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Author Topic: want to help my husband with his visitation problems  (Read 5259 times)

wife1

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want to help my husband with his visitation problems
« on: Jun 06, 2011, 12:33:10 PM »
Ok so here is our problem, my husband has a 12 yr ol son who he hardly gets to see because the boys mom moves around so much because her husband is in the military. They moved out of the country for 5 yrs so he only saw him once for half the summer almost 2yrs ago. Now they have moved back to the states but not back to texas where we are. She makes things very difficult for him to see and speak to the boy, he has always paid child support and kept insurance and never argues with her even when she becomes extremely argumentative. Now that it is summer the boy has been down for almost 3 wks and he has only been with us over here for maybe 6 days because she wants him with her. They usually justs verbally agree for the visitation times, but now she is threatening to take the boy back with her out of state beause she got mad at my husband for not sending all his clothes back with him. The boy has mentioned wanting to move down here with us but his mother says no he cant and she wont allow him to. This just becomes so heart breaking and emotionaly draining having to deal with her mood changes. We dont know what to do any advice would b great.
trying to make it through each day as best as I can...


Kitty C.

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Re: want to help my husband with his visitation problems
« Reply #1 on: Jun 06, 2011, 01:46:04 PM »
Before anyone could give any assistance, does he have a court order for parenting time and, if so, what are the particulars? 
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wife1

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Re: want to help my husband with his visitation problems
« Reply #2 on: Jun 06, 2011, 04:28:24 PM »
Yes he has every wednesday, every other weekend , if she lives more than 100 miles she has to meet him or give him money for gas. the basic type of custody. BUT the kicker is that she has never lived close enough to actually be abe to abide by those rules. she moved becuase the man she married is in the military. But even at that one year they lived about 1 hr away and still then she would not abide by the rules.  her thing is that she does not want him to be apart of his life because my husban did not stay with her because she was pregnant. they were together for a brief time and she got pregnant and after she had the baby my husband had him the majority of his first 6 months then she got married a few months later and that was it. she told him that if he was to do like the papers say and put in every time he wants him that she would not allow him any other time with the child than is ordered.
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ocean

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Re: want to help my husband with his visitation problems
« Reply #3 on: Jun 06, 2011, 06:37:58 PM »
So right now she lives within the 100 miles?
If so, look up on this site "intent to visit" letter. Fill it in...basically it states you intend to use all your court ordered time starting XX and if not then you will file contempt of court. Then try to get the visit. If she says no, or does not allow, get proof of her saying no, (email? text? letter back?) DO not talk on phone, let it go to voicemail to get proof.

Then you go to family court and file contempt of court as mother is not allowing court ordered visits. YOu can ask for make-up time, lawyers fees as she is breaking order, and consequences for next time she does this.

Is child with you now for long summer visit? Does court order state anything about summer visit? If he has it court ordered, keep him. Let her call police (you can call ahead or go to local department with court order and tell them what is going on and that you are keeping son until XX as court ordered). Have son away from all this. They will tell her to file in family court and write it up. Nothing they can do for her.

wife1

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Re: want to help my husband with his visitation problems
« Reply #4 on: Jun 06, 2011, 07:56:24 PM »
@Ocean no she lives out of state, and has pretty much the boys whole life.
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ocean

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Re: want to help my husband with his visitation problems
« Reply #5 on: Jun 06, 2011, 08:12:08 PM »
Do you have a long distance plan included in order? What does it say?
If not, then go to the family court where the order was written and ask for modification of parenting/visitation. It is usually free/small fee to put court papers in. Look at son's school schedule. You should get most of all breaks (almost all summer, spring break, christmas or thanksgiving break, winter break). Put in exact dates with times.

wife1

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Re: want to help my husband with his visitation problems
« Reply #6 on: Jun 06, 2011, 08:50:49 PM »
yes the plan for the summer is that he is supposed to have him 45 days every summer since she lives over 100 miles away, and she is supposed to meet him half way or give him money for gas but she will do neither.
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bloom6372

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Re: want to help my husband with his visitation problems
« Reply #7 on: Jun 06, 2011, 09:25:14 PM »
He should file a MOTION TO ENFORCE PARENTING TIME. He should also file for contempt for denied visitations (Where we deal with Court, it's called a SHOW CAUSE hearing).

ocean

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Re: want to help my husband with his visitation problems
« Reply #8 on: Jun 06, 2011, 09:51:59 PM »
ok, file that she is denying visits. The court should be by you right? (the one with the last set of orders..).
Ask for the rest of the summer up to the weekend before school starts, make-up time at XX (thanksgiving break?), lawyer fees (if you choose to have one), and consequences that the courts see fit, and that the courts put a more specific summer plan into effect including dates and times for exchanges.

At the same time, send her a registered/certified letter stating you want your court ordered time this summer and if she does not allow son to come then you will be filing against her and include lawyers fees since she is breaking the order (may scare her...lol). This will give the proof that you asked her.
Ex,
According to the court order dated XX, it clearly states on page 2, that XX has 45 days in the summer with me when you live 100 miles away. I have talked to you on the phone on XX dates (or emailed??) regarding the court ordered time. I would like to pick him up/meet you on XX date (give this coming weekend and overnight the letter). If you can not meet me on XX, please give alternative dates/times to pick him up this week/next week. If you refuse to follow the summer court order, I will be forced to file contempt of court against you for not following the judges order and will be asking for make-up time and my lawyer fees since you are breaking the order. You can email me at XXX or leave a message on this number XX regarding the exchange times/dates. If I do not hear from you by XX, I will request the courts to intervene. XX needs all of us in his life.
You

It takes at least 3 weeks here to get into court, so do both at the same time. If she gives in, you can always pull the papers and not have them served on her. Remember to send letter registered or certified so you have proof it was delivered. She does not have to sign for it, just that the mailman brought it to her address.

MixedBag

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Re: want to help my husband with his visitation problems
« Reply #9 on: Jun 07, 2011, 05:24:56 AM »
She has to sign for registered or certified -- priority mail with confirmed delivery is the type where there is no signature.....BUT not sure it's good enough for court to say "She was served"

 

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