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Author Topic: For the love of a daughter  (Read 1052 times)


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For the love of a daughter
« on: Dec 25, 2005, 11:16:15 AM »

It is 6:00 AM on Christmas Day.  There are no presents under the tree or excited children squealing with delight at full stockings.  Yes, I do have children.  I have 3 daughters.  Thanks to family court I am forced to pay for their support but I can’t see them unless I can afford to pay for a lawyer too.  The judge sees to it that I will never be able to afford a lawyer for visitation because as soon as I make enough money to set some aside my ex wants the child support raised.  Therefore,  I must be a “good” father and pay through the nose for children I can’t help raise.  When will the courts recognize that even more important than money is the support and influence of a loving father?

My first wife has my first two daughters.  I was paying child support regularly until her uncle confronted me with a gun saying that I could no longer come there to see my children.  She wouldn’t bring them to me.  She began to lie to the children telling them that I didn’t love them and didn’t care about them.  I stopped paying child support in an effort to see the children.  All that did was land me in court for non-payment of child support.  The judge didn’t want to hear how she had ignored her part of the court order on allowing visitation.  Now these daughters are 14 and 15 and I haven’t seen them for 7 years.  The judge said I could call when I wanted but either the girls weren’t there or they were screaming in the background “NO!”.  Can you imagine what that feels like?  Yet I must pay her support while she continues to raise my daughters without morals or ethics.  Just recently, the girls were caught selling themselves online but the case was dropped due to lack of evidence.  I know those children are gone.

I have a third daughter by my ex-girlfriend.  She saw what my exwife got away with ignoring the court orders.  In the beginning, I got to see my daughter once in a while when Verna wanted to have someone babysit and couldn’t find anyone.  Then, I had to do favors for her in order to see my daughter.  There was one time I had to lay in a snow bank during a snow storm and fix her car just so I could see my daughter.  When I met someone new she would keep my daughter away and harrass me until the new woman left.  Finally, I met a woman who was strong enough to take Verna’s crude and degrading tactics.  She is now my new wife and I haven’t seen my daughter in 22 months.

Now I am being called into court for failure to pay child support because I haven’t had a job since October of 2004.  My wife is now disabled but we pay the child support as much as we can.  Her disability ran out the end of last October and I have been looking for a job since August.  Even so, that child support was the first thing paid every month.  She got the money even though there were times we couldn’t afford my wife’s medicine or gas for the truck.  The last 3 months we have been living on less than 200.00 which is only 2.00 more than the child support she gets.  In order to see my daughter I have to come up with $1000.00 just for a lawyer to start the case.  How is that going to happen?

I must pay this woman even though every communication from her is abusive and full of lies.  In the meantime my daughter is turning 10 and she doesn’t even know I care.  So I guess the third daughter will end up the same as the other two.  Family Court doesn’t care about anything except money, money, money.  Where, in that, does my child know that I love her?

I hope you had a happy holiday time filled with love and joy.


James K. Karnes


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