Another father makes a fatal decision.........

[Kitty C.]

Father apparently kills two daughters, then self over marital dispute

The Associated Press

Last Updated 7:56 am PDT Tuesday, April 20, 2004

PALMDALE, Calif. (AP) - A man who family members believe was upset over a possible separation with his wife shot his two daughters in his home before killing himself, authorities said.
Los Angeles County sheriff's deputies arrived to the house about 4 a.m. Monday after receiving a call about gunshots.
   
 A woman came out of the single-family house and told deputies that she believed her husband and two children had been shot inside, authorities said. Deputies entered the house and discovered the victims' bodies in an upstairs bedroom.
Authorities believe the father shot his daughters before fatally wounding himself. All three had been shot in the upper body.

The names of the victims were not released, but family members identified them as Robert Bennett, 40, and his two daughters, Heather, 15, and Kristin, 8. Family members indicated that the couple had been experiencing marital problems.

"I think my sister just wanted to separate," said Mandy Romo, sister of Rina Bennett. "There was nobody else. She just wanted to separate, and he didn't."

Romo said Bennett, who worked for nearly 16 years at the Miller brewery in Irwindale, never threatened her sister but wanted to keep the family together.

"I was shocked," neighbor Ron Cruz said of the killings. "He was a very quiet, nice guy."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yeah, I bet he was the nicest guy they knew.  But he also saw the writing on the wall.  She 'just wanted to separate'...sure.  Too bad we'll never hear her tell the TRUTH, that she told him to kiss her a$$ and that he'd never see his girls again.

It's just so incredibly sad that this father did the only thing he knew to stay in touch with his girls.....forever.  

[MYSONSDAD]

I am reading this the same way.

We had a case like this a few years ago. Everyone thought it was horrible what the father did. It turned out the mother deliberately kept him from his kids for years. He was just fed up. When he finally had his chance, he did the only thing he could.

"Children learn what they live"

[Peanutsdad]

WHOA!!!!


Hold the damn phone here!!!

I canNOT believe Im seeing sympathy for this. This sick sonofabitch KILLED his kids!!!!
He took a gun and he SHOT them,, how in hell is this ANY different than mothers that kill their kids?????

I dont give a good holy hot frak WHAT the effin reason is,,, THAT worthless piece of shit is gettin a nice hot corner of hell. I hope he enjoys it.


I dont give a good monkey roll what the reasons are,, parents that kill their kids are a step below child molesters in my book,, and that by God,, is pretty damn low.

Ok, his wife wanted to seperate, or divorce,, whatever. THAT gives him leave to KILL his kids???

[Kitty C.]

PD, there was another father who recently killed his kids in So. CA.  I almost had sympathy for him....until it was made known that he was some self-appointed cult leader.  Certifiable nut case.

Here, it's apparent that NO one (in this instance) ever expected this father to do something like this.  Yes, what he did was WRONG.  I won't deny it for a second.  It's the WHY I have very strong problems with.  What drove him to do it in the first place.  In the nut case above, the father did NOT kill himself...the first clue that this had nothing to do with custody and everything to do with this guy being mental.

I have yet to see a case where the father kills his kids and DOESN'T kill himself when there's custody issues involved.  If there is, it's rare. This father, and all the others before him who have gone to this extreme, wanted to save his children and himself from a lifetime of suffering.  Doesn't make what he did right, but it does make it understandable.

And if the vindictive STBX had been the least bit white about it, they'd ALL still be alive.

[Peanutsdad]

I stand my ground. If these parents had had the least bit of intestinal fortitude,, they would all still be alive.

[Kitty C.]

I totally agree with you, PD.  What I'm saying is I 'understand' why he felt he was driven to such a drastic solution.  And what is 'sad' is that the court system is one of the primary causes.

I have more pity and grief than anger.  Three beautiful lives wated....and for what?  

[Brent]

>When he finally had his chance, he did the only thing he could.

Sorry, but I can't agree with that. I could never say that murdering his own children was the "only thing he could do". There is no excuse for what he did, not in any way, shape, or form, and I don't care how "fed up" or distraught he was.

This man was no parent as far as I'm concerned, and trying to excuse or rationalize his behavior is impossible.

[MYSONSDAD]

I will admit that the wording I choose was way off. Running late for work when I posted.

I do not agree with what he did, I do not sympathize, I am not making excuses and I am not rationalizing his behavior, but I do understand.
Years of mental abuse can destroy the most normal person.

The case I was referring to revealed PAS in a major way by the mother and boyfriend. The father did make all attempts and contacted several agencies. No response, they can't do anything. The system failed him.
If someone had just listened, the outcome could have been so different. So many children are nothing more then a weekly paycheck. I wonder how many cases are overlooked.

Everyone has a degree of tolerance, some are stronger then others.
I have to ask myself how much I could endure knowing my children where being sexually, physically and mentally abused for years and my hands were tied.

This was the extreme. I feel it is terribly wrong. I pray everyday for the abused children. That someone will do something and take action.

 


"Children learn what they live"

[kiarab]

would you be so "understanding" if these were YOUR kids?  Your neice or nephew?  Come on Kitty, you "understanding" of this has to be the most foolish thing I've heard.  And you are NOT a foolish woman.

[Kitty C.]

I know first-hand about not being able to see any other way out.  About being so distraught that you can't possibly think straight enough to fight back.

This wasn't just murder, this was SUICIDE, too.  Not only have I contemplated it in the past, but I've also had to deal with it professionally in EMS.  It changes your perspective when it gets that up close and personal.

I will say again that is WAS a horrible waste of life and NEVER should have happened.  And yes, I WOULD be that understanding if it was DS and his father.  In fact, I would be hard-pressed not to follow them, because the guilt I would feel for knowing what drove him to such drastic measures would possibly drive me to it as well.

Until you've felt that depth of despair that you wanted to end your life and seen first hand how others have done it as well, you can't fully understand.

And remember, I said UNDERSTAND.  I NEVER said I condoned it, which I definitely do not.  Two totally different things.

[MYSONSDAD]

You just said what I couldn't. Not good with words...

I have very close contacts with all aspects of the professional fields that deal with this on a daily basis. Total depair CAN destroy the most well adjusted person. It will probably be some time before the true facts are revealed, but something snapped in this father. It can happen to the best of us.

We need more facilities to help fathers cope, more awareness. Too many cases and not enough people. So many are slipped under the rug.

[Kitty C.]

:-(

[kiddosmom]

This is a hard one to write.

what this man did was unexcusable. period.
when a woman does the same we are all ready to jump on the band wagon to damn her to hell. just because a man did the same is no reason to make excuses about it being understandable.

[Brent]

>what this man did was unexcusable. period.
>when a woman does the same we are all ready to jump on the
>band wagon to damn her to hell. just because a man did the
>same is no reason to make excuses about it being
>understandable.

That's my feeling exactly.

[Kitty C.]

I agree wholeheartedly.  I NEVER once said that what he did was okay.  Murder and suicide is NEVER okay.  But I'm not angry about it, just horribly sad that ANY parent would be driven to such desperate, final  decisions.

I have not and will not make an 'excuse' for what he did.  But it's almost unfathomable to imagine what he must have been thinking and feeling to go thru something so horrific, given the kind of man they described.  The pain must have been unbearable.

It's proof positive of the lack of services and help out there for situations such as this.  If you've never seen the aftermath on the scene of a suicide, you can't possibly know or imagine.  And to take two other very young, promising lives blows it completely out of proportion.

[MYSONSDAD]

From a previous post:  

"I do not agree with what he did, I do not sympathize, I am not making excuses and I am not rationalizing his behavior, but I do understand.
Years of mental abuse can destroy the most normal person."

The most devastationg call a Police Officer or EMT respond to, is a suicide.

Maybe it would be more productive if someone here could post available Men's shelters in the United Sates. I have looked for some time in a 100 mile radias with no luck.

[Kitty C.]

........and I've been on two of them, both with gun shots to the head.  I shudder to think what the emergency response personnel must be going thru after dealing with such a call as this.  Thank God for CISD (Critical Incident Stress Debriefing), or I would have lost it.

[MYSONSDAD]

When a person responds to the call, As soon as you walk in the room, a chill just goes thru you that can not be discribed. It goes thru your very soul.  You can actually feel the persons pain and anquish, almost like they are still there.

"Children learn what they live"