I know....we just found out this weekend just how far they're willing to go, including fracturing the entire family........
Warning: lengthy....this is mainly a vent.......
This past weekend was DS' weekend to have GD. We couldn't get in touch with
BM...she refused to return our calls.
DH went over Friday afternoon before 5 to get her and BM's car was not at her apt. I met DH, we exchanged the car seat, and I went over after 5....her car was there. I knocked on her door at least a dozen times....I could hear her and GD in the apt., but she would not answer. By now I'm getting REALLY worried about the wellbeing for both of them.
I called DH and we both decided I needed to call police to do a welfare check. Three cops came.....one went in to talk to her. I explained to another what had happened last weekend. The 1st cop came out and told me that the reason she decided to NOT allow us to have GD for even part of Father's Day is because she thought DH and I were drunk when we talked to her that Sat. night. I laughed, which made the cop look at me funny....I told him he could ask anyone who knows me that I'm lucky if I have one cocktail a MONTH. It's been many years since I've been drunk. But he said that she doesn't feel comfortable with me taking GD that evening.
The NCO was due to expire on June 22nd. She filed to have it renewed on June 20th. I looked on the online court system and it specifically states that until a decision is made to renew or drop, the current order is in effect. So while the cops were there, who shows up but my brother, SIL and nephew. And I can tell immediately that my brother is PISSED. When I said it's DS' weekend to have GD, my SIL said that order expired....little do they know that they violated that order. They said they came because they were taking BM and GD out to dinner. I know they only came because BM called them to tell them I called the cops. So I had to leave empty-handed.
On Sat., my mom calls from the hospital, asking if I had done something for her she had asked me to do and, because of that request and what I had to do (B and SIL took it out of my hands) I had no choice but to tell her everything that was going on. For being 91 and in the hospital, I could immediately tell she was upset. I heard a tenor in her voice that I haven't heard in years.
Later that day, DS got the notice for the hearing on Tuesday from the court. BM is asking to have intermediaries changed. She feels that DH and I are a threat to GD's safety....I won't go into details why here, but apparently it's only become an issue within the past 2 weeks. We did ALL the exchanges EOW from June of last year until then with no problems whatsoever. And guess who she wants to have for intermediaries....yup, my brother and SIL. My brother has never been thru the family court system so he has absolutely NO clue what he's getting into. My SIL has been thru a divorce, but her ex wanted nothing to do with the kids, so she really doesn't have a clue, either.
So yesterday DH and I went to church. We sat in the last pew and my B, SIL and nephew were sitting about 4 pews ahead of us, with GD. They realized quickly that we were there and made sure that GD didn't see us. If she had, she would have most certainly pitched a holy fit. She loves us both, but absolutely ADORES her Grandpa and she would have done everything possible to get to him. Fine...at least we got to see her from afar. During the service, at the time to greet others, my nephew purposely came back to DH and I to shake our hands. That told me he does not condone what his parents are doing...to do that in front of his parents took guts. We left immediately after the service...we could have stayed, as they were having a potluck, but we're not about to stoop to their level.
Then we went to see Mom....one of the first comments she made was that she wanted B, SIL and BM in front of her so she could shake them. That's my mom's way of saying she's pissed.
She also said she'd like to talk to B alone and said 'Do you think he'd listen to his mother?' I told her I didn't know, but it might make him even more mad at me. I point blank asked her what did I ever do to him to make him so mad at me and why is he holding a grudge against DS for over 15 years? Of course, she didn't have an answer. But we also realized that my brother is trying to block me from any decision-making having to do with Mom. He has sole medical and legal
POA on Mom and may be sole executor on her will. The last time she had updated it was after my dad passed away, in 1991, so she can't remember. Before we left, she pointedly told me 'I want you on EVERYTHING', so she will have to make new POA's and I have to check with her atty. to find out the executor status on her will...that may have to be changed, too. I have a feeling that the POA's and her will are in her safe box at home....but since B and SIL have her purse and keys while she's in the hospital, only they have access to it.
Then tomorrow, DS, DH and I have to defend ourselves in court.........we'll see how that goes.........
