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Author Topic: Want shared time / custody /visits in CT - need attorney New Haven or CT  (Read 1332 times)

Jsesq1

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Any recommendations on attorneys or lawyers to steer clear of in Connecticut or if know near New haven for father's rights and custody.  My wife has been telling lies about me, and now my children are now afraid of me and don't want to see me.  Need family attorney for this and divorce.  Please any suggestions? 


MixedBag

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While I'd love to recommend someone.....we're not able to do that because I would have no clue.

We're just a group of common folks who have BTDT over the years -- collectively speaking -- that want to share our experiences and advice to help the next parent down the road.

Lying from the other side is normal -- my EX-husband did a bunch of that too

There are articles here on the site to help you get started.

http://deltabravo.net/cms/plugins/content/content.php


Jsesq1

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Thank you.

tigger

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Documentation is key.  It'll help with the lies (at least some of them depending on what they are).  Also, instead of just telling the children, "Your mother is lying." or"That's not true." or simply saying nothing, ask your children questions that will have them remembering things or comparing the truth of their experience vs lies they are being told and allow them to come to their own conclusions. 
For example, I know my birth mother has lied because what she has said happened doesn't match to what I experienced.  I know at what age I was taught how to properly answer the phone and that I was the primary person to answer the phone after that.  So no, she didn't "call all the time and was never allowed to speak with me".  I was the only one home in the afternoons and I answered the phone even when my parents were home because I could do it properly (my dad was hospital administration so I was taught phone etiquette as if I were an adult.)  She says that my dad had a horrible temper and she was afraid of him.  (So you left two children under the age of 6 with a tyrant?  Really?)

You don't need to draw kids into the battle between the adults and attacking your ex (STBX) is only going to make them come to her defense.  But getting them to compare a known, experienced truth with a verbal lie will shine a light without an attack.
The wonderful thing about tiggers is I'm the only one!

ocean

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Also, ask for court ordered counseling with you and the kids if it is really bad. This will get them in a room with you at least and a person who can steer the direction and get them talking without mom interrupting.
As far as finding a lawyer, go to family court and sit and watch in waiting room. Some courts are even open (by law as long as you are not going to testify you can be in the room too but many dont have chairs or set up to handle it). Watch and see who is good with other clients. You can also call a few lawyers and have a free or small fee first meeting and interview them. If you interview them, your ex can never use them, tactic some use.

DO you have a court date already? If not, you can file yourself too at family court for visitation only (Before you file for divorce as divorce may take years......). Family court will be cheaper and then you can take that order and merge it into the divorce later. This will get your ex out of the visitation conversation if there is a set schedule when to see them. Also email or text your ex once or twice a week asking "I miss the kids and they need both their parents in their life,  when can you meet me to see them, maybe at the library or mcdonald for an hour? Let me know which day would be good." This gives you documentation to show you are trying with your ex. If the kids are old enough to have cell phones or social media...text them "dad love you, call anytime"  " how was school, just checking on you, love dad".  You can send them things in the mail, or drop off if ex allows....Valentines day package ?   If ex answers meanly, ignore, screen shot it, save messages.
Good luck!


Jsesq1

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Thank you all - Tigger, Mixed Bag & Ocean! Good ideas.

 

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