Custodial Parent Moved !!

[a_boring]

First off thank you for taking the time to read my post:

I have just found out through my sent certified letter, that CP has moved and left no forwarding address! I do not have any contact with my daughter unless it is Summer visit; not by my choice. CP always changes phone, does not allow daughter to call. The family is no help, they are scared to help or give me any information.

This has been going on for 4 years now and I just can not take anymore, I do not have the energy to keep fighting. I mean I pay my CS through the state agency and health insurance that has NEVER been used, but I can not even talk to or now apparently spend the summer with my daughter?

I know I should hire an attorney, but I am so spooked about hiring the "wrong" attorney. Does anyone have any other suggestions? I have scoured the yellow pages online, I have called information; I just do not know what to do anymore.

Thank you in advance for your help.

a_boring in MO
CP in TX

[Cookiemomma4]

I by no means am an expert on your situation as we have never dealt with it as it is happening...however, my ex-husband's first wife did this to him before we met and he just let it drop as the state said that they would find her and he was homeless for a time...Anyway, here are my thoughts and someone please say so if I am wrong.
1.  My first step would be to call domestic relations.  From my understanding, they will give you her address and it needs to be current in their system for her to continue recieving.  
2.  If she has not updated DR and they are continueing to pay her, (most states don't even send out paper checks anymore, and it is simply a direct dep.) request that the child support for your daughter's care be placed in an escrow acct until your ex has updated the information.   Most court orders state that you must be kept apprised of your child's residential address or a means of keeping in contact.  If this is your case, she is now in contempt of court and you will not be "in trouble" for this act because you a) continued "saving" the money for your daughters care in good faith in that escrow acct.  Nothing will draw out most CP like stopping the money ya know!

I know that their are also some actions that can be taken through the custody office as well.  Maybe someone else here can give you a heads up on that.

What I can tell you is that the state is often not quick to act from what  I hear and if you can find her first, go for it.  There are all kinds of people searches avail.  We found my ex's first wife and 2 kids LONG before the state ever would have by using USA People Search.  It was really easy actually.

Good luck!

[a_boring]

Thank you so much for that information. However, what is a domestic relations office? I have never heard that term.

I have called the AG's office, where my CS is being routed through and they told me they are not "obligated to release ANY information" to me in regards to the CP.

Also, they stated they would not withhold, save, CS without a court order. Again thank you for your time.

a_boring MO
CP TX

[awakenlynn]

Iwould file a motion in court.  Have it specified that ex MUST maintain contact information.  The minute she drops out of site, go back for contempt.  Do this everytime and have a case built up.  If she didn't get permission to move, go to court.  In most cases, they are required to tell you.  If you don't know where she is, have  a certified copy of the petition to go to her last address, if it gets sent back it should go back to the courts(they have to send out the petitions for us-IL).  Talk to an attorney, find one who will work with you and what YOU want to do.  

File a motion, that anytime the CP drops out of site, the government agencies involved, must give out the information(if possible).  

Anything will be a start

[hagatha]

A,

The deal is no agency will release any contact information to you. It is against the policy pretty much across the board in every state. Don't waste any more time with this.

That being said, the first thing to do is call your local state bar association. Look for the numbers in the "blue" section of the phone book or call information.

When you call, explain your situation and ask for a referral to a family law specialist. They should give you several attorney numbers for contact.

Call all the attorneys they recomend and make sure you get the one that is right for you. There is an article here about hiring an attorney. Read that article.

That will be your starting point. After you discuss the case with them come back here for suggestions on what to ask them and how to proceed.

The Witch




Remember . . . KARMA is a Wonderful Thing!!!!!

[dsm]

Hiring attorney article from SPARC:

Questions to ask:  
http://deltabravo.net/custody/attyquestions.php

Basic rules:
http://deltabravo.net/custody/avoid.php


Tons of good reading on the article page:
http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/articles.php

Good luck - get your ducks in a row and we'll chat again.


==============================================================================

dsm - 35; DH - 39; SD - 16; LO - 10; BB - 3
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3 Cheap Entertainment cats - Sam,  Snoop & Dagger
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Live, Love, and Laugh

[a_boring]

Thank you all for your suggestions and sharing your knowledge. I was told about this site from a gentleman I met @ a NCP group I belong to here in Saint Louis.

I have found this site to actually be addicting! Thank you again for your time.

Sincerley,
A_Boring MO

[Giggles]

It's free and if she's established a new residence...it may show up??

http://www.zabasearch.com/

Just enter her name (full name) and state...worth a try

[Giggles]

...

[Giggles]

...

[patton]

I'm in Texas and pretty familiar with  a lot of the counties.  What Texas County is the court order/C/S in?   PM or leave me an email if you want to.  I might be able to refer you to a really good atty here.

 

[MixedBag]

first off, you gotta keep after your childone way or another.  Find the energy!

if your child is in school, maybe the school system will tell you where they sent the child's records.

did she move far away?  or some new place in town?

The focus should be on how it affects your child's time with you and then file whatever you need to with the courts.

Patton is a good person to help in TX...

[a_boring]

Patton- Thanks for offering your support. THe original order was in Brazoria County Tx also know as H3LL. Sorry about that; anyway, any and all help is greatly appreciated.

Maybe you know a little about filing motions Pro Se? The county website has a list of costs for filing and serving etc...but ofcourse has no instruction.

Thanks to you all, sorry I dont get on much but I do so much appreciate your time.

A_Boring MO
CP TX

[a_boring]

MixedBag- I am really trying to stay sane and motivated. Unforunately, I have had to ask my primary care physician for some anxiety meds. Talk about embarassing.

I have contacted my daughteres old school, they have never been much help. I did what it said on here about 3 years ago sending the letters to the school and a copy of the decree stating I was to have this information. Even faught with the Super about not being on my daughters records as emergency contact or parent. They are absolutly far from helpful.

As far as knowing where they moved, I have no clue. Ex Mother Inlaw, states she does not know where or have a phone # or address. I tried the local police department, being they know the CP VERY well, and they stated they had no idea about move. I mean I had to call the police when the hurricanes were supposed to hit Freeport TX, that is exactly where they used to live! The police called me back just stating the home was boarded up and noone was there.

This has become very disheartining, and I am trying my darndest to stay positive; maybe I am just feeling sorry for myself.. Sorry about the ramble'n.

Thank you for your help and time.

A_Boring MO
CP TX

[MixedBag]

O.K., no clue.

Just how FAR do you think she went?

Same county, state, etc...

If it's not that far -- and you know what grade your kids should be in, and YES, I know schools are gonna be out for the summer soon,

I'd be picking up the phone and calling every elementary school, or high school, and asking if they have your child enrolled.

It takes time, but it's a start and if you hit the jackpot, think how good that will be.

Above all, keep your thinking cap on and keep after the children.

We had to do something similar twice....

[thesmithfamily_5]

>Thank you so much for that information. However, what is a
>domestic relations office? I have never heard that term.
>
>I have called the AG's office, where my CS is being routed
>through and they told me they are not "obligated to release
>ANY information" to me in regards to the CP.
>
>Also, they stated they would not withhold, save, CS without a
>court order. Again thank you for your time.
>
>a_boring MO
>CP TX

My DH has a son whom he has never met. It was a stupid night in high school, and he's regretted the whole matter ever since. (Esp not being at the hearing... she got away w/ murder!) anyway, He's required to maintain health insurance on this child, who's 11 now, if it's available through work. But we had NO information about this kid to enroll him in any ins... they want details. So we were advised by an atty to send a letter to the AG office for them to forward to her. Send it certified, return receipt requested. There were 2 letters, one to AG and one to her asking for all the info. The letter to the AG said "Please forward this letter to the mother of my child so that I may comply with the court order to provide insurance for my child." and the letter to her was all the info we needed to obtain an insurance policy.

Well, we never got a response back from BM, but we've never been bugged by the AG about paying for insurance, either.

Anyway, that long story was so you have an idea of how to relay information to your kid's sorry BM. We didn't seal the envelope of the letter to BM and they got a copy to keep in their file, as well.

Sorry you're going through so much crap. It's like a club for these people.... the "Let's see how miserable we can make them" club...