Thanks Simplydad, Ocean and Kitty, for all the comments and suggestions. I will be contacting the police officers and getting their names. If I can get a lawyer I will get depositions from them too. I agree that they could be very helpful witnesses. It's correct that there are no charges and I have done absolutely nothing wrong. The police always see me as a reasonable person, which I am and they have never seemed interested in investigating. They most probably see people like the
BM every day, making up lies. One of the most worrying things here is that the BM is getting the child to lie to the police and the counselor. She has been told to say I hit her. If ever she gets a graze or a scraped knee, she is told to tell the counselor I caused it. My child has admitted this. Even worse is the fact my child says she will continue to do it. She is compliant (a) to avoid punishment and (b) to get some praise. If it were just the BM lying that would be one thing, but with the child saying what she is told to say, I am not sure of the best way to handle it. I also fear that if an AD LITEM is appointed, that even though the AL is only concerned with the child's rights, that in this case, the child would be told to lie to the AL. In fact, I am certain that would happen. Basically, it's impossible to stop the child lying and saying what she is told to say. There is no way to stop that. I've told her it's important to be truthful, and so on. But the bm has created a severe dependency to control the child, and the child is programmed in a way not too dissimilar from brainwashing. So, although an Ad Litem would be great in normal circumstances, I believe the BM could get her way even more easily if an Ad Litem were appointed.
It is helpful to know that the judge won't take too much notice of police escorts and the BMs fictitious reports. The BM is determined to get her way, and she is upping her game by getting the child to lie. I don't see how a judge can ignore a counselor, even if not properly qualified, who states the child confides in her that she is treated mean and hit.
All the BM has to do here is get visitation changed. I know the courts won't take away
joint custody at the next hearing. But if visitation is changed to being supervised, the BM will achieve her goals. I am not too sure how to come out looking good against a liar that even gets her child to lie. I have never hit my daughter and never would. But how can I an prove it! I don't get to see her as regularly as the CO states that I should, so I am hardly likely to treat her badly when I do get to see her. The opposite is the case. I know she is not treated well with the BM and I do all in my power to make her happy during my parental time with her. I know the BM and her husband and the grandma hit my child because she told my cleaning lady several months ago. That lady has since
moved out of town and cannot be called as a witness. And in any case, even if she could, I worry about further punishment for my daughter. For allegations like that, proof is needed. Although it appears as if the BM can make allegations without proof, just by getting my daughter to lie with her.
I do have some tape recordings of my daughter that would be very helpful if heard by the judge. I have to give copies of all evidence to the opposing attorney within about ten days. I wondered if anyone might know the correct way to handle a situation where I wish to present certain tapes as evidence, but to protect my daughter, ensure they are not heard by the opposing attorney or her mom, because that would mean certain and severe punishment for my daughter. I really need for the judge alone, to hear the tapes. I've been reading up on privileged information in evidence but have not found out that tapes such as the ones I have, are classified as privileged.
What is happening is relentless. Most of what I thought would happen, has happened, and then some. Thanks for all the help so far.