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Author Topic: What can I do?  (Read 2619 times)


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What can I do?
« on: Nov 02, 2008, 12:33:25 PM »
ok this is the first time even looking for advise or help on this.  My daughter is now 14 and this has been going on for an extremely long time and I do not really know what to do.

I am a proud father and I have 3 boys of my own with me and I just started seeing my daughter again this last month.  With her being 14 now she is seeing though all the crap that is and has been said by her grandparents and her mom.  So with this said let me start at the beginning.

When she was younger I would always try to get her for the entire weekend.   Her grandparents would call at night and talk to her and the next thing I know she wants to go home.  This happened OVER and OVER.  about 4 to 5 years ago I started driving semi which took me away from home for 2 weeks at a time.  But sometimes I would not get home till saturday or even sunday, which through a BIG damper on things.  After trying so many times I finally gave up and just stuck to sending her cards and letters and stoped trying to get her when I could.  This lasted about 3 1/2 years.. I stoped driving after I hurt my back and was really miserable for about a year.   

About 2 months ago she found a way to get ahold of me.  (I have always asked her to call or email me when she can)  and since then we have talked litterly every day almost.  I was able to get her over night yesterday and the same thing happened, but this time (which made me so very happy) she told them that she is staying here, even after them trying to convicer her to go home.  She put her foot down and stuck to her guns.  (I was extreamly happy at that moment) 

I am not sure if I did the right thing in the past by letting her decide or not.  I feel in a way I was in the wrong, but nothing I can do about it now. 

I do not know hardly anything about the law concerning this, and I do not know where to start, and I do NOT have the money to hire a laywer to get this figured out.   With me now disabled I am always home and do not work. 

As I said she lives with her grandparents, they have .. (I do not remamber what it is called) guarden of (something) .. they went and got it from the court.  That way they can provide for my daughter and her sister. 

I believe my visitation still stands even with them having that but I do not know.  I don't know if I even have any rights at all.  And if I do still have my visitation rights, I do not even know how to go about enforcing them.

The reason her grandparents went for it is that my daughters mother was/is incapable of taking care of her and her sister, and at the time it was the only way to get them out of her mothers hands. 

So what can I do and what rights do I have?



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sent you a private message... check your inbox.... nm
« Reply #1 on: Nov 07, 2008, 10:40:40 AM »


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Re: What can I do?
« Reply #2 on: Nov 10, 2008, 09:58:57 AM »
Hello, NYT!

I am sorry you are going through all of this but very glad for you that your daughter is beginning to talk with you again.

I believe the first thing you should do is get your hands on a copy of the guardianship that was filed by/with the grandparents. It's quite likely that after all this time you do not have a copy of it, so you cannot know for sure what your and their rights are at this point in time and by the sounds of it, they will probably not give you a copy.

If you recall the courthouse that they went to to file the court papers, you can go into that same courthouse and go to the clerk and ask them to look up with case information. They will have what is called a 'court jacket' on file that will have all of the information related to the case, including I would suppose a copy of the final order from the judge.

Once you have your hands on that, please feel free to get in touch with me again and I would be happy to help you interpret those orders. My advice is to tell NO ONE about what you are doing...not even your daughter even if you want so badly to tell her that you are going to try to fight for her again. It is absolutely important that you do this as quietly as possible so that no actions are made unbeknownst to you in an attempt to block your access.

As I said, let me know if you need additional help. You could also message me privately and I can see if I can find any information for the court online.

~I am not a lawyer; my opinions are my own and not to be construed as legal advice.~


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Re: What can I do?
« Reply #3 on: Nov 10, 2008, 05:34:04 PM »
They may just have power of attorney. In that case, it will be easier to overturn it. Do find out exactly what has been filed, if anything.
Are you the legal dad? Any prior court orders?


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Re: What can I do?
« Reply #4 on: Nov 20, 2008, 12:00:00 AM »
Oh, good news that she's not a victim of PAS. I like hearing stories of kiddos that can decide for themselves. I think it's an issue you have to take up with the courts though. I think the guardianship might be easier to overturn than you think. She's old enough to speak for herself in court.


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