established as the father (legally, birth certificate not enough)?  If so, you should file for a parenting arrangement and get a temporary restraining order so that she doesn't leave the state.  AND DO THIS ASAP.  The temporary restraining order part of all of this advice is very important, and you need to get her served with it before she leaves the state of Texas.  You do not want to try to fix things after she leaves.  That is a mess!  Stop her from leaving (via court order, obviously she may not listen and go, but your case is much more straighforward if she has this served on her inside the state of Texas).  She will be ordered to stay at least until things are settled.  The good news is: Texas is reluctant to allow moves, so she will have to justify why it is in the best interests of children for her to move considering it will greatly diminish the amount that you can see them and you will have a good shot at keeping her there. Free rent won't be enough.  If her family is there, a new job ect....stronger case for her, but it will have to be really strong and you still will probably win.  You have a long strong relationship, having lived with children all their life.

If you are not established as father, run to the court even faster than ASAP (like yesterday) because she currently is the only recognized legal parent of the children and can make decisions by herself as to where they live.  Only real difference is you have to file to establish paternity also.  Otherwise you still get the temporary restraining order to prevent her from leaving with children.

Now, since you lived with mother so long, engaged ect...you can also say that you are common-law married.  There are some standards to prove this, but it can be better to go through child custody from this stand point (although you will also have to get divorced, which isn't so great for the financials).  If #2 situation is true (paternity not established) and she leaves before you can serve the temporary restraining order on her, then you can use the argument that you are common law married to get her back quickly (since then you have joint custody of children rather than her having sole custody).  Also, when I say her, it is really the children, she can move anywhere she wants, but not with kids).  You need evidence to assert common law marriage.  If you ever put her on health insurance, that is good evidence that you were common-law married.  Remember, this is if she leaves before the TRO is served on her and paternity has not been established.  You might have a really hard time getting her to move back if she has legal sole custody, since she has a right to make that decision.

Someone else can talk about joint custody/child support stuff....


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Re: What statement are true
« Reply #2 on: Dec 08, 2009, 12:10:56 AM »
In Texas,  a child born to a man and woman who are not married has no legal father. There is a difference between a biological father and a legal father. When the child's parents complete an Acknowledgment of Paternity (AOP) to establish legal fatherhood the legal rights of the child are secured.  If the father's name appears on the birth certificate then the hospital would have completed this process and paternity is established.  If paternity has not been established, an AOP can be obtained from a hospital, a state Child Support office, or the Bureau of Vital Statistics (BVS). Both parents sign the AOP and sent/filed with BVS (Austin).  Contact the Attorney General office if questions.  Paternity is established. 

File the AOP with the court and petition the court for Temporary Custody (important) along with an application of a Temporary Restraining Order (TRO) requesting the children be prevented from being relocated from your county (or within 30 miles of your location) in order to protect the children's on-going relationship with  your parenting obligations and responsibilities.  Keep the children close.  You may need a "custody filing" (not just a TRO) to establish TX jurisdiction if the children are taken to some far away state.  As a side note, in Texas, "custody" is refered to as "conservatorship" ... managing and possessive.
Specific distance is relevant in Tx.  As an example, it is a greater distant between Beaumont, Tx and El Paso, Tx. than the distant between Texarkana,Tx and Chicago, Il.
In these days, (it should be easy to get surprise service) it will be important to maintain a peaceful and dignified household and existance.  Spend as mush time with the children as possible while pursuing a permanent conservership and restraint for the children to be relocated.  Do not move-out without the kids.  Do not trust a "visit" to the other state.  Once you file, (and the children are restrained)  there will be plenty of time to negotiate a parenting plan, etc.
And ... review the articles on this site and particularly develope a stragedy and know what you want for the children before interviewing attorneys.  It is usually better .. no always better... for both parents to reach agreements on their own while focusing on the children.  MA. and the probable 3rd party pull is not a comparable trade-off to the children having only one parent in their life. 


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