Thank you for all your help, My DH has died.

[whippertizzy]

Thank you for all your help, Dh died yesterday with complications from a surgery.  He appreciated all your help with his children, and I am forever thankful for all your helpful advice. His Ex seems to be more upset than me, and I am not sure if his daughters know yet. Yet again thank you for all of your help.

[Kitty C.]

Oh no!!!!!!!!!  I am SO sorry, WT!!!!!!!!!!

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family during this incredibly difficult time!

And you are more than welcome to keep coming here.....you have friends here, I hope you know that.  We care about you!

[kitten]

So sorry for yours and the childrens loss.
My thoughts are with you.

[joni]

Sorry for your loss, you and your family are in our prayers.

[smtotwo]

(((((WT)))))

[MYSONSDAD]

My prayers and thoughts are with you and your family.

We will be here when you need us...

[Kimberly9]

Hugs and prayers for you and your family.

You are living  my biggest nightmare -- the loss of my dh and the loss of my stepchild because I know that I would be cut out of their life forever.

I am glad he got to see the girls last month.  My heart goes out to you.

[StPaulieGirl]

I'm not really good at this, but please accept my sympathy towards your husbands death.  My prayers are with you and your family.

[sweetnsad]

My deepest sympathies to you and yours.  You have my prayers.

[SadStepMom]

I am so sorry you have to go through this.  

SSM

[junglechicken]

Although we haven't talked, my thoughts and prayers are with you.  Not to mention my deepest sympathies.  There aren't words.

I hope you have a lot of family support and friends around for you during this time.

[whippertizzy]

Thank you all for your help. You all can see I have a post at Socs board, so I don't have to rehash it all here. When it rains it pours.

[Kimberly9]

Your husband just died for crying out loud!  Her daughters have LOST their father and she is ranting to you on the phone??????????

Again, my deepest sympathies.

Try this website:

http://www.ssa.gov/survivorplan/index.htm

Links off of it explain the different benefits that are available and what paperwork is necessary to apply and the process that you need to through.  Good luck has you wade through this.  

[Kitty C.]

I read our post to Soc and have to tell you that my heart goes out ot you.

DS's dad passed away 2 years ago, and he's been getting SS survivor benefits every since.  DS's SM gave me a certified copy of the death certificate right away but there weren't the complications involved like there are in your case.

As for her going over your head, all I can tell you is to keep your ear to the ground on this one.  Tell anyone that you're dealing with in regards to the investigation about the situation, so as to give them a heads-up if they are confronted by her.

But as for the rest of it, let her blow.  I have a feeling that she's gonna get stopped cold and all the hot air she's blowing right now is just that, and a way to try to intimidate you. One other thing, tho.  If she continues to do this, report her to the cops IMMEDIATELY.  LEA and the judicial system do NOT take kindly to anyone berating someone grieving over a lost loved one.  There's too many people, especially strangers, who try to take advantage of grieving families and it is considered a crime.

As for the CS arrearage, if she wants it, tell her she can take you to court over it.  You have NO obligation to that debt whatsoever.  If there is anything left over from the life insurance, you might be required to give it to her, but ONLY after being court-ordered.  I wouldn't do it any other way.  And if she pushes the issue that far, demand that she pay ALL court costs and atty. fees as well.  There's a possibility that she'd still come out behind after all is said and done.

DS was lucky, in that his dad was 19 years older than me (62 when he passed away).....he had a much longer employment history, thus had contributed to SS for  much longer as well.  I don't know how old your DH was, or how much he may have contributed to SS his entire life, but if he didn't have as extensive employment history, the BM may find the SS survivor benefits MUCH less than what she received in CS!  Stranger things have happened!  Check the most recent SS report (you usually get them around your birthday) and it will tell you how much your survivors will get if you passed away now.  It will at least give you a ball park estimate on what she will be receiving for the kids.

And the BIG difference between CS and SS benefits????  She MUST account for ALL of it!  And if she has a criminal history, they will not allow her to be conservator of the benefits!

WT, if you have any other questions about this, I will try to help or point you in the direction where you can find it, okay?

[jilly]

I am so very sorry for your loss. I can't imagine what you're going through. And those poor children :(  
I read your post to Soc and I was absoltuely dumbfounded. What a piece of sh** that "woman" is. And calling her either one of those is an insult to sh** and women. Just do what you can to keep on top of the situation so she doesn't get away with anything.
Remember: this too shall pass. (((HUG))

[StPaulieGirl]

I don't think people like her should be around children or animals.  There is such a thing as common decency.  Apparently that would be a foreign concept to her.

It does take some time for the government to get out the death certificate.  If there is an investigation regarding your husband's death, it will undoubtably take forever :-(  I think that you qualify for survivor's benefits, but I'm not sure how that works.  If your husband's marriage to this person was long enough, then she also is a beneficiary of social security.

I do know for a fact that she can't sue you personally for back child support.  Perhaps she can find a lawyer slimy enough to subpeona all yours and your husband's financial records.  

Too bad that the mother cannot respect that the father of her children died....if not just for the children.  

It's best to see what Socrateaser has to say.

[Stepmomnow]

Whispering Lizzy

I am so sorry for your loss.  Reading your post reminds me that I have to get our trusts done ASAP, because you never know what will happen.

Child support ends with the death of the parent that owes it.  She can get back child support out of DH's estate, meaning that before the estate is divided up, it will have to pay all of the debts (including the debts he owed during your marriage) before it can be divided up.  Please DO NOT pay any of DH's personal bills until you consult with an attorney.  Often credit card companies and others will try to get a greiving spouse to start paying on a bill that is the separate property of the decedent and that the spouse has no obligation to pay.  

Good luck to you

[hisliltulip]

I am so sorry for your loss.

His ex is unbelievable.  You had better get an attorney, that way she can talk to them, instead of you.

I am sure you don't need her crap right now.

(((((((((((WT)))))))))))

God Bless

[MYSONSDAD]

Great idea! I would have the attorney send her a certified letter stating that from here on out, she would have to go thru the attorney in all regards.

"Children learn what they live"

[msme]

If you don't have an answering machine, I would get one. That way you do not need to speak to her & you will have recordings of all of her crap. If it becomes excessive, you can use it to get a charge of harrassment on her.

My deepest sympathies to you & the children. I pray that you are able to keep up your relationship with them. I have put you all on our family's prayer list.

Good luck & God bless

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