HA..I actually AM THE FIRST WIFE!!!!!

[Xcowgirl]

Well with all the research that I have done....(no marriage paperwork was EVER FILED!)

DH and PBFH - have never actually been legally married...

Legally I AM THE FIRST WIFE!!!!!  That will frost her cookies!!!

The paperwork was never filed - they did get a divorce - but...truely who cares...

So now when she screams in my face, all this drama about her being his First and only wife in Gods eyes.....

I got HER!

It's the small things - like a piece of certified mail with the state seal on it stating "That this marriage was never valid, due to no paperwork every being filed."...

All I can say is BOOM!!!  I got cha!

All smiles today ladies....

[forthekids24]

I completely understand how you feel!  

Our PBFH called DH just days before our wedding saying that his "second" marriage wouldn't last more than 5 years.... huh.. funny thing, we are celebrating our 8th anniversary next week.  AND her current husband of not even 2 years has been calling DH asking if she was "always" this crazy.... looks like her marriage won't last 5 years.

Gotta love Karma.

FTK

[Kitty C.]

Ditto here!

First we heard that PBFH and her live-in were to get married the summer of 1998, then it was the summer of 1999.  but once we set our wedding date, May 1999, all of a sudden she got busy!  And now I will FOREVER remember her wedding date, because it's EXACTLY 2 weeks after ours!

I've heard all the stats, too.  About how 60-80% of second marriages don't last.  And even tho DH and I have had our problems, we've worked out the majority of them and will continue to.  No ultimatums, no threatening, just a mutual agreement and understanding and doing it all in love.

While HER DH gave her an ultimatum last fall, that she WILL attend marriage counseling with him or he's filing!  No wonder she's been half-assed nice ever since! Now it's just a wait and see game to see how long it lasts, LOL!  

[oklahoma]

The last time I spoke to my husband's ex, she informed me that he will divorce me too! (I didn't remind her that SHE was the one who did the divorcing.)

My husband mentioned once that his ex tried to get back with him after we were engaged.  Sad!! especially considering she was already remarried.  In the past, she has sat on our couch crying because her marriage was failing.  And the last time she saw us at our home was 4 days after our second child was born--when everyone was so happy and excited about the new addition.  She actually asked my husband once why he couldn't have been THIS way when they were married.  He grew up but she never did.....  So she missed out.

We have been married 4 years now.  My husband laughs because I am counting down to when I have been married to him longer than ex #1.   For some reason that is a big hurdle for me; he laughs, but I think my husband understands.  (BTW, there is an ex #2--I already passed her up--plus no kids from that relationship, so we have very few dealings with her.)

[oneandonly]

My husband and I have been together almost 7 years now-married 4 on June 24.....his previous "marriage"-actually livng together, was 3 whole months (long enough to get pregnant of course)....
So, without a doubt, I am the oneandonly~

[DMcD]

Jeez, I bet she's red in the face!! Am am DH's 2nd wife, yes, but I am the 1st Mrs. McD. BM never changed her name and has used her maiden name from day one. She started hyphenating about a year before we got married, but has since stopped doing that, since she was having trouble opening bank accounts, applying for loans, etc. because her paycheck had a hyphenated last name and she had NO identification at all for DH's last name, other than their divorce paperwork LOL!

DH and I have officially been a couple for longer than he and BM. Nearly nine years. They were together, functionally, for only eight years. It's nice when you have at least a little left over as the second wife. DH had already experienced BM's pregnancy and her childbirth, so he was a little ho-hum about my kids. But he did cut all of their umbilical cords, which he hadn't done with any of his other three kids. Sometimes you have to take the little victories. You, on the other hand, got the big victory!! Too funny and congrats on being the official "first lady"!

[purrrfectgirl]

I know the feeling.  Hubby's ex was Catholic but didn't bother to get married by a Catholic priest.  I am Catholic as well (hubby is Southern Baptist).  Anyway, for all those non-Catholics out there, you have to usually go through a long, painful process to get an annulment so you can get married in the Catholic church, even if you were married originally in another Church.  Well, we went to start the process and since his ex was Catholic and didn't get married in the Catholic church, they deemed her marriage to hubby null-and-void.  So legally, I'm the second, but according to her church (and mine), in God's eyes, I'm the only Mrs. E.  His ex thought it would take us months to get the annulment.  Thanks to her stupidity we got it in less than 30 days.  It really burnt her ass when the paper was just sent to her saying the church doesn't recognize her marriage and hubby is free to marry again.  I just laugh.  Small concelation, but it really annoys her, so that makes it even better!

[sweetnsad]

I'm not my DH's first wife, but we've had many firsts....my husbands ex wife had three c-sections, so he had never experienced a natural birth until we had our daughter....and again, in a few days, we will have our second child.  That meant alot to him, he was so overwhelmed!  And I was so happy that I could do that for him.
So, although we may not be each other's "first" spouse, we are very happy and share many "first times" together.

[Kitty C.]

And I thought I was the only one who did that, LOL!  Just 3 more years to go!  If PBFH and SF make it that long, I will be stunned!

[forthekids24]

Love it!  Funny how it is the little things.

Our PBFH couldn't have the kids naturally.... seems she has Herpes and it was flaring up when it came time to deliver both of theirs... DH had only seen C-Sections.

The look on his face when we had our son...of course natuarally and without all the drugs she had pumped in to her during labor..... oh and BTW, she only gave him girls;)

FTK

[forthekids24]

Love it!  Funny how it is the little things.

Our PBFH couldn't have the kids naturally.... seems she has Herpes and it was flaring up when it came time to deliver both of theirs... DH had only seen C-Sections.

The look on his face when we had our son...of course natuarally and without all the drugs she had pumped in to her during labor..... oh and BTW, she only gave him girls;)

FTK

[Xcowgirl]

Child Birth...

When Dh and PBFH had their child - he was working long hours - met her at the hospital when "it" was in labor....he was in the waiting room and fell asleep - the "MIL" refused to go and get him and he missed it all.

But with our two BOYS ( and yes they are driving me crazy - (5 and 2)during labor - I had a hard time telling who was the doctor down there...LOL LOL

He still to this day thinks that the process of giving birth is the most beautiful thing a woman is able to do....well there are a few other thinkgs - but this is a clean site......LOL OL

[Xcowgirl]

I to am also Catholic - Dh "was" Southern Batpist...he has since convereted so we can raise the boys in OUR religion.

High points on all that paperwork....He was drunker than a sunk when they were "married" - no license was ever filed - and he married her under destress - due to her being pregnant....our priest was amazed with all the proof - the best man is my DH cousion - had to retrieve DH at a BAR on their wedding day - he was 6 hours LATE and could barely walk....what was that telling ya....if it was me....it would be screaming - "Hello - this guy truely doesn't want to do this...."

DH begged me and asked me to marry him over 10 times - I had issues with him having an ex (being a child of divorce) and I knew what it was going to be like (difference here - my parents get along), I said yes and we got married in Jamicia - on June 12th = we are sealing the deal in the church...

The things we do for true love....LOL LOL

[JAFO]

Just enjoy the fact that you know the truth.

[MixedBag]

Actually, I would have fun rubbing that title in too...

My EX and fake-wife married in the church only after our divorce....they never registered their marriage in with the state.

So yep, I WAS his first wife, Thankfully his EX-wife, and the only true wife he has had....

That's why I call her fake-wife -- they're not legal.

But she took on his last name, so no one in town realizes the farce that they present.

That's the part that bothers me -- no one realized (to include the 5 kids in their blended family) that they're not married.

But the truth will come out -- and they'll probably never get married so she doesn't lose the money she collects from the government every month.

Now I'm a second-wife -- and the fact that I wasn't first, doesn't bother me at all -- because I'm the WIFE, period.

[Xcowgirl]

The title really means nothing to me...."first", I feel the same - I am his wife and his ONLY True Love...

Long story short...

We were together before they were married - then we broke up and she got pregnant - he married her, figuring we would never see each other again.  He was in one state and me in another.

To me, it's not that big of a deal....but when she is on a ramp-page and screaming terrible things at my DH....about...how she will always be his first wife...yad-yad-da...

He is waiting to say...Well....legally NOPE..you are just my daughters mother and you ASSUMED my last name..

[MixedBag]

How similar....!!!

Fake-wife and EX#2 were together too before....and he fathered a child by her but SHE never told him OR he never let on to me.

I came along a month after she got pregnant -- had no flippin clue she and he were that close because he never let on.

I think she never told him about the daughter -- because they were in different countries and that they would never see each other again....but then again, she called every six months or so, she knew where to find him.

Then we hit the rocks -- yep, partly my fault, but 99% I say was HIS fault....and she drove the wedge between us.

I could go on more about their history, but heck!

And I too am waiting for the right moment to say "Nope, you're not the step-mother to my son legally, so move on.  But my son does legally have a step-father....who has more rights than you do with regards to my son."

[nosonew]

I have all of you beat, my ss was concieved during a ONE NIGHT STAND!  She can't ever throw anything in my face, she doesn't even KNOW him! LOL. (I met him when ss was 4)  And we are now going on 10 years together!

[stepmomtwo1]

We have a year and two months and child support ends and we will never even tell people that dh was ever married before. It's too bad that his daughter treats him like dirt because the ex hag has brain washed her that daddy doesn't love mommy so he can't possiably love step daughter (crazy loon that this woman is) no matter if the ex has married and moved on especially with the man she had a affair with the whole last year of their three year marriage.

We have been married 11 years next month and as far as we are concerned and anyone we know he was never even married before. I can't wait for her to get in my face the next time so I can let her have it with the fact that dh never loved her so as far as their marrige goes it never was a real marriage.

That is the least that she deserves! For sure!