It is a pain but cover yourself at all times. Bring a friend with you for visitation pick-ups and have them at least audio tape it/video it. Ask for the pick up place to change, can you pick up from the kids school/daycare and return them there? If they are old enough to walk, you can say that you will meet in the police parking lot (they tape their lots) and she is not to get out of car, kids get out and walk to you, you put them in car. OR if she is really afraid, she has someone else do the exchange. Many divorces go this route and judges have seen it over and over.
Many times divorces take over a year to settle if you have to go to trial so this may be for a while. Get a very detailed
parenting plan on exactly when, where, and how you are to get the kids (exact times, places, and dates when possible).
Your lawyer can offer a detailed pick up/drop off plan and added statements to protect both of you and then you can drop the RO "both parents will not visit each others houses or places of employment unless it is an emergency with the children". "Since both parents live in same area, if/when they are in the same place, they will refrain from speaking to each other but both parties are allowed at public places and children's school/activities".
Stuff like that...