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Author Topic: Want changes to CO  (Read 1777 times)

Crockpot

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Want changes to CO
« on: Dec 26, 2007, 12:34:26 PM »
DH and his ex signed a new parenting time schedule last Spring (2006).  It had been in the 'works' for a year.  The CO was changed with attorney's help and signed by judge, we never went to court.  Just before they signed BM and kids moved much closer to us (they had lived an hour away).  Hindsight is 20/20, and now that they live closer we think some changes are needed.  

The CO states the girls are with DH from 5pm-7pm on Wed nights.  On and off in September and October, and regularly in November and December the girls have spent the night on Wednesdays with us.  This way we have time to have dinner and do homework and the girls aren't driving back and fourth most of the night.  BM likes to use this extra time as a carrot in front of DH (since it's not CO). If she gets mad about something she'll say "forget overnights on Wednesdays!"  Every time she back pedals and allows it.  It's highly annoying to say the least.  

The latest was this week.  She wants to end weekend visits earlier and said if DH does not agree then he can't have kids overnights on Wednesdays.  We're tired of her crap.  I've rearranged my work schedule to accommodate getting the girls to school on Thursday AM's.  I'm OK with doing it but I'm not going back and forth.  She hasn't taken the Wednesday overnights away, but continually threatens to.

To the questions.  I know most suggest a six month pattern before going to court to request changes, but can it be done with less?  We have about four months, two which are solid and two were on and off (mostly on).  We've been using the time tracker from SPARC.  

Also, if BM wants to change the exchange time on Sundays will she be able to request that in the same hearing or will she have to file her issues separately?  

We have some other changes we'd like to request too.  We'd like a smoking restriction in the homes (youngest has respiratory issues and BM smokes in their home) and no opposite sex overnight visitors.  BM has had two live in boyfriends in the last six months (and is in the process of her 2nd divorce).  

I'm assuming it's best to submit all this at once?  DH would like to do this without attorney this time.


mistoffolees

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RE: Want changes to CO
« Reply #1 on: Dec 26, 2007, 03:38:30 PM »
You're likely to have trouble making any changes - even if you've been getting away with more for a while.

In order to even get the court to consider things, you have to show a material change in circumstances. Since she moved before the old CO was signed, that's going to be tough.

Crockpot

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RE: Want changes to CO
« Reply #2 on: Dec 26, 2007, 07:38:31 PM »
We we so focused on getting the first CO, we never considered how things might change if BM moved closer to us.  If my memory is correct she moved less than a week before signing the order.  Previously they had no established parenting time.  It was written as DH having 'libral' visitation.  It took BM a year to agree to a standard plan.  And she was uncooperative the entire time.    

We're going to ask her to agree with adding the midweek overnights to the order if we give in on an earlier exchange on Sundays.  We lose an time but gain more mid-week.  We also get stability and assurance BM can't stop it.  

mistoffolees

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RE: Want changes to CO
« Reply #3 on: Dec 27, 2007, 08:58:56 AM »
If she agrees, you're home free. Just take her agreement to the court and they almost certainly will approve it.

Just make sure you get the court to sign it or you'll find yourself in trouble later.

 

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