>First of all, you are being more than rude. I was not looking
>for your subjective opinion, I was looking for information and
>possibly other people's experiences. I have not even discussed
>this issue of money with my husband. It came to my mind, when
>posting as I was not sure how that (social security ) would be
>affected. How dare you incinuate that my husband wants to
>"milk their biological fathers payments". You don't know my
>husband or myself. My husband not once has ever brought up
>this matter. Even when we were dating, my husband told me that
>he wanted me to know that he would adopt my children as he was
>that committed to us and now that we are a family, we are
>discussing this more.
In Indys defense, all too often ncp get put thru the wringer for nothing but money. Any time anyone comes to these boards with primarily a money issue, it puts a bad taste in most mouths. We see and try to help far too many parents that are forced into poverty with crushing
child support awards, and the only care the cp has ,, is the check gonna be on time you loser!!.
>Secondly, the amount of money that my children get each month
>is a substantial amount that will make quite a difference for
>them when they want to go to school. Their biological father
>did nothing for them (no disrespect for the deceased
>intended..it is simply the facts)...if they can benefit from
>this by having the money to make a difference in their future
>then I want them to have that. I'm sorry , I don't have
>unlimited funds somewhere else for them to attend college and
>we have two other children to take care of as well (my
>husband's 2 children).
Regardless of the amount,, would it have been an issue if it was fifty bux a month?? THATS what a lot of folks here would ask... Besides, do you think any other parent here has the kind of financial security to put children thru college? Despite what you say, the money IS an issue to you, otherwise you would have went thru with the adoption without thought of it. If it went away in light of an adoption, you stated you wouldnt allow an adoption to take place. So before you climb up on your morality high horse,, check your hypocrisy at the door.
How dare you have the audacity to
>incinuate that we don't have "pure love" or are not ready to
>approach the topic of adoption.
Ummm, I believe you already confirmed that issue by stating the adoption wouldnt take place if the surviver bennies went byebye. So, I wont even insinuate a thing, I just call em like I see em. Im more than happy to offer advise or resources to anyone asking,, and Im more than happy to render an opinion when someone posts like a hypocritical ass.
Sorry, but I've been through
>my house burning down, my husband suddenly and unexpectedly
>dying at the age of 42, my mother and sisterinlaw having
>cancer, medical issues of my own, moving, relocating,
>remarrying and accepting 2 new children into my life as well
>as the issues and hassles of an ex wife in the last 4 years.
While I am sorry you have had it rough,, I dont see the relevance to the subject at hand.. Are you looking for a pitypot? Sorry, Im fresh out. I dont even keep one for myself.
I
>deal with life realistically. How dare you make comments that
>my husband doesn't take this 100% serioiusly...you don't know
>what we've discussed...he has like I said never even brought
>up money. I am the one who wants to be responsible for making
>sure there is money for them to attend school...I feel that
>obligation...it's the least their biological father could
>provide for them, since he didn't give them anything
>else--again something you know nothing about.
Well, facts be known. If a step adopts the children of a living father, he is relieved of the financial obligation to his children. The adoptive parent assumes that obligation. Personally, I am appalled that your dead spouse is not relieved of that obligation. Instead, we the taxpaying public get to continue to provide a check to you.
>Not that your opinion matters...but my husband is one of the
>most kindest, respectful, loving man I have ever met...he has
>opened his heart and taken on the responsibility of raising my
>children and being the father they never had....a rare breed
>of man...who will do it ...with or without the adoption.
>Anyway, it's a mute point....I called social security
>office....his adopting them affects their social security in
>no way what so ever. Because their father died before the
>adoption will take place...there is no effect. That is their
>right...their entitlement. So we will procede with the
>adoption...and my children will have their college fund and my
>children will be loved and cared for by 2 parents who are
>always looking out for their best interest. I was lucky to
>find one of the good guys still left out there in this cynical
>world.
> Thanks for making my first visit to this board such a
>memorable one
Actually, your kids will have two fathers and a free ride on the taxpayer. Im sure he didnt pay into the ss fund the amount they will collect, thus we get to pay them, you get to scam the public, and you dear respectful hubby gets to dodge the financial obligation. I do wonder however,, is he aware that he will be liable for child support to you if you divorce him?? Now,, wouldnt THAT be a hoot,, you scammin the public and gettin a cs check from him.
So regardless of your protestations of your pure motive,, it just aint there. I am glad however you got the answers you were looking for.
Good luck,
Signed,
John Q Public
