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Author Topic: Supervised visits for 12 yr old?  (Read 1111 times)

littlebit

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Supervised visits for 12 yr old?
« on: Nov 28, 2005, 06:59:57 PM »
I wonder if it's possible to get supervised visits for my 12yr old son and his BM?  Even now that I have temporary custody (likely to be permanent in January), she simply will not stop playing with his head and his emotions.  Her negative actions in this area have been noted by the GAL, the evaluator, and son's phycologist.  And they have all told her to STOP, but she won't.

I have been recording thier phone coversations for 8 months and BM knows it.  At first she backed off, but now, with court fast approaching, she is worse than ever on son. And if she is doing this over the phone, I can not even imagine what he must go through during the weekends he is with her.

For example, son will sit on the phone with her and say maybe 2 words, mostly just uh-huh's and mm-hmm's, etc.  Nothing personal to her, he's just not a phone-talker, he does that to everybody.  She gets angry about it, starts fussing at him, and crying, saying how she only gets so much time to talk to him, and she misses him so much, and his siblings miss him so much, and if she means that little to him she will just hang up right now....then she hangs up on him!

That type of crying, emotional, guilt-trip, is happening almost weekly now over one thing or another.  And twice he has mentioned to her that he wanted to stay with me more than the scheduled time, and she went off the deep end with the crying and screaming over the phone until he was apologizing and trying to calm her down!

She will tell him every detail of communications between me & her, between her & her attorney, between our two attorneys, and every thing that happens having to do with court, visitaions, etc., she tells him these things.  She even refers to the attorneys and the judge by first name when talking to our son!

She has encouraged him to be defiant to my wife and to disregard her rules.  She told him it was my fault he had to repeat 5th grade (she was home-schooling him!).  She puts her 4 & 5 yr old on the phone to ask him when he's coming back home.

These things have a noticeable affect on him.  I cannot stop him from talking to her and seeing her, and I don't even want to do that.  I just want her to let him be a child and stop putting such burdens on him!  I want her to enjoy our son, and allow him to enjoy BOTH of us without having to even know anything else is going on!

After being advised to change her ways, and after losing custody, and now that son is started to withdraw from her, she still will not stop.  So I can only assume that nothing will ever change her behaviors.  The only thing I know to do is ask for some type of supervision for visits and phone calls so someone can stop her when she start in on him.

Has anyone ever known of supervised visits for a child 12 yrs old?  Or maybe some other solutions.  Surely someone out there has gotten some resolution to this type of behavior against a child.  I'm trying so hard to do right, and to encourage a relationship between my son and his Mother, but sometimes I wonder if that really is the right thing to do?

LittleBit


MixedBag

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RE: Supervised visits for 12 yr old?
« Reply #1 on: Nov 29, 2005, 04:42:31 PM »
The ONLY way you have a shot at accomplishing this is for the GAL, evaluator and counselor to get on the stand and recommend supervised time with the Mom in the permanent custody order.

You can ask, and they can recommend, but it's up to a judge to decide.

 

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