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Author Topic: Can I keep my son safe in pa?  (Read 2010 times)

bb1434

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Can I keep my son safe in pa?
« on: Apr 27, 2012, 05:03:48 PM »
Ok , this may be a little long but here goes. I have a 2 year old son with a woman. We split custody 50/50 and split all expenses, however I do tend to pay for more. Before the child was born, she had chosen to go back to her ex. While with her ex, who has a history of abuse with her, both physical and mental. He even at one point beat his step father bloody over not getting his way. This man also has 3 felony convictions for drug related offenses including trafficking.

Once the child was born, before paternity was established, the mother and my child both failed a hospital administered drug test. Cps was involved and she was not allowed to be around the child alone. Her ex was also not allowed around the child as he would not take a test knowing he would fail. They soon grew apart as animosity over the child not being his grew. She moved in with her mother and the child and we became closer. She remained clean and got through the cps supervision.

We decided to move in together and tried to start a family. Soon after we were together she started going out drinking more and more frequently to the point it was 3-4 nights a week. She was also always short on money do I started helping her financially even though we have the same job and salary. It later came to light that she had started smoking pot again and was doing it very frequently.

She even admitted she was getting stoned daily befor picking him up from the sitter and driving him home. And the money she was getting from me was to cover what she was spending on drugs.  Things ended with us at the peak and I kept the child for a short period of time. Her mother allowed her to move back in under the promise she stay clean. At this point we started splitting custody 50/50. A few weeks later, she lost control and wound up punching her mother and was kicked out of her house.

I took custody of our child for a period of weeks and worked hard to get her into counseling, and repair her relationship with her mother. I arranged it for her to move back in with her mother and I resumed letting her gave the child as before with the condition she stay with her mother. But over the last few months, she has started taking excessive amounts of time off of work for anxiety. She takes prescribed Xanax for it and is considering fmla for anxiety. Recently it came to my attention that she is back with her ex, and she does intend on re-introducing him to my son as a role model and father figure.

I feel that this is another in a pattern of wreck less decisions. I advised her I would take her for custody if she insisted involving this man in my sons life but she won't back down.  I have talked to a few lawyers and all have suggested going for legal custody. They also mentioned that her ex would have to go through a court ordered risk assessment given his felony convictions.

With that said, can anyone give any advice on how or if I could even keep my son from this man? Can I legally do that? Also with the given history of her behaviors, do I have grounds to file from custody? I am willing to continue to let her have our son 50% of the time but I need protection for our son from this man and from any other future bad decisions.

I must also say her mother, who she lives with shares my feelings about this man and he is not allowed near her house which is where the mother is living. Also, her mother does at least half the parenting while she had the child. Sorry this is long but any advice would sure be appreciated.


ocean

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Re: Can I keep my son safe in pa?
« Reply #1 on: Apr 27, 2012, 05:08:03 PM »
What do  you have now through the courts if anything?

bb1434

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Re: Can I keep my son safe in pa?
« Reply #2 on: Apr 27, 2012, 06:32:02 PM »
Right now, I unfortunately don't have anything with the courts. The only thing I have is a signed temporary agreement with the mother that states she can't bring him near her ex for six months. It was just a temporary agreement that also spells out custody arrangements. It wasn't presented to the courts so I know it's not legally binding but she doesn't realize that.

 

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