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Author Topic: Father completely abused by judge's order  (Read 1808 times)


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Father completely abused by judge's order
« on: Sep 14, 2011, 10:02:11 PM »
Hi.  I live in Ft Lauderdale, Florida.  I just lost terribly in court.  Mother awarded full responsibility.  I get two sup visits a week during the weekday or weeknight.  Mother works at night.  I work during the day.  We cannot agree to a schedule.  I can't go near my son without a sup or even go to his doctor's.  I am ordered random drug testing, ordered to therapy and a drug eval, and monthly mediation with Mother.

I started attending AA in October 2010.  Mother and the Gaurdian ad litem know this. I have been clean since.  I have paid support voluntarily to mom, There is no restraining order.  No history of neglect or abuse to my son, but Mother convinced the judge otherwise.  The GAl did not call the contacts I gave him.  Did not verify my AA meetings.  I bought a car, have a full time job as a Microsoft Systems Engineer.  I go to school at night.  I have my own apt.

Mother forced me into homelessnes inOct 2010 and I struggled to get back to where I was.  But it doesn't seem good enough.

I have complied with everyhting Mother wanted after she threw me out a year ago, and I get all my rights removed with no evidence I have ever abused Mother or my child or neglected him.  Mother lied on the stand.  But what did me in was the GAL's laziness and the Mother refusing to talk to me and follow up that I was doing what I said I would do.

She kept herself in the dark so she could still portray me as a drug addict.  I never was.  We both partied on weekends and I told the judge this.  Mother denied it.  I didn't.

The mother's brother sold drugs out of her house.  I told the GAL.  He did not follow up with that.

We arent't perfect.  I admitted it. Mother didn't.  I was trying not to slander her in court but it cost me.  What can I do?  I want to just walk away from this, which is what they expect.  But I love my son.

I can't take off work to do therapy and drug evals and mediation and Case Managements and the order even states to work around Mother's schedule.  And I have to drug test within 4 hours of the Gal calling me.  It's like probation.  I never commited a crime.  And I have been clean and sober since October!  But nobody would check on it.

If you have any advice, please help. How can they remove my rights after a year of separation? And present no evidence I am the man they claim Iwas a year ago?
I offered Mother and Gal to call my contacts at church and in AA. they felt they didn't need to.


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Re: Father completely abused by judge's order
« Reply #1 on: Sep 22, 2011, 09:39:28 PM »
I know that you should not give up on your children, "no matter what hurdles are placed in front of you." I had to prepare myself to accept 'supervised visitation' as that is what Mother was seeking. You mentioned church, I will be praying for you and your family. The Lord can turn things around at the drop of a dime. It has been my expeirence that things that seem bad at the time can actually turn out having an extremely important place in the big picture. Alchohol and drugs have probably taken enough already, don't allow them to take anymore. I know that waiting is hard, but things will turn around eventually. I also told the truth, and Mother lied extensively. Now, 1 year later, it is catching up with her. My advice is to stay sober, honest, and keep your Son in the foreground of everything. DON'T WALK AWAY! NEVER GIVE UP! I also considered leaving very early on in the seperation. I was alienated from my children, and things seemed hopeless. I am so thankful I didn't. I thought Moms parents money were going to take them from me anyway. I thought their unsubstantiated claim to CPS was going to take them from me. I though the custodial evaluator they hired was going to take them from me. Instead they only strengthened my position. At the time I was devastated, now I am thankful. Just do the next right thing in front of you. Remember the story of Joseph. It may seem hopeless now, but things will change. Take care of yourself, and the rest will fall into place. It just takes more time than we'd like it to. How old is your Son? Be sure not to ever give up on him, or yourself.


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