For starters, I haven't given you any advice. I believe in letting people find their own way to hell.
Did you happen to read this? This will give you a better idea of what "help" is available here and what you can expect in the form of information from the SPARC site.
Welcome to SPARC, the Separated Parenting Access & Resource Center.
SPARC's goal is to ensure that children of divorce continue to have meaningful relationships with both parents, regardless of marital status. We advocate on behalf all non-custodial parents to ensure they get equitable treatment in court and continued access to their children. In addition, we work to promote gender equality in Divorce and Custody issues.
SPARC recognizes the value of fatherhood and supports the concept of true
joint custody, where parents work together for the best interests of their children. When joint custody is not possible or workable, we often advocate for fathers as custodial parents. Statistics show that custodial fathers are the most likely to encourage a positive relationship between their children and the other parent and to raise happy, healthy children.
We support parents who have the best interests of their children in mind, and who understand the importance of participation by both parents in the children's lives. Unfortunately, many custodial parents see no value in the presence of the other parent (often fathers) in their children's lives, and some actively work to sabotage any involvement. This psychological warfare is a form of child abuse that frequently causes serious and permanent harm to children. We actively oppose those who engage in this kind of child-harming behavior.
To accomplish our mission, we serve as a provider of information and support resources, and we provide our services without cost. The information and services available through SPARC can be used to great effect, but they will not help a parent "cheat" their way to custody. We work to promote fair and equitable treatment, not to give one parent or the other an unfair advantage.
One of the more recent advances in Family Court litigation has been the recognition of what is referred to as a "Parenting Evaluation". This is exactly what it sounds like- an assessment of each spouse's parenting skills. In a proper evaluation, a comprehensive investigation into each spouse's psychological makeup, parenting skills, and other factors is conducted and the results are weighed in an attempt to determine the best custody arrangements.
We support parenting evaluations by impartial evaluators who are truly concerned about what is best for the children, but we also offer many other avenues for managing and resolving divorce and custody-related issues. If you're a recent arrival, we suggest you start off by leaving a message about your situation on the SPARC Forums. The users and Moderators on the SPARC Forums will be glad to assist you in finding the information you need.