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Author Topic: what to expect in ca court - custody evaluation? step up plan?  (Read 7630 times)

lasurfer

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Right now, I have a limited two hours three days a week with my daughter who will be two years old at the end of next month. I have had this schedule since April of 2010. I finally have a court hearing scheduled next month where I am requesting significantly more time with her (as I've been asking for since I found out I was the father). The mother and her attorney have stated that they are going to request a child custody evaluation. I have nothing to hide - no drugs (prescription or recreational), no criminal history, no psychological issues, etc. but they continue to make the argument that my daughter is "not comfortable" with me which is just flat out false.

My daughter is happy when she's with me alone, though she will cry sometimes when I pick her up from the mother. She immediately stops once we get in the car and she is happy the rest of the time - something our therapist said was normal. I have sent the mother pictures and videos of our daughter happy with me during my visits, but she refuses to acknowledge them. I have also asked that the mother and I meet at a neutral location or have someone else do the exchange as my daughter does not cry as much when the nanny does the exchange. She has refused both suggestions.

Does anyone have experience dealing with California courts?

Can they force an evaluation?

The mother genuinely believes the judge will not award me more time. I can't imagine this is possible and my attorney agrees with me but I was wondering if other single fathers had a hard time in California courts getting more custodial time. Can anyone give examples of "step up plans"?

Any other advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!

ps - the mother and I were never married and only dated for a few months.   


nila fordyce

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Re: what to expect in ca court - custody evaluation? step up plan?
« Reply #1 on: Aug 20, 2011, 12:00:40 PM »
Oh my Gosh,
 
I wish you lots of luck...I'm sorry, but the California Family Legal is the worse. They are corrupt,greedy,biased and incompetent.
So, if you are a father you better pray that you have a big time attorney that knows what he is doing in these situations--because you will lose. There are alot of bad attorneys there and evaluators. And the judges usually are so biased they have "B"'s stamped on their foreheads. They don't care about how good of a person you are or what you do--they will probably treat you like a criminal so get ready. And the unfortunate thing is too, they don't care about what is in the best interest of the child...The whole system is egregious to the relationships children have with their beloved parents. Again, it's the father that is crucified in their very unfair court system. I would not trust an evaluator there as far as I could throw him--they are only in it for the money and they bate their clients against one another. And again, they are usually mother friendly... I am a woman and I can say this very confidently--I have witnessed it- I know alot of other really good fathers out there that have lost their beloved childen because of them. It's truly sad. Best of Luck... Do your research!!!!!!!  Especially, if the mother is being very selfish--this happens alot.
I like to complain.

ocean

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Re: what to expect in ca court - custody evaluation? step up plan?
« Reply #2 on: Aug 20, 2011, 12:10:00 PM »
Your lawyer can ask what the basis is for a custody eval when you are asking for is more time and not a custody change plus there is no arrests/infractions on either party. Sometimes a judge wants someone to tell them what is going on in both homes. If they order it, fine. Usually an expense though, so your lawyer should ask that she pay for it (make sure the courts PICK the person though and that mom can not pick who she wants).

When you talk to anyone, do not bad mouth mom, just say you want to be an involved father and be apart of their school, activities, and daily life as much as possible. You are willing to a step up situation and wants the adults to work together for what is in the best interest of your child.

Mom is going to start to play hard ball. Try to keep lines of communication open but do not give her anymore video/pictures. They will twist them around. Keep communications through email/texts or if you have a discussion at drop off/pick up then summarize it in an email to her that you are confirming what you just talked about....

nila fordyce

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Re: what to expect in ca court - custody evaluation? step up plan?
« Reply #3 on: Sep 20, 2011, 10:27:18 AM »

Your lawyer can ask what the basis is for a custody eval when you are asking for is more time and not a custody change plus there is no arrests/infractions on either party. Sometimes a judge wants someone to tell them what is going on in both homes. If they order it, fine. Usually an expense though, so your lawyer should ask that she pay for it (make sure the courts PICK the person though and that mom can not pick who she wants).

When you talk to anyone, do not bad mouth mom, just say you want to be an involved father and be apart of their school, activities, and daily life as much as possible. You are willing to a step up situation and wants the adults to work together for what is in the best interest of your child.

Mom is going to start to play hard ball. Try to keep lines of communication open but do not give her anymore video/pictures. They will twist them around. Keep communications through email/texts or if you have a discussion at drop off/pick up then summarize it in an email to her that you are confirming what you just talked about....
  I am sorry, but this is very close to my heart and have done a great deal of research on this and also know alot of fathers that have been thru this. These evaluations are very controversial and can be extremely damaging to all. There is also no scientific evidence on these evaluations that are conclusive and adequate. You MUST have an extremely good attorney that knows what he is doing because there are far too many bad evaluators out there. In my experience they are very mother friendly,greedy and incompetent. If the mother has to pay half or more this is good--because you're talking about $7,000-$9,000. If they have you do anykind of testing--beware they are very indequate and full of inconsistencies. They can be read differently by different people.
If you have a family friendly judge over a biased judge you have a better chance of winning.
 
But these evaluators can bate there clients against each other and lie. The attorneys will tell you not to bad mouth your ex--but the opposite side does nothing but hammer you as the bad guy. In my experience, the one that does the bad mouthing more wins...
Usually the mother--Sadly. And I am a woman and I am very tired of good fathers getting crucified in the Family Legal system.
These evaluators will perjure themselves in court--it is truly tragic what they get away with. The judges can be just as bad so beware. California is the worse state for all this--their all corrupt...Sorry! But fact...
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Waylon

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Re: what to expect in ca court - custody evaluation? step up plan?
« Reply #4 on: Nov 04, 2011, 01:37:43 PM »
These evaluations are very controversial and can be extremely damaging to all. There is also no scientific evidence on these evaluations that are conclusive and adequate.

Some evaluations are done well, some are not. To dismiss them out of hand is foolish and ignorant.
The trouble with reality is that there's no background music.


Kent

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Re: what to expect in ca court - custody evaluation? step up plan?
« Reply #5 on: Nov 05, 2011, 06:07:46 PM »
Have you attorney put emphasis on requesting that the departing parent (or representative) needs to drop of the child with the receiving parent.
It will prevent her from promising the child ice cream and a movie just before you get there to pick up the child. It's not an issue yet, but it will be once the child gets a little older.
Good luck.

Kent!

DCSoldschool

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Re: what to expect in ca court - custody evaluation? step up plan?
« Reply #6 on: Dec 17, 2011, 10:35:35 AM »
Yes,
they can request mediation with the court if they want.  And this is what you want really.  Let the mediator see the interaction.  They then report to the judge then you all review this at a hearing. 

 

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