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Author Topic: lookin gfor opinions on what just happened with my custody and placement  (Read 1460 times)


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it has been a week now since the f--ct up wisconsin family court decided to make me a poster advocate for absent fathers. my story is a long one but i will briefly describe. when my daughter was 5 months old somehow her arm got broken. I know i did nothing to harm her but the mother did everything she could to try and sink my ship and take my kid from me. Lie after lie after lie. It was a year long process for us both to get our daughter back in our care since she was living with my sister while the legal people and social workers investigated. From the minute my daughter was born her mom changed into a whole different person and started to alienate me so i kicked her out of my house. Nothing i did for my kid was good enough in her evil eyes. Anyways, after court appearance after court apperance we were both granted joint legal custody and a totally equal 50/50 placement schedule. so in reality at that time i sunk the moms ship because she wanted sole custody and for me to see my daughter once a week. The G.A.L was on my side from the minute he took the case, standing behind me and my fathers rights. Well my daughter is 3 now and has been living under the 50/50 placement since she was 1. We just had a review hearing a week ago and the mom came in there LYING her you know what off. She had a lawyer i dismissed mine after getting equal placement. Everything that came out of her mouth was a lie but the stupid gender biased judge believed every word of it. When it was my turn to defend myself the judge barely let me talk and then twisted everything i said around putting words in my mouth. The only thing i did wrong per the judges orders was not attend co-parenting counseling, but have valid reasons for why i didnt. the judge didn't care and said to me "i am going to punish you now and impose sanctions. This prior criminal court judge granted sole custody to mom and only gave me 2 days a month with my kid. This cold hearted judge had no concernes for my daughters well being and best interests and even disregarded the G.A.L's recomendation to leave everything the way it was at 50/50. I now have a 5 month old son with another woman so she just totally tore them apart from each other. The judge made a biased opinion of me the first time she saw me because of my hair style and pierced ears and just about called me stupid because i never graduated high school. How can these so called "legal" officials sleep at night??? MY question after that long story is, does anyone out there think i can win my custody back if i take it to the court of appeals??? Also does anyone know if there is a time limit in which to file an appeal in milwaukee county??? Someone please steer me in the right direction!!!! THIS COURT SYSTEM IS WRONG WRONG WRONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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Probably not what you want to hear, but since you asked for advice:

1. Start by doing what the court tells you to do. There's no valid reason for not attending the court-ordered co-parenting course. None. You basically told the court that you were unwilling to listen to anything they say. They chose to give the child to the person who IS willing to follow court orders - at least as far as they can tell.

2. Get an attorney. You shouldn't go into this alone - particularly without having even a high school education.

3. The more time you spend bashing the other person, the less likely the judge is to give you custody. No one's perfect, but your entire post is full of anger and bitterness about the person who IS the mother of your child. In fact, counseling to help you deal with your anger would probably be appropriate.

4. Don't spend all your time badmouthing the judge and court system. Like it or not, they are in control. I would guess that they're far more concerned about your anger and biterness than your jewelry.

Now, to answer your specific question, it's very difficult to overturn a court ruling. You need to be able to approve a serious procedural error or an obvious bias. You could get a copy of the transcripts of your trial and have an attorney go over them. If it really happened the way you said, then there's a very slim outside chance that the attorney can show bias enough to request a new trial. Another possible grounds would be if there was insufficient time for you to obtain representation and you asked for a delay but they didn't grant it. THAT is the kind of thing you're going to have to prove in order to win a new trial ("the judge didn't like me because I have long hair" isn't going to cut it).

And, yes, there's a time limit. The judge should have told you what it is, but if not you can get it from the court clerk. And do NOT ignore the time limit. The court of appeals won't accept excuses.


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What was the basis of the change from 50:50 to her primary? Judge should have included reasoning for the 'substantial change' in the ruling. If there was NO actual changes warranting the custody to be changed, THEN I would:

File for the appeal
obtain counsel
take out the earrings
make an appointment and attend a co-parenting class
change your hairstyle(at least long enough for court and parenting classes)
dress appropriately for court

pray and pray and pray some more that you are given a second bite at the legal system.

If you do bring it before the court and you lose, be prepared to pay HER attorney's fees along with your own.


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You might get a better response if you broke your post down to paragraphs.

You sound like a concerned parent and that is a plus for you...


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I am so sorry that this has happend to you.  I am a NCM of ten year's standing. I , too , had 50 50 placement.  When my X threatened me I asked my attorny for a PFA.  She told me to jump off a bridge and told me I needed a custody eval.  She said that since I was divorced the PFA would anger the judge.  I took her advice and underwent a custody evel in which the father told mutual frineds not to worry that he was assured of getting custody. he was able to say this at least nine full months before the report came out.  The evalautor was biased and worded her eval in such a way that I sounded crazy.  I psych eval later, whne I had expert witness testimony that not only was I not nuts, but was "high functioning" status quo was established adn I was stuck with getting two weekends a month.

The children are aliented, dad allows them to run about in shoes with holes so big their feet get wet from the morning dew. Yes, they wear these shoes to school.  DD wore a belt that was duct taped together. She fianlly askd me to buy her a new one when she next casme for visitation. I had to take da to court for a mod just to get him to put medically necessary braces on DD's teeth.  He allowed her perscription allergy medicine  to go 18 months wit hno refill, instead giving her high does of Benedryl which was so sedating her school work began to suffer.

Now before you jump to conclusions_ pay my guideline support even thoug I am disabled and qualify for food stamps, medical and energy asssitance.  Dad makes 70K a year!

Dad still retains custody due tot he stauts quo.

My point in telling you all this is that I was unable to chage custody even with several serious breaches of paretnal responsiblitiy and several counts of contempt against the X.

You must aboslutely know every legal right you have.  I would never set foot in a custody court without a lawyer- no matter why I was there.

If I had it to do over again I would not try to change custody but move for modification of the visiting schedule.  Try to slowly work your way up to 50-50.  As your child gets older, you will need a "professional" on your side.  A counselor or psychologist who will testify that it is in your child's best interest for yout o have greater parenting time.
Learn to pharse everything you say to be about your child's best interest.  For expamle: "I htink its in my child's best interest to spend every weekend with me becasue I take her to church every Sunday adn her spirtual education si important to the foundation of who she is in the world" OR some such thing.  Make EVERYHTIng you say to anyone about the child.

Never go against a court order. If you have an issue with somethng that's ordered, have your attorney deal with it but if its still ordered, do it.
This custody business is a game.  Learn to play it well. look th epart, learn to say what the judge will listen to.  Only say what you have concrete proof of.  I don't even say good morning these days unless I can acutlly prove it is.  Its a twisted way to live, but if you an to be a part of your child's life, this is the world in which you now reside.

I don't mean to be harsh, but knowledge is power.  My mistake was believing my X's words and not vigorously defending my position early on. It s much easier to have a biased custody evalautor removed than it is to try to defend against a bad custody eval.

Lear how to be the best paretn you can be and make the most of each and every secod of parenting time you ever get becasue children grow all too fast.  My eldest turns 18 in just a week!


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