#1 How should Dad respond to Mom's statement "I carried the child for 9 months in MY body the child is mine!! I will decide when you can visit MY child."
If he is in a one party state, he needs to record her saying that the child is hers & she will decide when he can see her.
If not, have him start sending her the letter of intention to exercise his visitation, everytime. Hopefully she will respond in writing & he will have something solid to use.
#2 Until recently he has stopped showing up. I will remind him to continue to show up and document his denied visitations.
Since he has a CO, he should also ask the police to be there as a peace keeping presence, everytime, till she gets the picture. He should bring a copy of the order with him, & a copy of the letter of intent & her signed receipt. She will either give him the child, on the recommendation of the officer, or she will refuse. If she refuses, he will have the police report to bolster his case.
Good luck, tell him that I will be praying for him.
You never get a second chance to make a first impression!