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Author Topic: Birthday Visitation  (Read 2432 times)


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Birthday Visitation
« on: Jul 24, 2006, 08:19:57 AM »
Our court hearings took place in Arkansas, so that is the state we are dealing with. DH went for custody of Step-daughter (now 7) three years ago. Long story short, we lost. DH was givin visitation, EOW and 6wks out of the summer.

After court, DH and BM agreed to keep the visitation for holidays, etc. the same as the divorce decree (where the first custody order was stated).

In the divorce decree it stated that DH was to have SD the day before her birthday and BM got her the day of her birthday. Unitl this year, the day before SDs birthday has fallen on a school night. It falls on a Saturday this year , but happens to be BMs weekend. We sense a problem b/c she is being difficult about some other things.

We want to do something special for her birthday, and the day before her birthday will be our only chance. The new custody order doesn't say anything about the child's birthday at all. It does, however, state visititation on each parent's birthday. This leads us to believe it was accidentally left out, and that neither side caught it.

We are not wanting to go to BM and say anything about court, but want to know the facts when/if she tells us no. With that said...

#1 Would we be able to call the courthouse and ask what would be standard, or would that be silly?

#2 Would we have to get a lawyer and go through court papers and a hearing to get this ordered?

#3 Since there is not a current order that specifies visitation on the child's birthday does the original divorce decree stand only on birthday visition?

Thank you,


Kitty C.

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RE: Birthday Visitation
« Reply #1 on: Jul 24, 2006, 01:40:58 PM »
Does it state in either order that holiday/special occasion visitation takes precedence over regular weekend visitation?  If so, then there's your out.  Go with BOTH orders, since she agreed to use that as well.  Sooner or later the tables will be turned (you might want to tell her that as well) and she would want it 'fair' for her as well.
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I understand the desire
« Reply #2 on: Jul 25, 2006, 06:39:04 AM »
to plan something on the day of her birthday. . . really I do.  But, if I were you. I would plan it for the weekend before or after and avoid the hassle.  Your 7 year old step daughter won't care what day it is.  It is more important to her that her parents get along.  So have a great celebration on a time that she is already scheduled to be with you.  There will be more important battles to fight as she gets older.

Is it in writing that DH and BM agreed to keep the visitation for holidays, etc. the same as the divorce decree?  Is it in writing that holidays supercede the regular visits?  Unless the answer to both of these questions is Yes, you don't stand much of a chance.


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RE: I understand the desire
« Reply #3 on: Jul 25, 2006, 08:31:57 AM »
Oh, we are not looking for a big arguement about this. We just want to know if we have anything legally on our side, so if BM makes it a big deal we will know what to say.  If she says no, and we can't rightfully make an argument, we will just let it go.  We aren't even asking for her on the day of her birthday.  We just want the day before, if at all possible.

No, it was a verbal agreement on the holidays, etc. from the divorce decree, but it does (the current order that is)  state that all holiday/visition supercedes regular visitis.  The current order mentions NOTHING at all about the previous order/divorce decree or the child's birthday.  

I read the current order again, and it doesn't mention the previous order/divorce decree at all.

1. Does that mean that we should still be able to refer back to the previous order/divorce decree if it refers to something that is absent from the current order?



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RE: Birthday Visitation-we had a similar issue
« Reply #4 on: Jul 25, 2006, 09:53:18 AM »
DH gets the 3rd week of june, july, august, actually he gets the third weekend through sunday of the 4th weekend.

Psychomom denied june saying we asked for the wrong week. However, what happened was the 1st that yr was on  a saturday and not the 1st full weekend.  She said it was, but DHs weekend starts  on friday.

I just called the court commisioners office and explained what happened.
They sent a letter of clarification to psychomom before the next month and we havent had a problem with her since.


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